Tuesday, 12 January 2016

Dear Violet, Alice,and I guess extra baby?!

So it’s been forever and ever since I updated this as usual.

I feel like every time I blink something has changed and the girls are so much bigger and they are changing and growing and all I really want is to freeze this time where they are so little and I can keep them safe and I know exactly where they are all the time!


Little Violet,

I mentioned in the last post that your speech had finally started to develop - well now your speech is so much better! We have little sentences and you are so funny and know exactly what you want. “No mummy don’t silly”, and “Course I can” make me smile. You have a very Can Do attitude to anything I ask. Can you put this in the bin for me baby? “Course I can”. I think one of your hobbies is probably cleaning and tidying and putting things away. I have to hand you the items individually so you can put them in the bin.

We went to the hospital with your eye and you were actually amazing. Your vision is super poor and you need strong glasses, but you’ve massively took it in your stride. When we went to pick the glasses up you threw them on the floor and tried to stomp on them, so I thought we were in for a right battle. However since day 2 you’ve just realised you can see so much better with them and we never have a battle putting them on. They are super cute purple sparkly frozen ones and you look perfect in them. You’ve been back to hospital since and have been less impressed with the ophthalmologist trying to test you!


You still sleep super well – and still need a little nap in the day. We had a day last week where you missed the nap and were absolutely horrid for the rest of the day, so naps are hopefully around for the time being. You have never ever tried to get out of bed at night time, which is such a contrast to Alice! Soon you are (hopefully) going to start sharing a room with your sister in the bottom bunk and I’m really hoping that won’t affect your lovely sleep!

We’ve had a couple of false starts and attempts with potty training. You aren’t a fan at the moment and I’m trying not to push it. You pooed on the floor next to the potty so I put it in the potty and cheered and you were inconsolable for about 20 minutes. You like sitting on the potty and asking for a smartie and that’s as interested as you get. Alice now asks for a smartie when she goes to the toilet too, and I’m having to disappoint her that it can’t happen as a grown up!



You are so incredibly physical! You love jumping and climbing and getting yourself into danger. Over Christmas we went to Sherwood Pines and you were really in your element – you’re so strong and good at ladders and climbing and you show literally 0 fear. You love jumping and running round. I need to make more of an effort to take you swimming as we’ve not been in forever and I bet you would love it.

You still love to potter and play nicely – you like Happyland and Peppa Pig toys and making them all play and talk to each other. Your farm animals all make noises then they have to go inside the barn when it’s raining and you’re just so independent with it.



Everyone always comments on how sweet natured and lovely you are and it’s so true – but you’ve definitely started terrible 2’s and showing us when you’re unhappy. You stomp your feet and cry and throw things. When you cry your tears get trapped in your glasses and it’s the saddest thing in the world!


My Alice Palace,

You are so grown up now. I literally would freeze you at this age forever and keep you in my pocket. Last night I wasn’t feeling great after work so I had a bath and you asked if you could sit with me and help. You washed my hair, scrubbed my back, stroked my tummy then told me stories. I could have cried. You kept asking what else you could do to help and it just made me appreciate what a sweet, lovely little girl you are now.

You can now read and it’s just amazing! It’s just like it’s clicked all of a sudden and you are reading and spelling things out constantly. You read your school book to me and Violet most nights and I can practically hear the cogs whizzing when you get to a word where you’re stuck and sounding it out. The other day we went to nannys and granddads and their TV wasn’t working – you pointed at the screen and said “does that say communicating with networks”. It did.



You were an angel in your school nativity and it’s one of the best things I have ever seen in my life. You were a real Kate Bush angel and you stood on your own pretty much dancing up a storm and singing to yourself. You cried when I left and it was the saddest angel in the world!

However, alongside being super sweet you have definitely mastered the eye roll / sass! We have loooads less tantrums than we did, but you love to roll your eyes and sigh dramatically at me like I am the worst person in the world. It’s so difficult not to laugh when you’re having a total drama melt down because I brought the wrong pyjamas but it happens much less frequently now and on the whole you’re pretty reasonable.


At night time I take you upstairs and lie with you for 5 minutes and you tell me about your day. You tell me if you’re scared or happy or what happened at school and I could snuggle up to you forever. Slight problem in that I pretty much nearly fall asleep most nights but hey! I don’t think I’ll fit in your top bunk so I’ll miss the snuggles, although I do envision some sneaky stair climbing when I inevitably do try and sneak out the top of your bunk bed.

You’ve finally stopped with the 5.30 get ups, and I’m hoping 6.30 has settled down a bit. We’ve bribed you for a while and you can now play iPad for 30 mins in the morning if you have your uniform on, and I honestly couldn’t care if that’s awful parenting but we all neeeeed to not be getting up before 6am!



So – both of you. We’ve obviously looked at our lives and decided we are getting far too much sleep and life is far too simple (ha!) and decided to have another baby! I am well aware this is mental, but I love you guys so much that I can’t imagine not sharing all the love with have with just one more little person.



Violet has absolutely no idea what’s going on. If you ask what’s in mummy’s tummy she says “sister” but that’s about it. But Alice is so incredibly aware and asks about it most days. When she snuggles up to me at night she asks how baby is and tries to talk to them! However the slight issue is that Alice doesn’t want a brother. Like she’s not mentioned it in passing – every day. She refuses to entertain the idea that this baby might be a boy. If you say it might be a boy, she just replied “it might be a girl.” I’ve read books, looked at pictures, looked through names with her, and she just refuses to believe it might be a boy.

We said to Alice if it’s a boy we can go shopping and buy some toys or clothes. “Mummy if it’s a boy I won’t buy it anything or play with it or love it.” Woops!

So, this is my excuse for buying an early scan off Groupon – and I’m taking Alice with me! I’m hoping seeing the baby might soften the blow a little bit and she can maybe bond a little? Here’s the plan! Plus it’s just an excuse and I’m desperate to know!

Everyone knows and has had to for quite a while. Mostly because even though I’m 13 weeks I’m the size of a 6 month pregnant lady, and secondly we had a bit of drama at the beginning with bleeding and scans etc. so had to tell a few more people. Here’s hoping for a drama free next 6 months.

I am tired and achey but I know I’m incredibly lucky. My sickness has hopefully stopped for a while, and I'd reeeally like it if that stayed away as I was super miserable. I’d like to try and blog a bit more through the pregnancy again but I’ll probably post again in 6 months time when baby is here. Oh well!


With love and light xo

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Dear Alice and Violet - 4 1/2 and 2

My little Violet, who is now 2 and no longer my baby Violet (sob!)

Your speech has suddenly blossomed, from the occasional yes or no, to lovely little phrases. Not quite sentences, but you can completely get your point across and you are so sweet with it! “Mummy dink pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!”. You can finally say Alice, after ages of just calling her “Lilet” she is now “A-iss” and you shout her constantly.

We’ve moved you into a big girl bed, which (touch wood) has been a surprisingly none event. I was dreading doing it, as we had such a nightmare with Alice and naptimes with it, but you’ve just took it with your usual laid back attitude and it’s not even occurred to you to be an issue.

A few weeks ago you woke up one morning with a lazy eye. After a bit of a battle with the doctors, who were a bit useless, we have got an appointment for you at paediatric ophthalmology to get it looked at. I am not looking forward to this at all – you’ll need eye drops to dilate your pupils and I can’t see you being a fan. I’m hoping it’s all nothing to be worried about and just glasses and perhaps patching needed.

You aren’t a great fan of being constrained, and want to walk everywhere. This is totally fine, until you take about 3 hours to do the school run! When strapped in the pushchair you scream and scream until I give you a banana and then suddenly everything is totally fine all over again.

You’re settling in really well at the childminders after a few weeks of tears at drop off. Most mornings you ask if we’re going there, although you do struggle with the long days and are a grump by 6. I think we’re all struggling with the long days a bit at the moment but it is what it is!

Everyone who meets you – health visitors or ladies in the street, comment on how lovely and smily you are. You obviously have your moments, but you are an absolute sunshine and cheer everyone up. You also now think trumps are hilarious.

Alice Palace – what can I say about you at the moment.

You and Violet are becoming closer and closer and it’s amazing to see. In the morning you run up the stairs to fetch Violet, knock on her door, and greet her with a huge “Morning my little sister!”. At naptime you tuck her in and sing her a song, breakfast time you pull faces at each other and swap toast when I’m not looking, you snuggle up with books and steal each others clothes.

You’ve started school, and you are brilliant. You thrive there like I knew you would, but we still have a moan most mornings about going. We had our first parents evening and the teacher was full of plenty of praise – especially for your writing. I have no idea what you do at school because the only thing you normally tell me is what you had for pudding.

You have been writing phonetically and spelling phrases out and it’s wonderful to see what you’re thinking! Although you did write “Alice” on the table and try to blame it on your sister. Then the cat. Then me.

You tell jokes and you lie and you spin stories and you are genuinely hilarious to be around. You make me laugh and you tell me to hold your hand if I’m scared (when you’re scared) and you cuddle me and make me so happy. Apart from when you’re not, and you can still be very difficult. You can whine and grump and stomp and strop like the best of them! You are very much the little girl with the little curl in the middle of her forehead, who can sometimes be very very good…

We’re still on the mostly 5.30 get ups, but you know you have to stay in your room till 6. It’s a work in progress. I’m not convinced you will ever be a sleeper but that’s just how you are!

It’s difficult to write these about you separately now as you are very much just my girls! You are so incredibly different – absolute polar opposites of each other, but you both make me smile and I am very lucky. Alice would call me a very lucky duck.

Friday, 31 July 2015

Dear Alice and Violet, 4 and a bit, and nearly 2!

Right my little princesses - so of course it's been about 4 months since my last blog (must make more of an effort!), so what's new with you?!


Violet you are still an absolute delight!

You are still an incredible eater and pretty regularly eat adult portions of whatever we give you. Considering how Alice can survive on bread and air, you just cannot eat enough! One of the few words you can say with regularity is "more pleeeeeeeeez".


You are starting to speak much more, but you're still not super bothered. I know you can say quite a lot but you're quite happy just to watch and take it in! Either that or you can't fit in a word edgeways with Alice yabbering on! You can count to 10 (ish) and you like to sing twinkle twinkle and hickory dickory dock. You're favourite word is "no" which you say to anything that doesn't involve food or the park.

You like to dance, as long as dance means run round in concentric circles till you fall over dizzy. You like to do this while holding the pink ukelele and singing to yourself!


The house is constantly full of your giggles, and you think Alice is the funniest person in the entire history of the world.

You find it impossible to walk anywhere, and bolt everywhere at amillion miles an hour, normally falling on route. Then you giggle, dust yourself off and run in the opposite direction.

We've recently been camping for the first time, and a few weeks before that we went to Center Parcs. You were an absolute gem for both - you just love being outside and playing and running free. At camping you spent the whole weekend running naked round a field; chasing butterflies, eating apples and getting mucky. You came back covered in a layer of river water, suncream and grass - and I've never seen you happier!

The tantrums have started properly. You don't like being told no, or not being fed constantly. We're working on it!


Alice Palice, my absolute favourite person in the world - you are getting so big and so clever!

You are forever making me laugh and telling me jokes and stories. You are incredibly creative and there are absolutely 0 flies on you. You have a rhyming pocket, where you put any rhyming words throughout the day. I mentioned this at parents evening thinking this was a school thing - nope. You just made it up!

At parents evening I was so pleased to hear about how well you've done this year. You've come on so much - you write really clearly now and can recognise all the letters / numbers up to 100 (I particularly like tooty two - 22). You draw beautifully when you don't get distracted, and love drawing rainbows and cats with 10 legs.



We've had a few issues at home with your behaviour, but it was relieving to hear that it completely isn't an issue at school. In hindsight I think you were probably just tired and you've been much better for the past few weeks.

At the moment you're completely torn - you love and dote on your sister more than anything in the world, but you are getting increasingly frustrated that she wants to touch all your things and play with you constantly - "Mummy why has she ruined my magnificent tower????", but you also can't be without her for longer than 5 minutes. She cries if you leave anywhere without her, and you just aren't the same without each other.


You still get up at 5.30 most days (urhhhhhh) with runs of 6.30 occasionally. This is just how you are! You've asked to share a room with Violet and are absolutely desperate too - I think maybe we'll do this next year. (Opinions anyone? Bad idea??)

You loved Center Parcs and camping too, with a few melt downs due to tiredness! You just go go go and go, then somehow reach a screaming stop when you're broken and I've ordered pizza because you wanted pizza but turns out you meant fishfingers. Ce la vie.



I am incredibly proud of both of you, and happy with what lovely little girls you're becoming, but sad you're no longer my little babies. I miss the little snuggles and tiny baby feet and cuddles and kisses and soft cheeks! What a lucky person I am x

With love and light xo

Monday, 16 March 2015

Dear Alice and Violet - nearly 4 (urgh!) and 18 months!

I always forget to blog, then recently I spent a bit of time reading through past entries and realise how nice it is. Like this blog is Alice at the same age as Violet - http://evenstarx.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/dear-alice-1617-months.html. Soooo different!

So, a bit of an update.


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Dear Alice,

My little gem! You are 4 next month. You sat me down and asked for a party; specifically with balloons, a bouncy castle and a cake. Done, done and done! All you've asked for for your birthday is a balloon and an Anna dress. I am really appreciating these last few cheap birthdays! I think we're just going to renew your Wheelgate pass, as you get tons of fun out of that.

You are so lovely at the moment. If I could keep you at this age forever I would! You stroke my face, brush my hair, kiss me and tell me I'm pretty. Then ask for a biscuit.

You are basically just me, shrunk down. I completely understand all your frustrations and angers when things aren't quite right, and I'm there with you trying to make it all okay! Everyone describes you as "intense", which we all know just means a bit crazy. Or "strongwilled". Sometimes we get "independent".

We went on holiday to Alton, and I was terrified beforehand that you just wouldn't sleep or eat and generally just be a bit mental. In reality, you were lovely. You went to bed every night at around 7.30, despite our best efforts to keep you awake a bit longer! Yes you woke up at 6, but you were at least happy! We went to Cbeebies land and Mr. Bloom was there, so we had to go to his show 3 times. It was the same every time, but you were happy!

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There was a hot tub which you went in pretty much constantly with Amelia. You have asked me pretty much constantly why we don't have a hot tub, a question I have often considered.

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We went to Monkey Forest, and you were mildly impressed by the monkeys, but more distraught you couldn't have a snack while you were in there. We bought you and Violet a toy monkey each, and you named them Dusty and Daisy, and insisted they were sisters and best friends. Awwwww!

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You had your face painted at the pub for grandads birthday and it was quite possibly the best thing I've ever paid £1 for. Worth it amillion times over. I literally nearly wet myself.

You're reading and phonics have come on loads. You can recognise and write most / all of the letters, sound out and read most 3 letter words, you guess the letters in longer words and are always telling me what things begin with.

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We started swimming lessons this month, and you have been ace. I didn't know what you'd be like without me in with you, but you just jumped in and plodded on like it wasn't an issue at all. 3 weeks in you're already getting better.

Mama got you a red nose for comic relief. You gave it the name "Loopy" and make it kiss everyone. Please stay nearly 4 forever!

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Dear Violet, or Violet Pilot as your sister calls you, you are now 18 months old.

You sometimes say a few words, dada, no, ta, and bayybeeeeee which you say like that and it's the most adorable thing ever.

You are obsessed with babies. Carrying them round, feeding them, getting their milk, kissing them, making everyone else kiss them. Pretty much the only thing I hear you say most of the time is "baybeeeee" and then make kissing noises!

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You love slides. Alice always hated slides, and you cannot get enough! I went in the garden for 5 mins to peg some washing out and ended up spending hours lifting you up the slide in the garden while you giggled.

You chase Alice round all the time, hide from her and tickle her, and try to play snap with her. You just want to be involved in anything she's doing, and would follow her to the end of the world.

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On  holiday you slept really badly, but that's because you were in a room with us and kept waking up wanting to play! You loved the In the Night Garden boat ride, and just being around other kids and trying to be in their games.

You still eat like a machine. Given the chance you will just start eating at 7am and stop eating just before bed. Whereas Alice would survive on half a cracker and a squash, you are always fetching me your high chair to remind me to feed you! I can't complain, you eat all good stuff, but you are just a little bottomless pit!

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At the moment you walk everywhere and scream bloody murder if I try and strap you into anything. You won't hold hands, and mostly just want to run off in any direction away from me. God forbid we have to go a certain way.

You have entered the age of the tantrum. If I have to take something away from you, you will throw yourself on the floor and scream. That's also generally the reaction if I try and put your shoes on.

The person who makes you happiest in the world is Alice. You are sad most mornings when we drop her off at school, and perk up when you run in to fetch her. It is my favourite thing in the world to see you 2 together, and completely melts my heart. Alice always shouts you and cuddles you and tells you you're the best sister in the world. I think so too. x

With love and light xo

Monday, 5 January 2015

Dear Alice and Violet - 45 months and 16 months!

Jeeeez have I really not blogged since October? How on earth did I not notice that! Life seems to be going about amillion miles an hour lately. It’s not that things haven’t happened, I just haven’t really thought to write about it.

We’ve just had a lovely (and exhausting?) couple of weeks off for Christmas with the kidlets. It was absolutely the best Christmas ever. To be able to feel Alice’s excitement when it came to arranging the carrot for Rudolph and the cookies – she insisted on baking gingerbread – for santa, was just amazing. And by feel I mean actually feel - she was physically shaking with excitement a lot of the time! Every morning on the way up to Christmas I would wake up to an Alice 2 inches from my face saying “9 days to go mummy”. Slightly adorable, slightly terrifying.

The girls were so incredibly behaved over Christmas day. I’d prepared myself for some epic breakdowns over sharing presents and over excitement, but they were beautiful. They played, and shared, and were both just so so happy. It helped that we were at home I think, and they could play with their own stuff, but they were lovely.

So, time for a bit of a catch up.

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Dear Alice, you are now 45 months old.

You are so tall and slender now! You would survive pretty much on snacks and air given the opportunity, so it can be a bit of a battle at tea time. We’re currently we’re just going with – here is your food. If you do not eat it, you will be hungry. You don’t really eat much meat, you would survive entirely on green beans and corny cob given half the chance I’m sure.

You love nursery. You love the social aspect, and seeing all your friends. You love running round like a crazy person. You are learning so much every day, and when you come home you are just shattered. You told me a few weeks ago that your full name had 7 syllables and then proceeded to clap it out for me. You are constantly correcting me (“Mummy don’t be silly, that is not true”) and telling me all the exciting things you have learned. I am so happy you like it and it’s a pleasure to see you grow. I love the nursery, and I think your teacher is brilliant.

Just before Christmas was your school nativity, where you were a twinkly star. Watching you stood there singing Away In A Manager was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I am so incredibly glad that I could be there. The last week at nursery, you did the panto, 2 lots of nativity, nursery party, and Santa came in. You were shattered and grumpy, but I know you had a lovely time.

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The past few weeks you’ve improved your pen control (“pinchy parrot”!) and now write and draw beautifully. I love the imagination and thought that goes into your drawings. This morning before school you drew me, daddy, baby Violet and Amelia, and it’s the nicest picture ever. Unfortunately you did draw it red pen on red paper so it’s a little difficult to photograph / see but I know it’s there! You wrote beautiful placecards on Christmas day for everyone, and you insisted on writing all your own Christmas cards this year.

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You are so good at singing and dancing and you are always telling me “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the show is about to begin” followed by 25 minutes of twirling and leg pointing. You got a few more dressing up clothes for Christmas and often the show requires a costume change. You will refuse any help, and currently want to get dressed on your own every day. Pants took 30 minutes last week, but you did tell me that pants were tricky.

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The past few weeks at home with everyone you have been lovely, with patches of crazy. You still wake up at 6 / 6.30, so by the evening you are just shattered and grumpy. The one person you always have time for is Violet, although you’ve taken to calling her Cubby or Vi. You love her to pieces, as long as she’s not trying to use the toy your currently using. Which is 98% of the time. I love seeing you chase each other round and tickle chase, it really makes my heart sore, but my ears hurt!

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You've taken to wanting to perform a Crufts like routine every evening where you have to jump through the hoop - both of you. I have no idea where you got this from but it keeps you occupied for hours. I'm thinking if we can work up to lighting the hoop perhaps we'll get on Britains Got Talent?

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It snowed too! You loved the snow and made a snowman called Snowy but then you got cold and I made chicken soup and it was the wrong kind of chicken soup.

Love you pudding cup!


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Baby Violet you are now 16 months old, and it’s fair to say you are a chunky monkey. You will eat anything and everything that isn’t nailed down. Last night you stole and apple off your sister and ate the whole thing behind the sofa – core and all. This was maybe an hour after a Sunday dinner, and a whole orange for pudding. You are a lovely cuddly eating machine!

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You completely dote on your big sister, and want to follow her round, do whatever she’s doing and basically be her shadow. Your favourite thing to play with is Alice’s pushchair and your little babies you got for Christmas. You sit them in the highchair with you and you feed them and blow on their food – it is literally the nicest thing I’ve ever seen. You normally carry 2 babies round with you ,1 under each arm. You push round and snuggle them and tuck them into bed with their bottles – aww!

We went to Wheelgate the other day and you went on the train with me for the first time! I forget how big you are getting, in my head you’re still super tiny but you are running round and playing games now. You run really quickly, and have completely changed shaped from a baby to getting to be a toddler.

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You just want to be involved in anything with people. You are still very content and happy, but have had a few tantrums these past few weeks! One lasted 45 minutes, because I wouldn’t let you have the toilet brush. You do have a completely different personality to Alice though – you’re more wary of new people and new places. You want to be snuggled and hugged and carried much more, and you want to care for things. Alice always (and still does) just goes in headfirst, where you like to take a step back and assess what’s going on.

Although you don’t say much more, we know what you mean now. You make the right noises, and point at the right things. You could read books for hours, just changing the pages and pointing at all the pictures. You love pop up books – “there it is!”, and finding the bear.

You have gone back to waking up in the night most nights for some milk, which is frustrating!! We can’t possibly feed you any more, but if we don’t take you milk you just shout for hours! Cuddles won’t do – you are hangry! A bit wearing, but not forever I suppose. Hopefully.

You change so much every day, and I do love my girls. Best Christmas ever, and here's to many more of the same.

With love and light xo