2010 A Photo Diary

So there it is - my 2010! If anyone wants to know where any photos were / what they are - just ask :).
2010 involved 3 different countries, buying a flat, a new kitty cat, lots of giggles, having a huge surprise and finding out we were having a little girl. It has certainly been a year to remember, as I'm sure next year will be even more. I hope you all experienced a great year too!
With love and light xo

24+4 - Shopping times

Hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas and got everything they wished for! We all got completely spoiled (Mitch, Cupcake and Me!) but me especially - I must have been a very good girl this year! I couldn't even begin to list all the beautiful presents I got; I'm still completely overwhelmed by everyones generosity and kindness. I will take a few pictures of some of the lovely things Cupcake got for Christmas, and hopefully try and post those over the next few days.

I'm also aware that I'm due a bump picture which I'm going to try and take tomorrow (better late than never right?), but I'm pretty convinced that the majority of my bump is now turkey based, so shouldn't be judged too harshly. I have eaten so much lovely food these past few days, and it doesn't really show any signs of stopping over the next few days. Buffets, meals and family gatherings seem to be the order for this week, which is lovely, but I'm also shattered! Not sleeping particularly well - I'm just going to put that down to constantly being excited about something.

Today was a hugely exciting day as we went proper shopping! It started off with a 9am IKEA visit involving free bacon cobs, and ended with collapsing in the bath at about 5pm with very achey feet. Still, the visit proved hugely successful, as we have ordered / bought -

1. The drawers for the nursery from IKEA, ready to be put up tomorrow. Cheap and cheerful, and match the wardrobes already in the spare room. (Link)

2. A few things from the Sleepy Owl range at Dunelm Mill, for decoration and cuteness! (Link)

3. A cot! This should hopefully come early next week when Mitch is still off work, so may even be put up next week too! I'm reeeeally excited that this may be put up soon, and really like the cot we've ended up getting - plain white and simple but seems really chunky and practical. Thank you mum and dad! (Link)

4. Kind of cheating as it was last night we ordered this, but the car seat. I wasn't going to get an expensive car seat - just an Argos branded one, however this on sale last night for about half price so we ordered it. Back to full price this morning! (Link)

So I feel much more organised than previously. Mitch is making the ultimate sacrifice and unboxing his DVDs (temporarily!) to put into folders to make room for baby stuff. This is where I wish we had more room, but we don't, so not a lot of point wishing really! That should mean we can have a shuffle round with furniture and decide what can go where. This, along with the fact my dad is coming to do some shelving tomorrow, should mean I can start organising baby things as and when we get them. How exciting!

Anyway, I intended for this just to be a short update as Mitch is asleep, but you might be able to tell I'm quite excited today :). Little one has still been kicking away a little - still not consistently but I'm attributing that to the anterior placenta still. Seeing midwife again on Thursday so looking forward to that, then it's down to going every 3 weeks!

Big Congratulations to someone who received some very good news over the last few days, and a belated Happy Christmas to everyone else.

With love and light xo

24 - Posi

Wanted to post a huge entry this evening, but not really feeling up to it. However, just wanted to concentrate / focus myself on the positives -

1. It is Christmas Eve Eve :). I love Christmas, and can't wait much longer! Hopefully everyone likes the presents we've bought, I always worry so much about it but it's a little late now!

2. We have reached our "V Day" as it's referred to on BabyCentre! As I am 24 weeks today, baby is considered viable, and every day from now her chances of survival increase I were to go into preterm labour. Not that I will obviously, she's far too comfy cooking away! But it's still a slightly reassuring thought, if also slightly morbid.

3. Our little girl has a name. That is still perfect.

4. I think we've chosen the music for the 3D scan. We needed about 15 mins worth, so will have another listen tomorrow then post the songs for people to listen to.

Must stay positive. x

With love and light xo

23+5 - 2010 Photos

I've been working on a summary post for 2010 on and off all day, but will hopefully get around to posting it in the next few days. Just wanted to look back at what a busy year this has been! For now, here's a sneak preview...

Finally finished (hopefully!) my Christmas shopping today and did another few hours of wrapping, so feel a little more in control now. Going to Meadowhall tomorrow with Chlo-bot but don't need anything, so going to try and make it a stress free meander (how naive!). Need to make sure I keep a drink with me - very nearly passed out in Boots at the weekend, which was very embarrassing, and I just feel like such a fool when it happens!

Getting some great ideas for the songs, also found a few more ourselves. Hoping to make a decision in the next week and try and stick them together in one long mix! Keep the suggestions coming :)

With love and light xo

23+5 - Music

I need help! We're having the 3D scan in just over 2 weeks, and I need some music suggestions for the background - about 15 minutes worth. Everyone seems to have pan pipes or xylophones, and it really makes me cringe!

Ideas so far -

So please - help! Suggest songs for us!

23+4 - Sleep like a dream

Just a little update before I shoot out for the day - I have officially broken up for Christmas! It's about time. I was most definitely ready for this mornings lie in till 9am (like a dream!), although a little frustrated to find I'd not turned my alarms off. But I still had the delicious, uninterrupted, undisturbed sleep that I've been looking forward to for weeks. Consequently, I've woken up this morning full of beans! Hopefully this will last, although now I've written it down... probably not.

I feel like I'm really starting to get an obvious little bump, which is both lovely and frustrating. I'm such a meanie, and trying to avoid spending any money on maternity clothes where not needed. I'd kind of hoped I could just get by in long tops, but even at 23 weeks that's proving difficult! I'm hoping that the sales are full of beautiful, reasonably priced maternity clothes - hoping but not expecting. Maternity clothes are just so expensive for the little wear you get out of them! You should be able to rent them. Or Primark should sell them.

5 sleeps till Christmas! I am still completely unprepared, but I've put plans in place for this week to get my bum into gear. Down to 5/6 people left to buy for which is great, finally wrote a few Christmas cards (sorry if you don't get one - a little late I know!), and wrapping a few presents a day. It would help if I wasn't so OCD about wrapping, but I am so there!

Off to do some lovely Christmas baking, after spending the morning doing cleaning and tidying. Just wanted to add one more thing... our little girl finally has a name. :)

With love and light xo

22+6 - Name!

NatalieDee.com

A few baby links that have made me smile! -

How To (And Not To) Take Care of a Baby

Awkward Pregnancy Photos

Wanted to post a few links, annnnnd just drop by and say... I think we have a name for cupcake! It's something we wrote off a few weeks ago, but then somehow both suggested on Sunday - I actually dreamed about the name on Saturday night, so when Mitch tentatively brought it up again it just seemed perfect! I still don't know whether we're going to keep in secret, or tell everyone after Christmas. Opinions?

I'm so bad at keeping secrets, and this not telling a soul thing is killing me! But, what if we change our minds? Or someone says something negative about her name? Or she doesn't look like the name?

She's been kicking up a storm these past few days, and it never fails to make me smile. We are so lucky, and I cannot wait to meet her :)

With love and light xo

22+3 - Unorganised!

These past few days I've felt a little more movement from cupcake, which is always nice and reassuring (although apparently the novelty of this is going to wear off soon... something to do with bladders and trampolines... I'm choosing to selectively forget this at the moment!). Went to the cinema last night and she kicked a few times, although nothing I could feel with my hand. Well, she stops as soon as I put my hand there - obviously awkward already! However this morning she was kicking away and managed to feel a fair few kicks with my hand, very lovely - although I'm pretty sure Mitch will be jealous!

As horrible as it feels, I'm only just getting the hang of calling cupcake a girl, and referring to her as a she instead of it! Everyone else seems to have grasped it but not me apparently. I considered the fact that this makes me an awful mother but have again chosen to ignore that - selective pregnancy memory is amazing.

Debated the fact that I'm an awful mother / person last night with Chloe. Loads of people due at the same time as me on BabyCentre are incredibly organised. My organisation so far has come down to a t-shirt with a bird on it and a pair of jeggings. Well, not really but thats what it feels like! Baby cannot possibly arrive till April, as she'll be sleeping in my bottom draw.

No luck with names either, although to be honest neither me or Mitch have been looking! I feel like I have forever, so could really do with a prod towards actually looking. Also decided we can't possibly pick just one name as she might not look like that name, so have made the job altogether more difficult by deciding we need at least 5. Pretty sure she's going to be called Baby for about 3 months.

I've booked my 3D scan for the 4th January! So I'll be 25 / nearly 26 weeks - need to find some music to go with this. I'll post about this later. Also realised I never posted my 20 week scan picture so I'll get on that soon.

It's Christmas soon isn't it. I should probably get on that soon. I have officially become Captain Unorganised.

With love and light xo

22+2 - Bump Photo

Quick update with a bump photo - will post more tomorrow! People now keep commenting on my little bump which is lovely :)

With love and light xo

21+5 - Movement

Just a quick post to say that... we felt baby move! I say we, because Mitch felt too :D

I thought I'd felt her a few days ago, but wasn't sure. We were lying in bed tonight talking about her, and Mitch told her she better get a wriggle on soon as mummy was getting worried. Then he put his hand on my tummy, and we both felt something. He looked up at me, and asked if I'd just felt something, to which I replied by almost exploding with excitement!!

We felt cupcake kick a few times over the next 5 minutes, each time both of us feeling it. I even tested Mitch just to check, and stopped telling him when I felt it, but we were both feeling the same thing!

It is incredible, and I just want to feel her again now! However that seems to be my lot for tonight. We are so incredibly lucky :)

With love and light xo

21+5 - Babymon!

Mitch forwarded this and it made me laugh, so here you go! -

21+2 - Christmas

Today has been quite productive, and quite Christmas-y! I put our lovely little tree up, cleaned / tidied etc., baked jam tarts, wrapped tons of presents annnnd watched lots of Christmas music countdowns. Finally beginning to feel a little more festive, which is a relief - I was worried for a while1 Also ordered a big batch of presents online, so we're down to just a few people left to buy for, making me feel a little more organised - my spreadsheet was very pleased!

Nothing to report in the land of cupcake, keep thinking I've maybe felt something but kind of given up all hope! As long as she's okay in there than everything's okay with me. Feel like I'm having an easier time of things lately (am I going to regret writing this?!), as my appetite is fine, my aches and pains are minimal, I'm less lethargic, and generally feeling good!

Having a few ideas for nursery decoration / themes etc. as Mitch wanted to get some ideas together. We didn't want anything too girly, too pink, or too bleurgh (?!), so we've been throwing a few ideas around, and loving the idea of an Owl and the Pussycat theme! Mainly because I love the poem, and we both love owls and cats! Found some really cute wall decals with trees / owls / kitties / moons, and found some super cheap owl bedding that we're going to look at over Christmas, but we may be onto a winner! I'll post more pictures with inspiration soon. Opinions?

Finally, today is Chloe's birthday, so a biiiiiig Happy Birthday to her!

With love and light xo

21 - Update!

So I said I was going to post a proper entry today, and here I am! No excuse really, as today is another snow day! I have never in my entire life seen snow like this, it's amazing. However being pregnant is a slight inconvenience in the snow, due to the lack of snow ball fights / sledging / falling over / general snow frivolities! Still, we had a little wander into Mansfield yesterday, and round to my parents for tea. It's so incredibly beautiful and peaceful. I'm sure I'll be fed up of it next week, but at least whilst I don't have to brave the roads for work it's lovely.

This week has been the week full of ill here, with Mitch being super sick with a chest infection. It's been really hard to see him struggling and not be able to do a lot, but we took a few little walks yesterday to try and get some fresh air, which seemed to help. His fever broke last night, and today he seems a lot better, fingers crossed!

Last weeks Nottingham shop was postponed because of the snow, and I haver a feeling this weeks will be too! So I've not bought any girly clothes yet, however I've got a few adorable bits and pieces from Mitch's parents (including the AMAZING Hello Kitty vest pictured!) which is enough for now!

Still not felt any movement, which is getting quite disheartening. But I found out why at the scan at least - I have an anterior placenta, which basically means the placenta is lying at the front and most likely blocking all kicks etc., as baby has to kick through that for me to feel anything. Not really a lot I can do about it, and at least I have a reason now!

Speaking of the scan, I realised I never really wrote about it! The scan was lovely, and the sonographer was super sweet and lovely. She explained everything to us really clearly, showing us everything she could, even though cupcake was curled up in a yoga pose. We got to see hands and feet, legs, the heart beating away, gorgeous lips, a brief glimpse of a face, and lots of lovely things. Baby was being incredibly lazy and not moving, so we had to quickly drink some cold water to see the gender, but she eventually showed us :)

My parents have offered to buy us a 3D scan for Christmas which I am bouncing off the walls excited about, but I'll update more about that later. The major discussion around this at the moment being the music we choose! This will involve another poll I think...

Everyone's commented on the fact my bump seems to have made an appearance this week, which is really lovely. I love people noticing and I love my little cupcake bump! Ask me in about 15 weeks and I might not feel the same way!

And finally, today I am 21 weeks. Meaning that whatever happens with my due date, I am definitely half way today! How unreal is that?!

Determined to keep the blog going - I'm finding it really interesting to remind myself how quickly things are changing, and how quickly time is going! It's also generated some rather unexpected readers, including Mitch's tattooist (www.tattoos-by-ady.co.uk) who I promised I would mention. Hi :P

Comment with questions or just to say hi, it's lovely to feel I'm not talking to myself!

With love and light xo

20+6 - Catface!

Slightly off topic, but here's a photo of one off my other babies! This is Aeris Boo, and this was taken on Saturday when we only had a few inches off snow. Now we have about... 18 inches? I've never seen anything like this!

With love and light xo

20+6 - Bump Photo

Technically this is nearly 21 weeks, however it's all I've got! Only got chance to take this today because we have snow day! Will update with more info over the next few days, but all is well here.

With love and light xo

20 - Cupcake is...

Cupcake is... a girl!!

I'll update in more detail later with a picture to show you, but wanted to make sure everyone in the world knew we were having a little girl! I couldn't be happier to have seen our little girl on the scan, and to know everything is okay. Now, only 20 weeks to go!

With love and light xo

20 - Excited!!

Updating from my phone because I'm far too excited and nervous to sleep!!! Keep dreaming about the scan :). I want to go to sleep so I can wake up and it be here, like you do for Christmas! I have no idea how I'm going to get through the next 20 weeks without seeing cupcake.

I'm having this weird pain in the right side of my chest every time I breathe in, which is another reason I'm having trouble sleeping. Hopefully by the morning it'll be gone!

The next time I update, hopefully I'll have more news :)

With love and light xo

19+5 - Apprehensive

So only 2 sleeps to go until my 20 week scan! This excites me, but is also starting to scare me actually. I've been focusing on this point as a huge exciting thing, but a few dreams have left me a little apprehensive. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm allowed to worry a little bit! It's amazing how much my whole life has changed in such a short period of time. This baby was a huge surprise, but I would give anything to make sure that they are healthy and happy.

I've been changing my mind a little on gender these past few days. All the way through I've thought girl, and girl seems to be the majority vote. However last night all I dreamed about was finding out the sex, and it being a boy - and now I'm completely back to square one! I've still left my vote as a girl, but my women's intuition is obviously failing me!

I've been quite achey this week, with my hips / knees / shoulders feeling like I've been working out, when I blatantly haven't (although I do need to get on that!). I'm sure this will disappear soon enough, and it's only really an issue when trying to sleep. Sleep's kind of evading me at the moment - I'm still just getting the good 30min bursts, which is just a little odd and leaves me quite tired. Still, better than no sleep!

I've been a little negative these past few days, and a few things have been getting me down. However I keep trying to remind myself how lucky I am, and how amazing this is. I'm sure I'll be super positive again after Thursdays scan!

So - VOTE! And comment... this blog is getting rather lonely with me talking to myself!

With love and light xo

19+2 - Loves!

Lovez!!!

With love and light xo

19+1

I know I've been a little slack in posting, but I've hit a bit of a wall this week. By the time I get home from work I feel like crawling into bed and sleeping forever, and the last thing I want to do is sit and write. Still, I'm determined to keep this up! Speaking of sleep, I'm having this weird sleep where I wake up - wide awake - every 30 minutes. Very frustrating as feels like I haven't slept at all, but having incredibly vivid dreams.

I've added a poll to the top right of the blog, so please vote! I'm keeping a poll at work also, and I'll reveal the final votes just before my scan - hopefully revealing the true gender at about 10am on Thursday! 5 days :)

Been shopping into Derby today. Saw lots more lovely baby clothes (obviously!), but put all buying on hiatus till after the scan now. Mitch is treating me to a little shopping trip to Nottingham next weekend, for Christmas presents, baby stuff, and maybe a Cookie Shake! Hoping to be able to buy my first little outfit for cupcake, as I've been very good and haven't bought anything yet. I have no idea how I have resisted this urge!

I don't really have a lot to say! I'm still unable to feel cupcake unfortunately, but we've listen to him / her kicking away for the past few nights. The kicks sound so strong, but just not been able to feel them :(. Or my head keeps playing tricks on me, and I keep thinking I have, but I'm not sure.

5 days till the scan! This has me both incredibly excited, and quite scared. Really looking forward to being able to see cupcake again though, it cannot possibly come round soon enough!

With love and light xo

18+3 - Bump Photo

Excuse the tired face and poor light, I'm afraid it's that time of year! Will update over the next few days, super sleepy tonight. Nothing to report - still no movement felt :(. But all is well!

With love and light xo

17+5 - Dying to feel!

Haven't updated in nearly a week, but can't really think of a lot to say! I guess just a bit of an update on how I'm feeling?

Been feeling much better these past few days, despite being sick this morning (eww!). I forced myself to have some breakfast and it obviously just didn't agree with me! But other than that I mostly have my appetite back, and in the day I seem to be an eating machine. Trying super hard to eat healthily as I don't want to become the size of a house! I've currently put on about 6lbs, but trying to only weigh myself once a week.

Still having incredibly vivid dreams about cupcake - almost every evening I dream about things happening in the pregnancy, or finding out the sex. But for some reason, I'm only ever pregnant in my dreams, I don't have a baby! Maybe I'll move onto that towards the end...

Went to the midwife last week, and ended up waiting for about 50 minutes as my midwife is sick, but saw 2 lovely midwives instead. I was only in there quite briefly, but they covered a few main points, including the fact all my test results seemed okay! They listened to cupcakes heartbeat and you could hear kicking and movement, but I still haven't felt anything. Dying to feel something! Anything!

I've been lying in bed / in the bath trying to concentrate on feeling movements but it's just not happening. Still, it's not meant to be till 18 - 20 weeks anyway, was just trying hard to feel! I think that will really make thing seem more real, and be a big relief.

Also, only 2 weeks and 2 days till my next (and last) scan! Not like I'm counting or anything...!

Has anyone got any questions? I feel like I'm running out of stuff to say :)

With love and light xo

16+6 - Best / Worst - First Trimester

This has been inspired by an email to a pregnant friend (hi!). My opinion on the best / worst things about the First Trimester - I'll try and do this for the second and third too!

Worst things about the First Trimester:

1. Nausea. I hate hate hate feeling sick, especially when it ruins my appetite. I love food so much, and not being able to eat is the worst kind of torture to me!

2. Vomiting. This is a separate point to nausea because actually being sick is horrible. However pregnancy has helped me get over my fear of vomiting – a bonus I guess? Vomiting also feels like the biggest waste of time in the world, as in "Why on earth did I bother to eat breakfast?"

3. Tiredness. Wanting to go to bed at 6.30 does not lead to a rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. Lots of bed, cats and Grey’s Anatomy! Wanting to have an afternoon nap is not enjoyable when you’re at work.

4. Gas pain. I never thought I’d be blogging about gas, but the pain!! And feeling like a human balloon is quite unpleasant.

5. Isolation. Feeling like you have this amazing secret, yet you’re completely alone because no-one can know. Wanting to scream it from the rooftops, yet being terrified in case it all goes wrong.

However, best things about the First Trimster:

1. The secret. Although you can feel completely isolated, the fact that you have this incredible secret that no-one in the world knows just makes you feel amazing! Every time you talk to someone you have this secret smile, knowing that you’re doing this amazing thing!

2. First scan. I was lucky (I guess?!) to have scans at 6 weeks, 8 weeks and 12 weeks, but the first time you see your little baby on the screen is just an incredible thing. I expected to be overcome with emotion (I cry at adverts!) but instead I thought it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

3. Miracle. The fact that your body is performing this small miracle, and no matter how sick or rubbish you feel, your body is just producing this little person from nothingness!

4. Thin person clothes. Still being able to wear normal clothes! In hindsight I didn’t appreciate this at all, but I’m only 16 weeks now and already missing my favourite jeans!

5. Baby. And finally, the fact that you are having a baby! If this isn’t the most amazing thing about pregnancy I don’t know what is. Being able to dream and imagine and guess all about this tiny little person is just an incredible feeling.

At the end of the day, it's the most amazing thing in the world, but everyone needs to moan!!

With love and light xo

16+5

Not really a lot to update on from these past few days! Mitch has been away, so been distracting myself and keeping busy, fortunately it's gone very quickly and he comes home tomorrow :). I've been going to bed at about 9 though, which has been lovely to do without feeling guilty. I read a friends blog the other day where she posed a good question - am I going to bed because I'm tired / pregnant? Or just using that as an excuse?

Midwife on Thursday, then 3 weeks till the scan! Fingers crossed they can find out the sex. If they can't I will literally sob - I'm done waiting now! I have absolutely no idea how people make it 40 weeks. I must start a boy / girl poll on here to get opinions... My cousin is now having a little girl (congratulations!!) so apparently that means I'm having a boy? I don't really think probability works like that somehow!

Held my friends beautiful little girl today, she was angelic! 6 weeks old and she just slept in my arms the entire time - if only it was going to be that easy the entire time!

Also had a few more ideas with names. One keeps getting stuck in my head that I kind of wrote off weeks ago, and I keep dreaming about it. The more I say it the better it sounds I think, but I suppose I have a while to change my mind! Still no boys names.

Going to try and post more pictures, as I always take tons and do nothing with them! So, first up is my first baby Lola! My pride and joy, even if she is mental. I'll post a photo of Aeris soon, but she generally just sleeps a lot and kills mice.

Hope everything's okay with everyone else, this probably sounds super dull but just want to remember everything :)

With love and light xo

16+3 - Bump Photo

New picture taken today, sorry about the rubbish quality but Mitch is away with work and had to take it with my Macbook. I'm going to try and aim for every other week now, so we'll see how that goes!

With love and light xo

16 - Baby Names

Also, these are amazing! Complete lists of all baby names in England / Wales for 2009 - Boys and Girls

Oliver is most popular for boys, with Olivia being most popular for girls - how strange! And that is by a huge chunk, both of those names are about 7000.

6 boys and 11 girls are called Tiger.
17 girls are called Chardonnay, and 3 were called Champagne.
5 girls were called Chavi.
I can't find any Frodos, Gandalfs or Galadriels, however 38 were called Arwen. (aww!)

The list only includes names that there were 3 or more of, who knows what other weird and wonderful names were used last year!

With love and light xo

16 - Distracted!

I'm a little distracted today - I'm at work, but can't quite seem to focus - my brain seems to have been completely taken over by baby fever! This includes (but is not limited to) prams, nappies, clothes, names, nurseries, breastfeeding, furniture, sleeping, annnnnd just general babies! And this distraction has also completely taken over dreams :)

I think a lot of this has been brought on by my first proper baby shop yesterday. I've looked at bits and pieces before, but yesterday I went shopping to Meadowhall and just looked at so many adorable baby things. Zara had some gorgeous baby clothes that I just wanted to buy all of!

Looked in Mothercare at some prams too, which was really interesting. I've been looking a little bit online to get an idea of what's available / what I want / don't want, and I've been kind of "pram perving" to see what everyone else has, but yesterday was the first time I saw a pram I loved. It was the Quinny Buzz 3 wheeler, and it was just lovely - especially with the carry cot to make it into a lovely little pushchair! Just seemed so much lighter and nicer than a lot of the others, the material was really lush, the folding mechanism seems fantastic, and it would last through to toddlerhood. Been reading reviews and generally looking at in online - looks lush.

Feeling well in myself - sickness seems to have mostly gone apart from odd bits in the morning. Was sick on Monday but only because I forcefed myself cereal! Lesson learned - only eat what I want to eat. Tiredness is slipping away thankfully, although still shattered but putting that more down to work. Took advantage of the free dentist this morning - apparently I have amazing teeth!

Final thing really - going to look at the nursery this afternoon. I have no idea what to ask or look for really, so I've gathered some advice from Kate and BabyCentre! A little nervous actually, just seems so far away, and feels a little like I'm wishing time away! However I need to be organised, and I want to use this nursery so that's what I'm doing. I'll update with how it goes I guess?

Will take / post belly photos soon - has definitely developed into a little bump!

With love and light xo

14+5 - Much Better

Just a quick update to say I'm feeling much better! Little bit of cold left but feel amillion times better than I did. Seem to be able to stay up past 9.30 at the moment which is lovely, and just generally feeling a little more human!

Had a few people commenting on the bump, which I still can't see! Must be there though as now none of my trousers fit, so might treat myself to some next week.

Given up on sleeping on my tummy now I think, I felt guilty enough about it but it was so incredibly comfy and I just wanted to sleep! But now it makes me feel a little sick. Could be purely imaginary but I guess I'll have to get used to it for a while.

Thinking of calling the nursery at college as apparently I need to reserve a place for January 2012. That just seems so crazy to me but I guess needs must! Hoping to go and look round over the next few weeks. Cupcake's not even here yet, I barely have a bump - how could I possibly be considering nurseries!

With love and light xo

14+3 - Full of Cold :(

Haven't updated for a week, mostly due to being full of cold :(. Ended up taking a few days off work towards the end of the week, which I felt really guilty for but just felt awful. Ended up spending the days in bed watching Grey's Anatomy, which seems to be all about babies lately!

Not felt sick for a few days now, the last time I was sick was Monday so at about 13 weeks, hopefully I've seen the last of nausea and vomiting for a while! Feel pretty good actually, apart from the cold. I've got my appetite back (well... I'm constantly hungry!) but I still feel very tired, hopefully that's just down to the cold.

Not really much else to report! Been given a few lovely items for cupcake which I've put away, but we haven't bought anything ourselves yet. Everyone's being so lovely and generous, just makes me feel very blessed :).

Was going to update with a new picture but don't think there's a lot of change on the bump front, will leave the next picture till 15 weeks I think. Although had a student ask me if I was pregnant which I didn't expect for a while yet!

Might make the blog public soon, so hi to anyone reading this :)

With love and light xo

13+3 - Bump Photo

Got my SLR back last night so thought I'd take some pictures of cupcake! I've had a couple of people comment on my "bump" this week but I honestly think I'm just a little tubby! However having compared it to the other picture I can see a bit of a change...

Had a bit of a panic this morning after a little bleeding, but called the emergency midwife who just told me to take it easy. Seems to all be okay now so fingers crossed cupcake was just being silly!

Felt generally okay this week, it's been great to not be feeling sick all the time! I've even managed to eat every day. Hopefully I'm out of the sickness for a little while.

Went baby shopping yesterday and I was very happy to show restraint and not buy anything! Got a bit more of an idea of things that were available etc., but some things just seem so ridiculously expensive! I wouldn't spent £150 on bedding for myself, so how could I do that for a baby?! Been reading a few design blogs for inspiration and I may attempt to make a few bits and pieces. I'd quite like to make a little quilt but my sewing skills may let me down! Also fell in love with the cute nursery decals (like wall sticker things) on etsy.com. We will see!

Looked at prams a little but they were all so confusing! What do you get in the price? What do you pay extra for? What kind? What do we need?! Argh! Will look after Christmas I think...

All in all, we're doing quite well here :). Going to make the blog public soon so trying not to be too boring, but looking forward to reading this back one day!

With love and light xo

Questions

This post is just here for questions!

Ask me anything and I will try and answer to the best of my ability :)

12+5 - Scan Photo

Had my scan today! I was terrified but turns out for no reason whatsoever :). Cupcake was kicking and pushing, and it was just incredible. AND I didn't even cry! Saw hands and feet and it was just lovely. Measured 64mm which moved me ahead 4 days to 12 + 5, and changed my due date to 14th April!

Bean wouldn't cooperate and spin so we saw a lot of the back of the head! But had all measurements taken and was just a lovely experience. Plus it means I now qualify for the HIP grant of £190!

Just on cloud 9 really, soooo happy and overwhelmed! Can now also tell everyone which is just amazing.

Will update more, just wanted to get this down.

With love and light xo

11+4 - Dreams

I’m so fed up of these horrible dreams! Last night I repeatedly dreamed that I / my baby was killed or taken away in a ridiculous way. Last night involved vampires, werewolves, killer cats, and just average thugs. Stupid overactive imagination.

Mitch was climbing last night so I had a PJ, blanket and Project Runway night – bliss! Ended up with two cats curled up on me which never fails to be ridiculously cute. Bedtime was about 9pm. I am such a loser.

Still feeling sick. Still struggling to eat. Blergh! Please hurry up 2nd trimester where I can eat at all times of the day *fingers crossed*.

Nothing else to report. 4 days till scan.

With love and light xo

11+3 - Nervous

I've been a little quiet on the blog front for a few days, but I've just been quite busy with work! And to be honest, a little apprehensive about the 12 week scan. I'm kind of banning myself from reading horror stories until afterwards now, as they stick in your head and play on your mind all night.

At the weekend I drove to Cornwall and back to see my oldest friend graduate. It was fantastic to see everyone, and I wouldn’t have missed it for the world, but I was sooooo tired. It took 9 hours to drive down due to traffic on the M5, and I drove down straight from work, meaning we didn’t arrive until 2am. Also drove on the creepiest roads in the world – I was so thankful not to be alone! Jess’ graduation was amazing though, on the cliff in Plymouth looking out to sea. Everyone that graduated got their name rated for baby appropriateness but no-one passed my stringent testing! Luckily only took 5 hours to drive back so a much more pleasant drive, with no falling asleep that time either.

All seems to be well with baby - aka Babo, Flump, Bean, Bump! Been feeling super tired all week, I think a mix of Cornwall, work, worry and baby. Been sleeping a lot better though and managing to actually sleep through with only waking up a few times. Thought I was past the sickness stage but had a bit of a relapse this week and gone back to not being able to eat / look at food / think about food without vomiting! Seems to only be mornings and evenings though so luckily (really?) I’m okay at work. Aching seems to have also stopped this week!

I can no longer do up any of my work trousers, but I’ve been saved by the wonder of ASDA bump bands! They’re like thick strips of elastic, that go over your bump (or tub in my case!) and the tops of your trousers so you can leave your trousers undone, they don’t fall down and no-one can tell! £8 for 2, so hoping I can get by with these for a few weeks / months. I do have a pair of maternity jeans that I bought in the sale with my birthday money but not had to use really yet.

I am literally dying to tell everyone now. The novelty of having a secret has worn off, and every day I’m surprised that I’ve got home without telling the world! Consequently by the time I get home I’m about ready to explode and just blab about baby stuff for an hour to Mitchell. I just want everyone to know so I can talk about it constantly!! I’m going to tell grandparents / family this weekend, so by the time I’ve had my scan on Tuesday the whole world can know and I can stop hiding. The question is – to Facebook or not to Facebook?!

I keep being asked if I think it’s a boy or a girl and honestly I have no idea. I think after the 12 week scan I’m going to start some kind of voting thing on here so I can get opinions!

This week I have took pictures, but Mitch’s camera seems to be having an off week and consequently all the pictures (loads!) are blurry! So I’m going to wait till 12 weeks and just miss a week early on. Hoping to get my SLR back this weekend so I’ll just use that instead.

I guess that's it for baby news at the moment! It's hard to write in here when I know that so few people are reading, but I want to make it public soon anyway. And I just want to keep a record of how amazing growing a baby is :).

With love and light xo

10+4 - Midwife

So, yesterday I had my first midwife appointment! I was a little nervous, even though I knew she wouldn’t be able to check baby / heartbeat or anything. I’d just got it into my head that I’d turn up and she’d either be horrid, or tell me I wasn’t actually pregnant at all. I know I’m silly. Anyway, she was lovely and I felt comfortable round her straight away. I know she more than likely won’t be with it throughout, but I at least have her for the next few appointments.

We talked through any family history or any previous illnesses etc. Was nice to be able to say no to everything and go through it all nice and quickly, reminds me how lucky I am with my health. She weighed me (eek!), took my height and blood pressure, plus about twenty vials of blood leaving me with an attractive blue bruise. I thought M was going to pass out when I had my blood taken, further reminding me just how useless he will actually be at the main event! (Love you though x :P)

We were there for about an hour, going through the whole process and how often I will see her. My next appointment isn’t until 16 weeks, but my 12 week scan was booked for the 5th October. A week on Tuesday! Excited would be an understatement – I am bouncing off the walls.

So all in all, yesterday was a lovely day. I’m trying not to moan too much about pregnancy symptoms but I feel generally a bit down today. I’ve not slept for more than a few hours all week, and I just keep waking up in pain / to gag or just feel awful. I’m trying to stay positive but I really don’t cope well at all with lack of sleep. Today I just feel like I’ve been dredged up from the swamps and dressed like a human! Really looking forward to sleeping again, and feeling like a normal human being that can eat food at any time of the day, without having to consider if I’ll be sick. I hate moaning, but it’s so difficult to not get down about everything when it all seems so overwhelming.

Anyway, I’m lucky to have my health, and an amazingly supportive boyfriend! I think I’ll leave it there for now.

With love and light xo

10+2 - Aches

Damn, yesterday I spoke to soon - had a bowl of cornflakes this morning and proceeded to throw it all back up, plus my pint of orange juice – yum! However I was sat there with a smile on my face thinking – at least this is baby! Pregnancy makes you look at things in a very strange way…

Also had hip / knee / joint aches for the past few days which have been very frustrating. I’ve been trying to avoid tablets but I’ve taken one before work for the past few days just to take the edge off a little. I feel like my body is failing me! Also completely fed up of this lack of sleep. I’m so used to sleeping well and I guess I kind of took it for granted.

Midwife tomorrow though – hopefully will be able to ask her about paracetamol etc. No idea the kind of information she’s going to ask, or if it will be 5 mins or 45 minutes! Guess we’ll see tomorrow. Going straight back to work afterwards so hopefully she doesn’t take a pint of blood and make me pass out. Having a word with my boss later about the pregnancy which I’m more than a little nervous about.

In none baby related news I have no boiler! We thought just the on / off switch was broken as you had to hold it down to have any hot water, but when we fitted the new switch (£40!) it’s now not working at all. Hopefully having a plumber coming to look at it over the next few days to see if it can be an easy fix / faulty switch and if not we may have to call the gas board. Bad timing – but I suppose it can’t be helped.

This entry might sound very negative but I’m not – actually feeling super positive today! Everything will all work out, and the annoying symptoms are just a drop in the ocean compared to how lucky we are :)

With love and light xo

10+1 - Back To Reality

Back to proper teaching work this week, with students in and everything! All this is making me very tired – I can barely keep my eyes open by the time 2 rolls round. I’m looking forward to my 2nd trimester energy boost and I want it now! Also having very fitful and disturbed sleep – most likely due to worrying about work but I guess that could also be pregnancy. Having incredibly surreal dreams, lots involving spiders. Does this mean I’m having a spider?

Bean is apparently 2 inches now – which seems huge! Still can’t tell if I have bump or just podge from stopping climbing / eating whatever I feel like. I don’t want to become the size of a house but I also can only face certain food. Keep meaning to go swimming after work but really struggling with motivation – just soooo sleepy.

I don’t want to sound like I’m moaning – just want to keep a record of these things. I know how incredibly lucky we are! Sickness has pretty much stopped all together, feel slightly nauseas occasionally but nowhere near as bad. This still worries me but I think I’m always going to worry about something.

Still not thinking of names but a few have burrowed into my head. Only girls though, if it’s a boy it’s just not having a name. Or I’ll let M name it…

With love and light xo

10 - Bump Photo

10 weeks today! First picture - pretty sure it's just podge so I'm a little nervous to post. Back to proper work - tired and having tummy aches. Midwife soon so looking forward to that. Will update properly soon!

With love and light xo

9+4 - Worry!

So today I’ve woken up, and I don’t feel sick. I managed to eat a whole bowl of cereal without gagging. I managed to scrape things into the bin without gagging. I drove all the way to work without having to pull over. I thought I’d be celebrating, but instead I can’t stop convincing myself something’s wrong! I just want to have my scan and be reassured that everything’s okay. I don’t want to worry so much!

Watched “Cherry Has A Baby” last night and ended up crying several times! There was an amazing lady having a waterbirth using hypnobirthing techniques and she just had such a calm and relaxed birth. After a bit of research, I think it’s something I’d really like to look into, after realising it’s not really about the kind of hypnosis I imagined! I also think I’d really like to have a water birth – it’s something I need to look into at the hospital and see whether it’s something I could have there or at home.

One of the first lines from the show was “My name’s Cherry, and I got pregnant on the coil.” This seems to be everywhere now! I did a little more research last night, but my theory is that obviously people aren’t going to write about their coil working perfectly, so the results on the internet are rather skewed to reflect coil failure.

Had another deep sleep last night with crazy dreams – they seem to be much clearer than ever before. Last night was spiders and witches and holes in the ground! Spent some time reading through the baby names app on my phone before I went to bed and another name jumped out at me, but still have to run it past M. I have a feeling that he’ll hate it but I dreamed about it all night. I’m trying not to think about names till 20 weeks but it’s so difficult! I end up reading names on all the titles of TV shows and running them all through my mind. So far I like a grand total of 0 boys names, and a small handfull of girls names.

Finding writing in the blog very theraputic, so will hopefully carry on doing this. I don't know how much time I'll get when work kicks back in but we will see!

With love and light xo

9+3 - Introduction

Okay, so I’ve decided that I want some kind of record of this time in my life. I was trying super hard to wait until 12 weeks to start writing about it, but I just don’t want to forget all this feelings and thoughts I’m going through at the moment! I know how briefly these experiences will be around, and how fleeting these moments will be, so I want to try and keep a journal.

A brief introduction – my names Lizz and I’m 22. I live in Nottinghamshire, in a lovely little flat with my boyfriend and 2 kitty cats. They are amazing little fluff balls and I love them entirely! Obviously also love my fantastic boyfriend, who is incredibly supportive, funny and kind. :)

So I suppose now would be a good time to catch up with where I am now:

In August, I was a few days late. Without being too TMI about the whole thing, my coil ended up coming out at work, leading to mass panic and confusion on my part! I called NHS Direct from work in tears and eventually they explained sometimes this just happens, and not to worry but to take a pregnancy test just in case. I drove straight to Tesco on autopilot, and picked up a pack of tests, still expecting everything to be AOK. I drove straight home, again on autopilot, and took both tests – just for piece of mind really. I left them too it, and started putting washing away of all things! I went back a few minutes later, and both tests clearly displayed positive 2 – 3 weeks.

I don’t remember a whole lot of the next few hours, apart from lots of tears and discussions and more tears and more talking, and laying there thinking that whatever happened was going to affect every aspect of the rest of my life. We both eventually fell asleep knowing that everything was going to change.

And now here we are! Today I am 9+3 and completely comfortable and sure of the idea – we’re going to have a baby! Although this was completely unplanned (a surprise is the phrase I’m aiming for!) I think we’ve both come round to the idea much more. Obviously I can only speak for myself but personally, I feel that this is an amazing gift and was obviously meant to be. I'm a great believer in everything happening for a reason - I’ve always been a little odd, so why wouldn’t I be in the 0.8% of people! The more research I do, the more information I find out about coil failure. And I feel incredibly lucky that at least my coil came out – as removal can be quite dangerous for baby and me.

So that briefly brings us up to speed. I’ve had 2 scans at the Early Pregnancy Unit so far. The first was one to confirm “viability” because of the coil pregnancy – (the coil increases the risk of the pregnancy being ectopic). This was at about 6 weeks, and all we saw was a little bean. However we also saw a beautiful strong heartbeat. I’d like to say this was an amazing and life changing moment, but to be honest it was quite painful - I’d been told to have a full bladder and it was horrible having someone press and push upon it! However seeing bean in the right place was a massive relief, and for both of us I think it had a huge impact.

A few weeks later I had some bleeding, so after a tearful trip to casualty, and a horrid receptionist, I was scheduled for another early scan. This was a terrifying wait, and a horrible experience, but we got to see the baby again and thankfully all was well and baby measuring ahead of dates, taking me up to about 8 weeks.

Since then I’ve had a pretty textbook experience! Sickness, headaches, bloating and food aversions. However this week I actually don’t feel as bad – I haven’t been sick yet, and I mostly seem able to eat. I even managed breakfast this morning which was incredible! So fingers crossed I’m feeling okay. Just perpetually tired, but that could also be linked to the time of year, being busy at work and a busy birthday weekend.

All in all, I feel incredibly blessed to be in this position, and I’m really looking forward to being able to make notes to remind myself how I felt. My next milestone is my midwife appointment, followed hopefully by my scan a few weeks later. I’m trying not to stress about that, which I think is pretty much impossible, but I’m sure I’ll write about that soon! Also going to start taking pictures over the weekend so I can compare my expanding tummy!

With love and light xo