We are now a 5! I have been trying to find time to write everything down and obviously forgotten that time is a limited quantity in the school holidays with a new born. I can't seem to find 5 minutes to shower let alone write an eloquent and appropriate description of our life and a birth; but I suppose we've got to start somewhere.
Also apologies if this makes little to no sense, I've written this over the period of over a month during the small periods of time I can snatch here and there so there may be little continuity.
Our smallest little person was born a few hours after my last post where I was having a rough time. I felt absolutely rotten all afternoon after having a fourth sweep and just felt awful. I wasn't contracting or having any sort of useful pain, I just felt like absolute rubbish. Stomach ace, sickness, heavy limbs and just a general feeling of malaise.
We had plans to have friends over for chilli (sorry guys!) but I cancelled 5 minutes before because the idea of seeing people and having to pretend to be social and nice just made me feel horrid. I paced the garden a bit, I tried to tidy the house, I just couldn't settle anywhere. I was feeling incredibly down and rubbish - in hindsight things were probably starting to move but I didn't know this at the time! I had some quick food, and gave up for the day telling Mitch I'd see him in the morning when I'd still be pregnant.
Around 9pm I tried to go up to bed, but just couldn't settle and tossed and turned while Mitch was downstairs. I pottered round our room a bit but just read and tried to get to sleep, till 10pm when I sat upright in bed and felt a trickle. I hobbled to the bathroom and made sure I definitely wasn't imagining things / had wet myself and came downstairs to tell Mitch not to worry / rush but my waters had started to go.
10.15 - Mitch practically forced me to call the labour ward, as I was just going to head back to bed and try and get some more sleep. I gave them a quick call and felt really silly - "Hi, I'm not in labour but it's my third baby and my waters have started and I'll call you back later". I was incredibly glad I'd called them then!
I started to get a few pains around 10.30pm, coming every 2-3 minutes, lasting 30-45 seconds ish. I think I gave my mum a heads up and mentioned things were starting but no rush? I can't remember. Mitch also insisted on starting to set up the room / fill the pool, again despite my insistence things were going to be hours and it was going to be a waste.
10.45pm - pains still coming every 2-3 minutes. Hurting and having to stop and breathe through and focus. Gave the hospital a call to tell them to please send someone soon. They told me they'd sent someone out following my first call (so glad of this!) and they should be there in the next 30 minutes as they were coming from Hucknall.
11.00/11.15 ish - still every 2 minutes. The pool was still filling and I was getting quite frustrated it wasn't filling quickly enough and I remember doing quite a lot of pacing and breathing and holding on to the pillars. The midwife arrived and checked me and baby over in between contractions, all was okay. I had to decide if I wanted her to check how far along I was, and I was terrified she was going to check and I'd be 3cm still and have hours left to go. I was 5cm dilated - not the worst but not great. At this point I'm thinking I'm in for a long night but try not to take it to heart and jump back up, as contractions on my back / lying down were the worst.
During each contraction I'm trying to focus on breathing, swaying, and keeping my fingers and face nice and relaxed. They seem to be coming very quickly and strongly, so I decide to jump in the pool while it's still filling just to see if it helps - I figure if it slows the labour down so be it, but at least it will give me some pain relief. I think around 11.30 I jump in the water and immediately feel more supported, calmer, and much more focused and in control. I can breathe through each contraction and move around more freely - the SPD was really stopping me from getting "comfortable" before, whereas in the water I could listen to my body.
11.45 I think the second midwife arrives and I struggle to even acknowledge her arrival as I pretty much tell them I'm pushing and the baby is coming. I remember this being the most intense / painful pushing stage of any labour I've had. I know it was super quick but I just remember feeling like I was being pulled apart by horses and asking for gas an air to be reminded it was a little too late for such things! She arrived into the pool at 11.57, in my lovely calm house surrounded by people who loved her!
I love home birth. I jumped out after and had pop and toast on my sofa while everyone busied themselves doing all the bits they needed to and I got into my comfy lovely bed to snuggle up with everyone. I felt empowered, strong and calm through the whole situation because I knew I was in my safe happy place and I was free to move and do as I pleased!
Although this was the most painful labour (despite being the shortest!), the difference between pre-labour with the SPD and a few days later was just incredible, and now I am 100%. I literally cannot believe how quickly it changed and I'm so glad to be feeling physically back to normal as I thought there was no way I'd ever be the same again!
She is now 7 weeks and it's all been a bit mental. She was born on the first day of the school holidays which basically meant I got 2 days to get my shit together then we had to hit the ground running! She has been carted to Wheelgate, Center Parcs, pretty much every park near us, and here there and everywhere. The 6 weeks holiday was pretty exhausting for us all but I consider myself pretty lucky to have been able to do so much. I'll sleep when I'm dead right?
I can't decide who she is yet - she's not a Violet and not an Alice and she seems pretty in the middle so far. She doesn't scream and scream like Alice did, but she's definitely not as chill as V. I guess she's a little Meredith and she needs to decide for herself. She looks like neither of them and she has beautiful golden curls. I can't imagine a time when she wasn't in our lives.
With love and light xo