Only writing this stuff down so I don't forget it - may be TMI so don't read if you don't like gross stuff. After 2 kids I have lost my grossness filter so soz! That maybe means don't read if you don't like to hear anything about vaginas or the word cervix makes you feel a bit sick in your mouth.
Okay - yesterday was due date. Obviously I'm no medical professional but baby is still on the inside as opposed to the outside. This is the opposite side to what we're currently aiming for apparently. And this is the thing with babies - they kind of come when they're ready rather than when we're ready for them!
We're pretty much ready at home - anything that isn't done by now isn't going to get done. There's still some painting and stuff to sort from the downstairs remodel thing but I think anything that isn't finished now will be added to the list of things that will never get done. It's a long list.
Tuesday I had a scan as my bump had measured static for growth for a few weeks, after measuring 3/4 weeks ahead the whole way through. I was totally fine about this, until I woke up about 2am freaking out that I hadn't even thought about it and what if they decided to keep me in and deliver the baby that day. Much to everyone else's chagrin I'd not really got a hospital bag so I shoved some stuff in a carrier bag and called it quits.
Thankfully all was fine and baby measuring great. Violet was disappointed because she couldn't really see the baby so she got mostly bored of the scan. According to their measurements baby was weighing around 7lb 4oz but that's like trying to tell how much someone weighs by looking at their hat. I am still thinking over 9lb.
(TMI bit) - Yesterday had a sweep at the midwife - 1.5/2cm dilated and cervix moving down. All good things but mean not a lot really! Started to regret having it last night as as soon as I was putting kids to bed had a bit of a melt down.
Completely exhausted from the past few weeks where Violet has been ill constantly - sick / vomiting most days and we've just been a bit here there and everywhere. She's been absolutely foul and Alice has been feeding off that and we've just had 3 weeks of cleaning up sick and very little sleep. I've been waking up at 3am after about 3/4 hours fitful sleep and then we've had hospitals and doctors and appointments coming out our eyes. However - I'm going to regret writing this - as of the past few days I feel like we're hopefully moving onwards and upwards. No sickness these past few days and she's started tentatively eating bits again and being a bit more chirpy.
So add the worry of that to the sweep yesterday, then I spent all evening in pain but not a good contraction-y pain just an all over ache, and I broke. The girls were acting up at bed time due to a culmination of chosing the same book and me attempting to suggest Alice needed her toes cutting, until Mitch found me crying in their room with both of them trying to fit on the rocking chair with me. Happy times!
Buttttt, last night I managed to stay asleep until sunrise after a lovely massage. Pain stopped this morning. (TMI) Lost plug this morning which is a good thing but also can completely mean nothing at all! I've had a bit of a walk round this morning and currently writing this bouncing on the ball after mopping floors and making flapjack just incase. Today would be a good day for a baby!
With love and light xo
Showing posts with label Baby3. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby3. Show all posts
Friday, 15 July 2016
Monday, 20 June 2016
36+4 - Best thing to do when pregnant? Remodel your house.
Haven't updated for a while because it's all been a bit mental here!
This all began around 6 months ago when we talked about the possibility of getting a log burner. We've been thinking about it for a few years but I was adamant that in the small living room it would be stifling and pointless. Since Christmas this kind of progressed into knocking out a wall to make our dining room / kitchen merge, as the dining room before was a bit of a dead space.
To me, it's really important we have a table to sit and eat as a family as regularly as possible. In my head it's a time to sit around and talk about our days and have family time - although at the moment it's normally a bit of a battle ground between us vs. children. Still - perseverance is key and I'm adamant it's going to pay off! But other than that the dining room was basically just a corridor between the kitchen and living room.
This evolved into the idea of also having double doors into the garden so the kids can run round safely while I can still see them and do a few bits in the house. Especially with us having the baby so I'm going to be a little torn between the 3 of them.
Before -
The only time my brother could book us in was the past 2 weeks, or when the baby came. We decided the disruption was far better off in pregnancy than with a newborn, so that's what we did! We still have stuff left to do - painting the fresh plaster and putting up shelves / storage etc., but we are mostly done now. I'd like to say I've been super chilled and relaxed about the whole affair, but that would be a complete lie. I have cried and sulked and not slept and generally been a bit rubbish - but I can honestly say now it's coming together it was totally worth it.
During -
The house is more open, and there's so much more light. The kids have more room to play and run round, and they can go in the garden safely. We swapped the living room / dining room round so we sit so much further back from the road. It's just lovely and I'm so glad we did it. By we I mean all the other people while I've mostly just sat around and cried.
After - ish!
One thing we didn't anticipate which has made things a bit trickier is my SPD. I'm not going to dwell on it too much as I don't want to be negative, but it's rubbish. I can't really sleep; my walking speed is that of an injured snail; and I can't do lots of the things I feel I should be able to. It hurts and it's frustrating and I just want to be able to do everything and I can't.
I've had to finish work earlier than I'd planned to, as I was just coming home every evening unable to climb the stairs without crying; or having to work myself up to getting out the car as it hurt too much. I'm still struggling, but at home at least I'm able to get in more supportive positions, and I'm trying to lie down every day when Violet naps for an hour. I feel like I'm the least fun mum in the world at the moment, and I can't be who the girls deserve, and that sucks the most. But - not forever hopefully! Onwards and forwards - people have it much worse than I do.
Baby wise - I am 37 weeks on Thursday. I am not at all sorted. Everything has been so house focused but I'm hoping this is going to start to wind down this week and I can start sorting baby things! To be fair, we have bought most of the things; they're just in a massive pile in the cot and I'd like to have a sort out.
This week I need to get the birth pool out and inflate and check for punctures etc. I need to get a few more home birth bits and just get everything together. I think the idea of it all is a bit abstract at the moment - I'm hoping when I've sorted through those bits I start to feel a bit more prepared and focused and I can shift some mental energy onto the fact we will have another baby soon, as even typing that sentence out feels a little bit strange!
Alice has predicted the 1st July and completely refuses to deviate from this date. She was having a conversation with the baby earlier via my belly button, and apparently the baby was saying she is definitely coming on the 1st July and she is going to buy Alice a present. The girls also decided between them that the baby needs a birthday cake when she is born, but they will eat it for her.
The midwife is coming to the house on Wednesday to go through birth plan / home birth stuff. I was stressing about the plaster on the walls but I've decided she must have seen worse!
Alice is ridiculously excited and keeps talking about it. Violet has very much decided to ignore it, but either coincidentally or not has definitely started the "terrible twos" complete with shouting, tantrums and foot stamping this past few weeks. It's going to be a big transition for everyone and I'm just hoping we all make it through the other side!
We have had a few weeks nappy free though - potty trained Violet day and night! I can take 0 credit for it - we've been trying on and off for months and getting nowhere, and I thought I'd give it a proper go over half term. She just decided that the potty was now acceptable and just did it, and then refused to wear nappies at night either! So for this brief few weeks I am nappy free for the first time in 5 years!
Sorry this has been quite long and dull - basically there's nothing to report other than I crazily decided to rip my house apart at 8 months pregnant and I am the size of a small house! Hoping for a more restful few weeks before baby decides to make an arrival!
With love and light xo
This all began around 6 months ago when we talked about the possibility of getting a log burner. We've been thinking about it for a few years but I was adamant that in the small living room it would be stifling and pointless. Since Christmas this kind of progressed into knocking out a wall to make our dining room / kitchen merge, as the dining room before was a bit of a dead space.
To me, it's really important we have a table to sit and eat as a family as regularly as possible. In my head it's a time to sit around and talk about our days and have family time - although at the moment it's normally a bit of a battle ground between us vs. children. Still - perseverance is key and I'm adamant it's going to pay off! But other than that the dining room was basically just a corridor between the kitchen and living room.
This evolved into the idea of also having double doors into the garden so the kids can run round safely while I can still see them and do a few bits in the house. Especially with us having the baby so I'm going to be a little torn between the 3 of them.
Before -
The only time my brother could book us in was the past 2 weeks, or when the baby came. We decided the disruption was far better off in pregnancy than with a newborn, so that's what we did! We still have stuff left to do - painting the fresh plaster and putting up shelves / storage etc., but we are mostly done now. I'd like to say I've been super chilled and relaxed about the whole affair, but that would be a complete lie. I have cried and sulked and not slept and generally been a bit rubbish - but I can honestly say now it's coming together it was totally worth it.
During -
The house is more open, and there's so much more light. The kids have more room to play and run round, and they can go in the garden safely. We swapped the living room / dining room round so we sit so much further back from the road. It's just lovely and I'm so glad we did it. By we I mean all the other people while I've mostly just sat around and cried.
After - ish!
One thing we didn't anticipate which has made things a bit trickier is my SPD. I'm not going to dwell on it too much as I don't want to be negative, but it's rubbish. I can't really sleep; my walking speed is that of an injured snail; and I can't do lots of the things I feel I should be able to. It hurts and it's frustrating and I just want to be able to do everything and I can't.
I've had to finish work earlier than I'd planned to, as I was just coming home every evening unable to climb the stairs without crying; or having to work myself up to getting out the car as it hurt too much. I'm still struggling, but at home at least I'm able to get in more supportive positions, and I'm trying to lie down every day when Violet naps for an hour. I feel like I'm the least fun mum in the world at the moment, and I can't be who the girls deserve, and that sucks the most. But - not forever hopefully! Onwards and forwards - people have it much worse than I do.
Baby wise - I am 37 weeks on Thursday. I am not at all sorted. Everything has been so house focused but I'm hoping this is going to start to wind down this week and I can start sorting baby things! To be fair, we have bought most of the things; they're just in a massive pile in the cot and I'd like to have a sort out.
This week I need to get the birth pool out and inflate and check for punctures etc. I need to get a few more home birth bits and just get everything together. I think the idea of it all is a bit abstract at the moment - I'm hoping when I've sorted through those bits I start to feel a bit more prepared and focused and I can shift some mental energy onto the fact we will have another baby soon, as even typing that sentence out feels a little bit strange!
Alice has predicted the 1st July and completely refuses to deviate from this date. She was having a conversation with the baby earlier via my belly button, and apparently the baby was saying she is definitely coming on the 1st July and she is going to buy Alice a present. The girls also decided between them that the baby needs a birthday cake when she is born, but they will eat it for her.
The midwife is coming to the house on Wednesday to go through birth plan / home birth stuff. I was stressing about the plaster on the walls but I've decided she must have seen worse!
Alice is ridiculously excited and keeps talking about it. Violet has very much decided to ignore it, but either coincidentally or not has definitely started the "terrible twos" complete with shouting, tantrums and foot stamping this past few weeks. It's going to be a big transition for everyone and I'm just hoping we all make it through the other side!
We have had a few weeks nappy free though - potty trained Violet day and night! I can take 0 credit for it - we've been trying on and off for months and getting nowhere, and I thought I'd give it a proper go over half term. She just decided that the potty was now acceptable and just did it, and then refused to wear nappies at night either! So for this brief few weeks I am nappy free for the first time in 5 years!
Sorry this has been quite long and dull - basically there's nothing to report other than I crazily decided to rip my house apart at 8 months pregnant and I am the size of a small house! Hoping for a more restful few weeks before baby decides to make an arrival!
With love and light xo
Tuesday, 12 April 2016
26+5 - Pregnancy Update
Baby update time I suppose! 26+5 today, or around 6 months pregnant-ish as I’ve taken to telling people. I am massive. People feel the need to stop me in the supermarket and ask me if I’m due in the next few weeks or to see how many babies I’m going to have in this litter. This makes me feel so great about myself! In all seriousness though I’m massive. I’ve gained ridiculous amounts of weight, and although I feel incredibly blessed to have a healthy, lovely third baby growing, I do feel a bit like a whale already.
This is completely unfeminist / a bit gross of me, but I’ve already started to be anxious about how I’m going to look after. I feel like I managed to get to where I wanted to be health and body wise after 2, but 3 is completely pushing it right? I know all the things I’m supposed to say – 9 months on, nice months off etc. Andddd I’d rather have a ruined body and 3 beautiful girls. But, can I not just ask for both? And also to be able to eat all the biscuits all the time?
SPD wise – much of a muchness! I’ve been to physio a few times and got lots of exercises, support bands and things to do / not to do etc. I’m good at the exercises, but not good at following the “don’t do these things” advice apparently. Mitch assures me I’m a rubbish patient, but I just get anxious if things aren’t clean or sorted or organised. We did a big blitz on the house and garden at the weekend, with loads left to do but at least we’ve made a start. I need to start clearing the loft out and sorting out what we have / haven’t got. In short, hurting is rubbish and I’ve become super boring going to bed at 8pm every night with painkillers and a hot water bottle. Still, I’ve caught up on Grey’s Anatomy so lets look at the positives here!
I’ve started buying a few bits as I feel incredibly unorganised, and I need to clear out a drawer or 2 to shove the baby clothes in. I’ve started at least trying to round up the baby paraphernalia from it’s various places around the house and check what I need and make a list. A list always makes me feel better – it focuses my mind and I like putting ticks on things. I always add things to the list that I’ve already done so I can feel semi productive.
After much debate we bought a second hand double pushchair for the school run / longer journeys. Although Violet is more than capable of walking distances, it just depends if she decides that she wants to or not or if she just runs in random directions. We bought an Oyster Max, and I've just ordered a second hand carrycot for it too. The other pushchair is still ace so we'll probably keep that for when we want a single but nice to have the option.
Baby wise – there’s not much to tell! She is kicking up a storm which is always lovely, until the end when it’s not. We have reached the point where Mitch can no longer touch my stomach as it reminds him of the scene from Alien and makes him feel a bit sick. Alice loves touching the baby and singing songs to her, and she thinks my belly button is some sort of microphone extending into my uterus. I haven’t discouraged this belief.
She keeps telling me all the nice things she’s going to do with the baby, and how excited she is. She tells me that when the baby cries it means she is hungry and I must feed her and not to worry about Violet (or Vi as Alice calls her) as they will read books together on the sofa. Alice says we must make room in the bath for the baby and make sure she’s wrapped up lovely and warm when they get out the bath, unless the baby poos in which case everyone must jump out quickly. I’m not naïve enough to think that Alice will feel the same when baby is here, but it’s so lovely to have my big girl to share this all with.
Violet is mostly indifferent. I think she’s slightly concerned the baby will steal her dinner.
Alice would like to call the baby Rainbow Heart, and we’ve had a few little chats about how Rainbow is a lovely name but not quite for us. She has now compromised on the first name, but is adamant that Heart is a perfectly acceptable middle name.
Both girls are in agreement with the name we’ve chosen, and like to sing to her and talk to her. They both like looking at baby toys and clothes and would quite happily spend a small fortune on tiny things that are pink. Only pink though – if I suggest something else they both act completely outraged that I would ever consider placing a girl in something else.
This pregnancy is going incredibly fast. Honestly, if I could pause it and just soak up another year of being pregnant and spending time with my big girls then I would. But, I know we planned this gap for a reason. The girls are just absolute best friends now and just play together so beautifully. They make my life easier in that they like similar things; watch the same films; want to go to the same places. I know much bigger of a gap wouldn’t have worked for us, but at the same time I just want to soak up all the time I can with my favourite 2 people in the world.
In the same breath, I’m also incredibly excited to meet the next little piece to our puzzle, and see how they fit in to our already mental life. I’m looking forward to tiny baby snuggles, milky breath, soft hair, finger squeezes and us all getting to know each other. I’m apprehensive about lots of things, but overwhelmingly just excited.
With love and light xo
Tuesday, 12 January 2016
Dear Violet, Alice,and I guess extra baby?!
So it’s been forever and ever since I updated this as usual.
I feel like every time I blink something has changed and the girls are so much bigger and they are changing and growing and all I really want is to freeze this time where they are so little and I can keep them safe and I know exactly where they are all the time!
Little Violet,
I mentioned in the last post that your speech had finally started to develop - well now your speech is so much better! We have little sentences and you are so funny and know exactly what you want. “No mummy don’t silly”, and “Course I can” make me smile. You have a very Can Do attitude to anything I ask. Can you put this in the bin for me baby? “Course I can”. I think one of your hobbies is probably cleaning and tidying and putting things away. I have to hand you the items individually so you can put them in the bin.
We went to the hospital with your eye and you were actually amazing. Your vision is super poor and you need strong glasses, but you’ve massively took it in your stride. When we went to pick the glasses up you threw them on the floor and tried to stomp on them, so I thought we were in for a right battle. However since day 2 you’ve just realised you can see so much better with them and we never have a battle putting them on. They are super cute purple sparkly frozen ones and you look perfect in them. You’ve been back to hospital since and have been less impressed with the ophthalmologist trying to test you!
You still sleep super well – and still need a little nap in the day. We had a day last week where you missed the nap and were absolutely horrid for the rest of the day, so naps are hopefully around for the time being. You have never ever tried to get out of bed at night time, which is such a contrast to Alice! Soon you are (hopefully) going to start sharing a room with your sister in the bottom bunk and I’m really hoping that won’t affect your lovely sleep!
We’ve had a couple of false starts and attempts with potty training. You aren’t a fan at the moment and I’m trying not to push it. You pooed on the floor next to the potty so I put it in the potty and cheered and you were inconsolable for about 20 minutes. You like sitting on the potty and asking for a smartie and that’s as interested as you get. Alice now asks for a smartie when she goes to the toilet too, and I’m having to disappoint her that it can’t happen as a grown up!
You are so incredibly physical! You love jumping and climbing and getting yourself into danger. Over Christmas we went to Sherwood Pines and you were really in your element – you’re so strong and good at ladders and climbing and you show literally 0 fear. You love jumping and running round. I need to make more of an effort to take you swimming as we’ve not been in forever and I bet you would love it.
You still love to potter and play nicely – you like Happyland and Peppa Pig toys and making them all play and talk to each other. Your farm animals all make noises then they have to go inside the barn when it’s raining and you’re just so independent with it.
Everyone always comments on how sweet natured and lovely you are and it’s so true – but you’ve definitely started terrible 2’s and showing us when you’re unhappy. You stomp your feet and cry and throw things. When you cry your tears get trapped in your glasses and it’s the saddest thing in the world!
My Alice Palace,
You are so grown up now. I literally would freeze you at this age forever and keep you in my pocket. Last night I wasn’t feeling great after work so I had a bath and you asked if you could sit with me and help. You washed my hair, scrubbed my back, stroked my tummy then told me stories. I could have cried. You kept asking what else you could do to help and it just made me appreciate what a sweet, lovely little girl you are now.
You can now read and it’s just amazing! It’s just like it’s clicked all of a sudden and you are reading and spelling things out constantly. You read your school book to me and Violet most nights and I can practically hear the cogs whizzing when you get to a word where you’re stuck and sounding it out. The other day we went to nannys and granddads and their TV wasn’t working – you pointed at the screen and said “does that say communicating with networks”. It did.
You were an angel in your school nativity and it’s one of the best things I have ever seen in my life. You were a real Kate Bush angel and you stood on your own pretty much dancing up a storm and singing to yourself. You cried when I left and it was the saddest angel in the world!
However, alongside being super sweet you have definitely mastered the eye roll / sass! We have loooads less tantrums than we did, but you love to roll your eyes and sigh dramatically at me like I am the worst person in the world. It’s so difficult not to laugh when you’re having a total drama melt down because I brought the wrong pyjamas but it happens much less frequently now and on the whole you’re pretty reasonable.
At night time I take you upstairs and lie with you for 5 minutes and you tell me about your day. You tell me if you’re scared or happy or what happened at school and I could snuggle up to you forever. Slight problem in that I pretty much nearly fall asleep most nights but hey! I don’t think I’ll fit in your top bunk so I’ll miss the snuggles, although I do envision some sneaky stair climbing when I inevitably do try and sneak out the top of your bunk bed.
You’ve finally stopped with the 5.30 get ups, and I’m hoping 6.30 has settled down a bit. We’ve bribed you for a while and you can now play iPad for 30 mins in the morning if you have your uniform on, and I honestly couldn’t care if that’s awful parenting but we all neeeeed to not be getting up before 6am!
So – both of you. We’ve obviously looked at our lives and decided we are getting far too much sleep and life is far too simple (ha!) and decided to have another baby! I am well aware this is mental, but I love you guys so much that I can’t imagine not sharing all the love with have with just one more little person.
Violet has absolutely no idea what’s going on. If you ask what’s in mummy’s tummy she says “sister” but that’s about it. But Alice is so incredibly aware and asks about it most days. When she snuggles up to me at night she asks how baby is and tries to talk to them! However the slight issue is that Alice doesn’t want a brother. Like she’s not mentioned it in passing – every day. She refuses to entertain the idea that this baby might be a boy. If you say it might be a boy, she just replied “it might be a girl.” I’ve read books, looked at pictures, looked through names with her, and she just refuses to believe it might be a boy.
We said to Alice if it’s a boy we can go shopping and buy some toys or clothes. “Mummy if it’s a boy I won’t buy it anything or play with it or love it.” Woops!
So, this is my excuse for buying an early scan off Groupon – and I’m taking Alice with me! I’m hoping seeing the baby might soften the blow a little bit and she can maybe bond a little? Here’s the plan! Plus it’s just an excuse and I’m desperate to know!
Everyone knows and has had to for quite a while. Mostly because even though I’m 13 weeks I’m the size of a 6 month pregnant lady, and secondly we had a bit of drama at the beginning with bleeding and scans etc. so had to tell a few more people. Here’s hoping for a drama free next 6 months.
I am tired and achey but I know I’m incredibly lucky. My sickness has hopefully stopped for a while, and I'd reeeally like it if that stayed away as I was super miserable. I’d like to try and blog a bit more through the pregnancy again but I’ll probably post again in 6 months time when baby is here. Oh well!
With love and light xo
I feel like every time I blink something has changed and the girls are so much bigger and they are changing and growing and all I really want is to freeze this time where they are so little and I can keep them safe and I know exactly where they are all the time!
Little Violet,
I mentioned in the last post that your speech had finally started to develop - well now your speech is so much better! We have little sentences and you are so funny and know exactly what you want. “No mummy don’t silly”, and “Course I can” make me smile. You have a very Can Do attitude to anything I ask. Can you put this in the bin for me baby? “Course I can”. I think one of your hobbies is probably cleaning and tidying and putting things away. I have to hand you the items individually so you can put them in the bin.
We went to the hospital with your eye and you were actually amazing. Your vision is super poor and you need strong glasses, but you’ve massively took it in your stride. When we went to pick the glasses up you threw them on the floor and tried to stomp on them, so I thought we were in for a right battle. However since day 2 you’ve just realised you can see so much better with them and we never have a battle putting them on. They are super cute purple sparkly frozen ones and you look perfect in them. You’ve been back to hospital since and have been less impressed with the ophthalmologist trying to test you!
We’ve had a couple of false starts and attempts with potty training. You aren’t a fan at the moment and I’m trying not to push it. You pooed on the floor next to the potty so I put it in the potty and cheered and you were inconsolable for about 20 minutes. You like sitting on the potty and asking for a smartie and that’s as interested as you get. Alice now asks for a smartie when she goes to the toilet too, and I’m having to disappoint her that it can’t happen as a grown up!
You are so incredibly physical! You love jumping and climbing and getting yourself into danger. Over Christmas we went to Sherwood Pines and you were really in your element – you’re so strong and good at ladders and climbing and you show literally 0 fear. You love jumping and running round. I need to make more of an effort to take you swimming as we’ve not been in forever and I bet you would love it.
You still love to potter and play nicely – you like Happyland and Peppa Pig toys and making them all play and talk to each other. Your farm animals all make noises then they have to go inside the barn when it’s raining and you’re just so independent with it.
Everyone always comments on how sweet natured and lovely you are and it’s so true – but you’ve definitely started terrible 2’s and showing us when you’re unhappy. You stomp your feet and cry and throw things. When you cry your tears get trapped in your glasses and it’s the saddest thing in the world!
My Alice Palace,
You are so grown up now. I literally would freeze you at this age forever and keep you in my pocket. Last night I wasn’t feeling great after work so I had a bath and you asked if you could sit with me and help. You washed my hair, scrubbed my back, stroked my tummy then told me stories. I could have cried. You kept asking what else you could do to help and it just made me appreciate what a sweet, lovely little girl you are now.
You can now read and it’s just amazing! It’s just like it’s clicked all of a sudden and you are reading and spelling things out constantly. You read your school book to me and Violet most nights and I can practically hear the cogs whizzing when you get to a word where you’re stuck and sounding it out. The other day we went to nannys and granddads and their TV wasn’t working – you pointed at the screen and said “does that say communicating with networks”. It did.
You were an angel in your school nativity and it’s one of the best things I have ever seen in my life. You were a real Kate Bush angel and you stood on your own pretty much dancing up a storm and singing to yourself. You cried when I left and it was the saddest angel in the world!
However, alongside being super sweet you have definitely mastered the eye roll / sass! We have loooads less tantrums than we did, but you love to roll your eyes and sigh dramatically at me like I am the worst person in the world. It’s so difficult not to laugh when you’re having a total drama melt down because I brought the wrong pyjamas but it happens much less frequently now and on the whole you’re pretty reasonable.
At night time I take you upstairs and lie with you for 5 minutes and you tell me about your day. You tell me if you’re scared or happy or what happened at school and I could snuggle up to you forever. Slight problem in that I pretty much nearly fall asleep most nights but hey! I don’t think I’ll fit in your top bunk so I’ll miss the snuggles, although I do envision some sneaky stair climbing when I inevitably do try and sneak out the top of your bunk bed.
You’ve finally stopped with the 5.30 get ups, and I’m hoping 6.30 has settled down a bit. We’ve bribed you for a while and you can now play iPad for 30 mins in the morning if you have your uniform on, and I honestly couldn’t care if that’s awful parenting but we all neeeeed to not be getting up before 6am!
So – both of you. We’ve obviously looked at our lives and decided we are getting far too much sleep and life is far too simple (ha!) and decided to have another baby! I am well aware this is mental, but I love you guys so much that I can’t imagine not sharing all the love with have with just one more little person.
Violet has absolutely no idea what’s going on. If you ask what’s in mummy’s tummy she says “sister” but that’s about it. But Alice is so incredibly aware and asks about it most days. When she snuggles up to me at night she asks how baby is and tries to talk to them! However the slight issue is that Alice doesn’t want a brother. Like she’s not mentioned it in passing – every day. She refuses to entertain the idea that this baby might be a boy. If you say it might be a boy, she just replied “it might be a girl.” I’ve read books, looked at pictures, looked through names with her, and she just refuses to believe it might be a boy.
We said to Alice if it’s a boy we can go shopping and buy some toys or clothes. “Mummy if it’s a boy I won’t buy it anything or play with it or love it.” Woops!
So, this is my excuse for buying an early scan off Groupon – and I’m taking Alice with me! I’m hoping seeing the baby might soften the blow a little bit and she can maybe bond a little? Here’s the plan! Plus it’s just an excuse and I’m desperate to know!
Everyone knows and has had to for quite a while. Mostly because even though I’m 13 weeks I’m the size of a 6 month pregnant lady, and secondly we had a bit of drama at the beginning with bleeding and scans etc. so had to tell a few more people. Here’s hoping for a drama free next 6 months.
I am tired and achey but I know I’m incredibly lucky. My sickness has hopefully stopped for a while, and I'd reeeally like it if that stayed away as I was super miserable. I’d like to try and blog a bit more through the pregnancy again but I’ll probably post again in 6 months time when baby is here. Oh well!
With love and light xo
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