Monday, 5 January 2015

Dear Alice and Violet - 45 months and 16 months!

Jeeeez have I really not blogged since October? How on earth did I not notice that! Life seems to be going about amillion miles an hour lately. It’s not that things haven’t happened, I just haven’t really thought to write about it.

We’ve just had a lovely (and exhausting?) couple of weeks off for Christmas with the kidlets. It was absolutely the best Christmas ever. To be able to feel Alice’s excitement when it came to arranging the carrot for Rudolph and the cookies – she insisted on baking gingerbread – for santa, was just amazing. And by feel I mean actually feel - she was physically shaking with excitement a lot of the time! Every morning on the way up to Christmas I would wake up to an Alice 2 inches from my face saying “9 days to go mummy”. Slightly adorable, slightly terrifying.

The girls were so incredibly behaved over Christmas day. I’d prepared myself for some epic breakdowns over sharing presents and over excitement, but they were beautiful. They played, and shared, and were both just so so happy. It helped that we were at home I think, and they could play with their own stuff, but they were lovely.

So, time for a bit of a catch up.

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Dear Alice, you are now 45 months old.

You are so tall and slender now! You would survive pretty much on snacks and air given the opportunity, so it can be a bit of a battle at tea time. We’re currently we’re just going with – here is your food. If you do not eat it, you will be hungry. You don’t really eat much meat, you would survive entirely on green beans and corny cob given half the chance I’m sure.

You love nursery. You love the social aspect, and seeing all your friends. You love running round like a crazy person. You are learning so much every day, and when you come home you are just shattered. You told me a few weeks ago that your full name had 7 syllables and then proceeded to clap it out for me. You are constantly correcting me (“Mummy don’t be silly, that is not true”) and telling me all the exciting things you have learned. I am so happy you like it and it’s a pleasure to see you grow. I love the nursery, and I think your teacher is brilliant.

Just before Christmas was your school nativity, where you were a twinkly star. Watching you stood there singing Away In A Manager was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I am so incredibly glad that I could be there. The last week at nursery, you did the panto, 2 lots of nativity, nursery party, and Santa came in. You were shattered and grumpy, but I know you had a lovely time.

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The past few weeks you’ve improved your pen control (“pinchy parrot”!) and now write and draw beautifully. I love the imagination and thought that goes into your drawings. This morning before school you drew me, daddy, baby Violet and Amelia, and it’s the nicest picture ever. Unfortunately you did draw it red pen on red paper so it’s a little difficult to photograph / see but I know it’s there! You wrote beautiful placecards on Christmas day for everyone, and you insisted on writing all your own Christmas cards this year.

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You are so good at singing and dancing and you are always telling me “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the show is about to begin” followed by 25 minutes of twirling and leg pointing. You got a few more dressing up clothes for Christmas and often the show requires a costume change. You will refuse any help, and currently want to get dressed on your own every day. Pants took 30 minutes last week, but you did tell me that pants were tricky.

22.11.2014 #project365 #365lizz 22.11.2014 - "Come on mummy" #project365 #365lizz

The past few weeks at home with everyone you have been lovely, with patches of crazy. You still wake up at 6 / 6.30, so by the evening you are just shattered and grumpy. The one person you always have time for is Violet, although you’ve taken to calling her Cubby or Vi. You love her to pieces, as long as she’s not trying to use the toy your currently using. Which is 98% of the time. I love seeing you chase each other round and tickle chase, it really makes my heart sore, but my ears hurt!

Crufts again. 28.10.2014 #project365 #365lizz

You've taken to wanting to perform a Crufts like routine every evening where you have to jump through the hoop - both of you. I have no idea where you got this from but it keeps you occupied for hours. I'm thinking if we can work up to lighting the hoop perhaps we'll get on Britains Got Talent?

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It snowed too! You loved the snow and made a snowman called Snowy but then you got cold and I made chicken soup and it was the wrong kind of chicken soup.

Love you pudding cup!


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Baby Violet you are now 16 months old, and it’s fair to say you are a chunky monkey. You will eat anything and everything that isn’t nailed down. Last night you stole and apple off your sister and ate the whole thing behind the sofa – core and all. This was maybe an hour after a Sunday dinner, and a whole orange for pudding. You are a lovely cuddly eating machine!

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You completely dote on your big sister, and want to follow her round, do whatever she’s doing and basically be her shadow. Your favourite thing to play with is Alice’s pushchair and your little babies you got for Christmas. You sit them in the highchair with you and you feed them and blow on their food – it is literally the nicest thing I’ve ever seen. You normally carry 2 babies round with you ,1 under each arm. You push round and snuggle them and tuck them into bed with their bottles – aww!

We went to Wheelgate the other day and you went on the train with me for the first time! I forget how big you are getting, in my head you’re still super tiny but you are running round and playing games now. You run really quickly, and have completely changed shaped from a baby to getting to be a toddler.

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You just want to be involved in anything with people. You are still very content and happy, but have had a few tantrums these past few weeks! One lasted 45 minutes, because I wouldn’t let you have the toilet brush. You do have a completely different personality to Alice though – you’re more wary of new people and new places. You want to be snuggled and hugged and carried much more, and you want to care for things. Alice always (and still does) just goes in headfirst, where you like to take a step back and assess what’s going on.

Although you don’t say much more, we know what you mean now. You make the right noises, and point at the right things. You could read books for hours, just changing the pages and pointing at all the pictures. You love pop up books – “there it is!”, and finding the bear.

You have gone back to waking up in the night most nights for some milk, which is frustrating!! We can’t possibly feed you any more, but if we don’t take you milk you just shout for hours! Cuddles won’t do – you are hangry! A bit wearing, but not forever I suppose. Hopefully.

You change so much every day, and I do love my girls. Best Christmas ever, and here's to many more of the same.

With love and light xo

Tuesday, 7 October 2014

Dear Alice and Violet - 42 Months and 13 Months

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Dear Alice,

You are now 42 months old. I had only just added that up and it’s a bit mental really. What did we do without you?

A few weeks ago you started nursery school every morning for 3 hours. The first few days you were absolutely fine but then had a bit of a melt down and had a week of pulling my leg and screaming and crying. It was very difficult to leave you and there were a few tears shed by everyone, but now it is your favourite place in the world!

You love spending time with Phoebe and Amelia at nursery. You’ve told me you don’t play with the boys as they pinch your nose. Fair enough!

You are so funny to talk to! Last week mama told you to just have a sit down for 5 mins, to which you responded “It’s not all about you you know mama.” You told me there was a “right palava” at nursery at snack time! You asked if we could do a "sophie" on the train. Turns out you meant selfie! Happy to oblige - see below!

Gorge! Train selfie

At the weekend, Violet wasn’t very well so I took you to Wheelgate on the Sunday to get out for a few hours, just the 2 of us. It was so nice to spend time just with you and I must make more of an effort to. We go to ballet on a Saturday, but that’s just you and it was nice to spend some mummy-Alice time!

You want to play hide and seek all the time. This morning you informed me your name wasn’t Alice, and refused to respond to anything other than “Hidey Worm”.

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It's getting closer to Halloween, which I think may be your favourite time of the year? You are a little obsessed with "spooky things" like witches and bats etc. Most mornings after breakfast you're allowed 10 minutes on the iPad while we clear up, and you always request spooky videos. At Wheelgate they had halloween things everywhere, and you insisted on having your picture taken with every single monster. Even though they were mostly the same!

We went to Rufford a few weeks ago, and it was a wartime / vintage weekend. Punch and Judy were there, which you completely loved. Apart from the fact you call it Punch and Julie. And it had Hitler in who you keep asking me about which is a little awkward!

You like to cuddle up in bed and hide every night before bathtime, and every time I try to cuddle you extra tight because you seem to be getting so big - physically and mentally. You can read letters, count to 100 with help, and you are just not even a toddler anymore. I'd like to keep you at this age forever please!


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Dear Violet,

You are now 13 months old, and the squidgiest cutest little bundle in the entire world.

You aren’t walking yet, and I was so sure you would be soon! Mama is buying you your first shoes for your birthday and at this rate it will be Christmas! I just looked back through the blog and apparently Alice didn’t walk till 14 /15 months so you’re taking after your sister. You cruise round the house, and want to walk holding people’s hands constantly. You’ve taken a few odd steps, but don’t seem super bothered.

Talking-wise you're still saying "t" for ta, "b" for ball, but my fave is "row row" and then you rock backwards and forwards, then scream for the crocodile! It is literally the most adorable thing in the entire world.

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I’m really struggling being at work and leaving you so much, well both of you. I feel like I don’t get the time to spend with my little baby who won’t be a baby for much longer, and that’s difficult.

04.10.2014 #project365 #365lizz 25.09.2014 #365lizz #project365

You’ve been full of cold for the past few days, and really unhappy and off your food. You spent all Saturday curled up on the sofa with me in and out of sleep. I think part of it is the cold, and the other part is that you’re cutting 6 teeth at the same time. It’s hard because I’m so used to seeing you eat more than Alice, and to see you refusing food and crying is just so out of character for you.

Both of you are absolutely lovely! Just wishing at the moment I could spend more time with the both of you. I feel like I'm never going to regret being skint, but every day I regret being away from my little ones.

 With love and light xo

Sunday, 7 September 2014

Happy (Almost!) Birthday Baby Violet

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Just a quick one tonight as I might not get chance tomorrow. But, Happy Birthday to my sweet Baby Violet!

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This time last year, I was trying to decide if my waters had broken, and having a wander round the block to try and make something happen. I walked up to my mum and dads, and Alice had gone off to  Mitch's mum and dads for a sleepover incase something did happen. We walked through the forest, and it was a day exactly like today. Warm, golden, and completely calm.

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(Above picture taken 3 hours before baby was born!)

This time last year, I was so worried. Worried about logistical things - I was super overdue and trying to argue against induction. Worried about my home birth I so desperately wanted. Absolutely worried about my little (or not so little!) baby, and worried about my big Alice and how she would cope with the changes.

I wish I could say I'm not worried right now, but I think that is a constant as a parent!!

But, I no longer have to worry about how I could possibly love anyone as much as my Alice. Through the past year my heart has filled and expanded so much it sometimes feels like my chest could burst. My love for both my girls has grown - seeing them both interact and learn together makes me incredibly proud, and I feel so blessed to have such angels.

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Left picture is about 15 mins old

Of course this past year has been difficult, seemingly impossible at times. In the beginning, I had no idea how on earth we would ever get to 1 year without one of us dying of exhaustion! I couldn't have coped without my amazing family and friends, offering help, support, biscuits and advice. Mainly biscuits. Everything's better with biscuits.

My beautiful baby Violet (do I have to stop adding the baby part yet?) is the light of my life. She is calm, sweet, beautiful, and just a perfect baby. She is the happiest soul I have ever met! She lights up when anyone talks to her, particularly Alice, and I just can't imagine a time without her in my life.

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I know this next year will bring it's own challenges - seriously, what do I do if they both go run in opposite directions? But, every year with my girls is a complete gift.

Happy Birthday pudding. I love you bery bery much.

With love and light xo

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Dear Alice and Violet - 40 months and 11 months!

❤️❤️ 16.07.2014

Dear Violet,

So you are now 11 months old and I just can't believe you've been with us for almost a year! But on the other hand, I can't imagine for one second how we got by without your lovely smiling face!

You had a review with the health visitor a few weeks ago, and you weigh 21 lb 8oz and are 77cm long.

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She was really impressed with how good you are, and particularly impressed with your recorder skills!! At the moment you love anything musical - the recorder, or the harmonica, or keyboard. You love to copy what anyone else is doing, and pass the harmonica back and forwards making noises. You like to sing and dance, although you're dancing looks a bit like twerking!

You are walking holding my hands, and using the furniture to scootle round. This past month you stood up on your own (you sit down any time I take a camera out!) and keep doing it when you're not realising. You're also doing the weird half walk / half crawl that makes you look a bit like a spider! I think you'll be walking at some time in the next month.

You will say "t" for ta, and make "b" noises for ball, and Mitch swears you say dada! You are pretty much constantly babbling and talking about something, I just have no idea what you are saying.

31.07.2014 14.07.2014 - Punk rock baby!

You are so happy the majority of the time, and just like to be surrounded by people. You like smiling and cuddling and just generally playing the part of the lovely happy baby! Everyone always comments on how placid and laid back you are - you are just content being loved. You brighten up my morning with your lovely smile and giggles, and you never fail to cheer me up.

You had been sleeping through for the past month or so, but you're back to up once a night again, perhaps with your teeth? You have 6 little teeth now and particularly enjoy nibbling on anyone who stays still long enough! (In hindsight after reading this back - you were getting a cold and back to sleeping through - hurrah!)

You are a bit of a destroyer at the moment, much to Alice's annoyance! You like knocking down towers, squidging playdough, making a mess, throwing things on the floor, and generally getting in Alice's way. She gets quite frustrated, but we're trying to explain you just want to play. Sometimes I'm fairly sure you're getting your own back!!

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Food wise, you just love meat. If I never tried to give you anything else you would be overjoyed! You are just a little carnivore and will throw anything none meat related on the floor! You like chicken, beef, pork, ham, fish and anything that's not a vegetable - the complete opposite of your sister. Between the 2 of you, you'd demolish just about anything!

Alice calls you "cubby" and she is always asking where you are. If she gets up in the morning, and you're still in bed, she's forever asking for you and cuddles. If we meet anyone, she loves to introduce them to "my baby Violet" and tell them she's "the best baby sister ever". Although she also spends half her time pushing you away from the iPad.

We have booked you a little birthday party for next month that you won't even understand, but I just want to get everyone together to celebrate how brilliant you are, and how lucky we've been to have you for a whole year!!

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Dear Alice,

You are 40 months old this month, and in a few weeks you start at a school nursery! You are so excited, and pretty much every day ask if it's September yet. I'm hoping this excitement lasts for when you actually go! You've had a couple of visits and you loved it, plus it helps that Amelia and Phoebe are going to be there at the same time. You have a little nursery uniform, and you look soooo big and grown up in it!

You like singing own songs, making up words, and just singing your way through the day. One of your favourite things to do at the moment is replace words in nursery rhymes with the word poo, such as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Poo" or "The Grand Ol' Duke of Poo". You think it is literally the funniest thing anyone has ever done ever!

You also like telling jokes, and I've tried to teach you a few but you like to make your own up more. Such as "Why did the tomatoes cross the road? Bears." Then you laugh manically!

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We started working on recognised letters and numbers a few weeks ago, as you seemed quite interested. Well you've picked them all up! You recognise all the numbers 1-10 and most of the letters with a few common mix ups (b and d etc). I am absolutely amazed by how quickly you've picked it all up. For some reason, you still miss the number 15 out when you're camping though - every single time!

You had a little haircut last month as your ends were getting a bit tangley, so we cut your hair to just below chin length, and it's made you look so much bigger! I miss your long hair a little and your first little curls, but it looks much healthier now.

You are such a lovely little soul. You are funny and witty and clever, and you like to be in charge. You throw massive tantrums and huge diva strops, but when it's all over and you come for a cuddle I just want to bottle you up. You can be quite a sensitive little one and sometimes it's easy to forget when we're all joking and playing that you're only 3, and sometimes take things a bit literally! I am so nervous about you starting nursery - you come across so loud and proud and over the top, but I know you get your feelings hurt quite easily and I'm nervous about how you'll be with the other little ones. You're so clever, but sometimes can be a bit overwhelming and in your face when playing with others, probably because you've never spent huge amounts of time with others and mostly just with me. It keeps me awake at night thinking about you making friends and being happy - but I know it's right for you.

My fave little poser 29.07.2014 - Trying on uniform!

A few weeks ago you had a wasp disaster! You'd been on a bug walk with the childminder, and the leader of the walk disturbed a wasps nest! You got off lightly compared to some of the others, but were still stung 10ish times. Daddy had to come fetch you as it was my first day back, and I felt awful all afternoon, but Kinder Eggs and cuddles fixed it.

You also had your preschool injections, which I was terrified about! I knew this time you would know it was me who had taken you, and I thought you'd hate me! But you were brave and we went to McDonalds after, where you weed on the floor - c'est la vie!

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You are so happy with the childminder. I feel like we completely lucked out with someone who is so lovely, and it just means I don't have to worry about you or baby Violet at all when I'm at work. You go places, explore, play games and learn so much with her!

Your sleep is finally on the up these past few weeks, after a few months of 5am get ups! We have finally got it to 6 (hopefully!) and that's fine with me. You like to get "snuggly wuggly" under a blanket with me which is my favourite place to be.

You are both my absolute favourite people in the world.

With love and light xo