Having a bit of a wobble today. I thought I might go overdue, and I thought I might even make it to 10 days like Violet, but I'm sort of in unchartered territory for myself now.
Woke up at 3am checking and rechecking all my facts with regards to NICE Guidlelines for induction, AIMS, research on pros and cons of induction and just generally the next steps moving forwards. I've agreed to go in and have the baby monitored tomorrow for half an hour at +12 days, then we will take it from there. I'm guessing they're going to suggest induction at +14 days and I'm going to push for monitoring again, and we will take it from there.
It's in no way that I don't want this baby out (dear God do I want this baby out right now!), but at the moment for me the risks of induction far outweigh any risks of keeping the baby in. Baby is currently happy, heart beat fine, moving fine etc. Obviously if anything weren't right I would reconsider, but research has shown that induction leads to intervention in 2/3 of births. Something like 1/5 of inductions end in caesarian and that's just not a route I can go down with the 2 other kids at home to look after!
So at the moment I'm happy to delay induction till at least 15 days over - where I wobble is homebirth at +15. At the moment I'm kind of thinking that that's a bridge we will just have to cross and evaluate when we get there. No point worrying about that just yet!
I've been trying so hard to be super positive and take a very much "baby will come when she's ready" approach, but today I just hurt and I'm tired and I'm sore from yet another sweep (Sweep number 4. Ouch.) and I just feel like this is never going to happen. Realistically I know that's not the case but I'm just so uncomfortable and fed up of being on edge all the time reading into each little twinge and trying to decide if they mean anything.
Saturday after sweep number 3 I started having regular tightenings / pains around 3ish and they carried on and off until 7/8. Every 10 mins like clockwork. We sent the kids for a sleepover and I honestly thought things were happening but was trying not to get excited. Nothing! Every night I get contractions it seems, and they just fizzle out to nothing. I've had this on and off for weeks and I'm a bit worried I'm not going to recognise the real thing till late. Realistically I know that won't happen, but it does add a bit of a "fun" element to arranging childcare / filling pool etc.
We have a birth pool inflated in our dining room and I've given up putting it up and down! It is currently just a design feature of our house. I found I can't sleep without it up as I constantly dream of going into labour and not having anything ready.
Trying to make sure the house is always clean, tidy and birth ready is a bit of a pain in the arse too. I mean we don't exactly live in squalor normally but I'm so done with trying to live in a show room! Especially when pretty much everything hurts right now.
Right - moan done! I need to suck it up and crack on. Baby will be here soon and I am incredibly lucky to be in this position. Everyone is healthy and this time next week I would assume we will have a baby. Onwards and upwards!
With love and light xo
Monday 25 July 2016
Friday 15 July 2016
40+1
Only writing this stuff down so I don't forget it - may be TMI so don't read if you don't like gross stuff. After 2 kids I have lost my grossness filter so soz! That maybe means don't read if you don't like to hear anything about vaginas or the word cervix makes you feel a bit sick in your mouth.
Okay - yesterday was due date. Obviously I'm no medical professional but baby is still on the inside as opposed to the outside. This is the opposite side to what we're currently aiming for apparently. And this is the thing with babies - they kind of come when they're ready rather than when we're ready for them!
We're pretty much ready at home - anything that isn't done by now isn't going to get done. There's still some painting and stuff to sort from the downstairs remodel thing but I think anything that isn't finished now will be added to the list of things that will never get done. It's a long list.
Tuesday I had a scan as my bump had measured static for growth for a few weeks, after measuring 3/4 weeks ahead the whole way through. I was totally fine about this, until I woke up about 2am freaking out that I hadn't even thought about it and what if they decided to keep me in and deliver the baby that day. Much to everyone else's chagrin I'd not really got a hospital bag so I shoved some stuff in a carrier bag and called it quits.
Thankfully all was fine and baby measuring great. Violet was disappointed because she couldn't really see the baby so she got mostly bored of the scan. According to their measurements baby was weighing around 7lb 4oz but that's like trying to tell how much someone weighs by looking at their hat. I am still thinking over 9lb.
(TMI bit) - Yesterday had a sweep at the midwife - 1.5/2cm dilated and cervix moving down. All good things but mean not a lot really! Started to regret having it last night as as soon as I was putting kids to bed had a bit of a melt down.
Completely exhausted from the past few weeks where Violet has been ill constantly - sick / vomiting most days and we've just been a bit here there and everywhere. She's been absolutely foul and Alice has been feeding off that and we've just had 3 weeks of cleaning up sick and very little sleep. I've been waking up at 3am after about 3/4 hours fitful sleep and then we've had hospitals and doctors and appointments coming out our eyes. However - I'm going to regret writing this - as of the past few days I feel like we're hopefully moving onwards and upwards. No sickness these past few days and she's started tentatively eating bits again and being a bit more chirpy.
So add the worry of that to the sweep yesterday, then I spent all evening in pain but not a good contraction-y pain just an all over ache, and I broke. The girls were acting up at bed time due to a culmination of chosing the same book and me attempting to suggest Alice needed her toes cutting, until Mitch found me crying in their room with both of them trying to fit on the rocking chair with me. Happy times!
Buttttt, last night I managed to stay asleep until sunrise after a lovely massage. Pain stopped this morning. (TMI) Lost plug this morning which is a good thing but also can completely mean nothing at all! I've had a bit of a walk round this morning and currently writing this bouncing on the ball after mopping floors and making flapjack just incase. Today would be a good day for a baby!
With love and light xo
Okay - yesterday was due date. Obviously I'm no medical professional but baby is still on the inside as opposed to the outside. This is the opposite side to what we're currently aiming for apparently. And this is the thing with babies - they kind of come when they're ready rather than when we're ready for them!
We're pretty much ready at home - anything that isn't done by now isn't going to get done. There's still some painting and stuff to sort from the downstairs remodel thing but I think anything that isn't finished now will be added to the list of things that will never get done. It's a long list.
Tuesday I had a scan as my bump had measured static for growth for a few weeks, after measuring 3/4 weeks ahead the whole way through. I was totally fine about this, until I woke up about 2am freaking out that I hadn't even thought about it and what if they decided to keep me in and deliver the baby that day. Much to everyone else's chagrin I'd not really got a hospital bag so I shoved some stuff in a carrier bag and called it quits.
Thankfully all was fine and baby measuring great. Violet was disappointed because she couldn't really see the baby so she got mostly bored of the scan. According to their measurements baby was weighing around 7lb 4oz but that's like trying to tell how much someone weighs by looking at their hat. I am still thinking over 9lb.
(TMI bit) - Yesterday had a sweep at the midwife - 1.5/2cm dilated and cervix moving down. All good things but mean not a lot really! Started to regret having it last night as as soon as I was putting kids to bed had a bit of a melt down.
Completely exhausted from the past few weeks where Violet has been ill constantly - sick / vomiting most days and we've just been a bit here there and everywhere. She's been absolutely foul and Alice has been feeding off that and we've just had 3 weeks of cleaning up sick and very little sleep. I've been waking up at 3am after about 3/4 hours fitful sleep and then we've had hospitals and doctors and appointments coming out our eyes. However - I'm going to regret writing this - as of the past few days I feel like we're hopefully moving onwards and upwards. No sickness these past few days and she's started tentatively eating bits again and being a bit more chirpy.
So add the worry of that to the sweep yesterday, then I spent all evening in pain but not a good contraction-y pain just an all over ache, and I broke. The girls were acting up at bed time due to a culmination of chosing the same book and me attempting to suggest Alice needed her toes cutting, until Mitch found me crying in their room with both of them trying to fit on the rocking chair with me. Happy times!
Buttttt, last night I managed to stay asleep until sunrise after a lovely massage. Pain stopped this morning. (TMI) Lost plug this morning which is a good thing but also can completely mean nothing at all! I've had a bit of a walk round this morning and currently writing this bouncing on the ball after mopping floors and making flapjack just incase. Today would be a good day for a baby!
With love and light xo
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