Dear Alice - 5!

Dear Alice

Tomorrow you will be 5.

I never really thought we would get this far. I mean, I guess I knew that you reaching the age of 5 was going to happen eventually, but I could just only picture it in some sort of abstract sense, like one day I will be able to go for a wee without an audience. But when you were born, and when you were my tiny Alice, I could never quite picture that one day you would be this incredible little person with opinions and a sense of humour and emotions and feelings.

5 is my favourite. Even though you’re not quite 5 yet I’ve decided already that I want to stop you exactly where you are now and not let you get any bigger. I told you this last night, and you rolled your eyes at me and told me that if I did that you wouldn’t get a birthday cake next year and that wasn’t okay. I tried to reason that I’d just buy you a cake and you could stay 5 but your exact phrase was - “Mummy. Don’t be silly. I will keep growing for the next hundred years and then I will be older than you but I will still give you kisses.”

You are just so big now. Physically and mentally, you just seem so grown up this past few months. I don’t know if it’s being pregnant, or seeing Violet grow up, or something else - but you just seem so huge to me. You’re all legs and arms and you’re not quite sure what to do with them. All your trousers fall down because you’re just so long! You are sometimes dainty and graceful, and sometimes you look like you’re not quite sure where your legs end.

We just switched all your clothes over and it has been such a faff! You have such a specific idea about what you want to wear and what you are never going to wear ever. It just isn’t worth the battle with you, so I order loads online and let you pick what you want / send the rest back. You then insist on picking your outfits every morning, which often ends with us going to Tesco with you in a tutu and wellies. I quite like it though – I like that you have a sense of independence and an opinion, so I can’t moan too much. Also girls clothes shopping is fun.

You have just come on so so much at school. Last term you won a merit prize for getting the most merits that term, and your prize was watching a film and having sweets and hot dogs with the head teacher. I had no idea you were even getting merits at school - so it’s always nice to know you’re doing well! I get literally no information from you about what goes on at school, but it’s obviously done you the world of good. You have come on so much with sharing, kindness, patience and empathy; alongside all the academic stuff as well. The academic stuff is ace, but I’m the most proud when you tell me you got merits for being supportive, or taking another student and trying to cheer them up.

 

You are absolutely flying through reading. Considering 6 months ago you could sound out basic words, you can now read pretty much anything. You sound anything out you aren’t sure of, but will quite happily sit and read Violet a book now. Because of your reading, it seems to have opened up this whole new world to you, of questions to ask and answers to find out. “Mummy – Why does that sign say drive carefully? Why does the TV say signal input required? What’s a speed limit?” I love how inquisitive you are. I need to remind myself that when I’m explaining road signs at 7am!

You can count to 100 and beyond, and love learning how to add up and take away. However it does mean I can no longer trick you with the number of mini eggs I have eaten.

Your personality has just grown and changed and you are growing and changing every day with all this confidence and kindness. We just came back from holiday, where you signed yourself up for a talent show telling jokes. You wouldn’t tell me the joke beforehand which was slightly disconcerting but you were ace. You danced and played games, and your favourite part of the holiday was the 2p machines apparently. You won some key rings which you shared with Violet, and most of the time you show nothing but kindness and empathy.

You can be a bit of a sensitive soul / mardy grump depending on whether you ask me or Mitch. Things upset you easily, and you can’t handle what you deem as not fair. Lots of things aren’t fair unfortunately, and I find myself repeating the standard parenting response - "Life’s not fair”. You can take a bit of coaxing and calming down over some things, and you get anxious and worried about things. Given the choice, you would stay at home with me all day every day.

You write little sentences and stories round the house, which don’t have any spaces in so generally need reading phonetically and the gaps need putting in to make sense. You sneak love notes into you boyfriends (boyfriend, I know!) bag and if I leave a shopping list around the house you will always add a few items. Normally cake.

You are incredibly kind and beautiful inside and out - you are hard work but you are my favourite Alice in the world.

With love and light xo

Dear Violet, Alice,and I guess extra baby?!

So it’s been forever and ever since I updated this as usual.

I feel like every time I blink something has changed and the girls are so much bigger and they are changing and growing and all I really want is to freeze this time where they are so little and I can keep them safe and I know exactly where they are all the time!

Little Violet,

I mentioned in the last post that your speech had finally started to develop - well now your speech is so much better! We have little sentences and you are so funny and know exactly what you want. “No mummy don’t silly”, and “Course I can” make me smile. You have a very Can Do attitude to anything I ask. Can you put this in the bin for me baby? “Course I can”. I think one of your hobbies is probably cleaning and tidying and putting things away. I have to hand you the items individually so you can put them in the bin.

We went to the hospital with your eye and you were actually amazing. Your vision is super poor and you need strong glasses, but you’ve massively took it in your stride. When we went to pick the glasses up you threw them on the floor and tried to stomp on them, so I thought we were in for a right battle. However since day 2 you’ve just realised you can see so much better with them and we never have a battle putting them on. They are super cute purple sparkly frozen ones and you look perfect in them. You’ve been back to hospital since and have been less impressed with the ophthalmologist trying to test you!

You still sleep super well – and still need a little nap in the day. We had a day last week where you missed the nap and were absolutely horrid for the rest of the day, so naps are hopefully around for the time being. You have never ever tried to get out of bed at night time, which is such a contrast to Alice! Soon you are (hopefully) going to start sharing a room with your sister in the bottom bunk and I’m really hoping that won’t affect your lovely sleep!

We’ve had a couple of false starts and attempts with potty training. You aren’t a fan at the moment and I’m trying not to push it. You pooed on the floor next to the potty so I put it in the potty and cheered and you were inconsolable for about 20 minutes. You like sitting on the potty and asking for a smartie and that’s as interested as you get. Alice now asks for a smartie when she goes to the toilet too, and I’m having to disappoint her that it can’t happen as a grown up!

You are so incredibly physical! You love jumping and climbing and getting yourself into danger. Over Christmas we went to Sherwood Pines and you were really in your element – you’re so strong and good at ladders and climbing and you show literally 0 fear. You love jumping and running round. I need to make more of an effort to take you swimming as we’ve not been in forever and I bet you would love it.

You still love to potter and play nicely – you like Happyland and Peppa Pig toys and making them all play and talk to each other. Your farm animals all make noises then they have to go inside the barn when it’s raining and you’re just so independent with it.

Everyone always comments on how sweet natured and lovely you are and it’s so true – but you’ve definitely started terrible 2’s and showing us when you’re unhappy. You stomp your feet and cry and throw things. When you cry your tears get trapped in your glasses and it’s the saddest thing in the world!

My Alice Palace,

You are so grown up now. I literally would freeze you at this age forever and keep you in my pocket. Last night I wasn’t feeling great after work so I had a bath and you asked if you could sit with me and help. You washed my hair, scrubbed my back, stroked my tummy then told me stories. I could have cried. You kept asking what else you could do to help and it just made me appreciate what a sweet, lovely little girl you are now.

You can now read and it’s just amazing! It’s just like it’s clicked all of a sudden and you are reading and spelling things out constantly. You read your school book to me and Violet most nights and I can practically hear the cogs whizzing when you get to a word where you’re stuck and sounding it out. The other day we went to nannys and granddads and their TV wasn’t working – you pointed at the screen and said “does that say communicating with networks”. It did.

You were an angel in your school nativity and it’s one of the best things I have ever seen in my life. You were a real Kate Bush angel and you stood on your own pretty much dancing up a storm and singing to yourself. You cried when I left and it was the saddest angel in the world!

However, alongside being super sweet you have definitely mastered the eye roll / sass! We have loooads less tantrums than we did, but you love to roll your eyes and sigh dramatically at me like I am the worst person in the world. It’s so difficult not to laugh when you’re having a total drama melt down because I brought the wrong pyjamas but it happens much less frequently now and on the whole you’re pretty reasonable.

At night time I take you upstairs and lie with you for 5 minutes and you tell me about your day. You tell me if you’re scared or happy or what happened at school and I could snuggle up to you forever. Slight problem in that I pretty much nearly fall asleep most nights but hey! I don’t think I’ll fit in your top bunk so I’ll miss the snuggles, although I do envision some sneaky stair climbing when I inevitably do try and sneak out the top of your bunk bed.

You’ve finally stopped with the 5.30 get ups, and I’m hoping 6.30 has settled down a bit. We’ve bribed you for a while and you can now play iPad for 30 mins in the morning if you have your uniform on, and I honestly couldn’t care if that’s awful parenting but we all neeeeed to not be getting up before 6am!

So – both of you. We’ve obviously looked at our lives and decided we are getting far too much sleep and life is far too simple (ha!) and decided to have another baby! I am well aware this is mental, but I love you guys so much that I can’t imagine not sharing all the love with have with just one more little person.

Violet has absolutely no idea what’s going on. If you ask what’s in mummy’s tummy she says “sister” but that’s about it. But Alice is so incredibly aware and asks about it most days. When she snuggles up to me at night she asks how baby is and tries to talk to them! However the slight issue is that Alice doesn’t want a brother. Like she’s not mentioned it in passing – every day. She refuses to entertain the idea that this baby might be a boy. If you say it might be a boy, she just replied “it might be a girl.” I’ve read books, looked at pictures, looked through names with her, and she just refuses to believe it might be a boy.

We said to Alice if it’s a boy we can go shopping and buy some toys or clothes. “Mummy if it’s a boy I won’t buy it anything or play with it or love it.” Woops!

So, this is my excuse for buying an early scan off Groupon – and I’m taking Alice with me! I’m hoping seeing the baby might soften the blow a little bit and she can maybe bond a little? Here’s the plan! Plus it’s just an excuse and I’m desperate to know!

Everyone knows and has had to for quite a while. Mostly because even though I’m 13 weeks I’m the size of a 6 month pregnant lady, and secondly we had a bit of drama at the beginning with bleeding and scans etc. so had to tell a few more people. Here’s hoping for a drama free next 6 months.

I am tired and achey but I know I’m incredibly lucky. My sickness has hopefully stopped for a while, and I'd reeeally like it if that stayed away as I was super miserable. I’d like to try and blog a bit more through the pregnancy again but I’ll probably post again in 6 months time when baby is here. Oh well!


With love and light xo

Dear Alice and Violet - 4 1/2 and 2

My little Violet, who is now 2 and no longer my baby Violet (sob!)

Your speech has suddenly blossomed, from the occasional yes or no, to lovely little phrases. Not quite sentences, but you can completely get your point across and you are so sweet with it! “Mummy dink pweeeeeeeeeeeeeeze!”. You can finally say Alice, after ages of just calling her “Lilet” she is now “A-iss” and you shout her constantly.

We’ve moved you into a big girl bed, which (touch wood) has been a surprisingly none event. I was dreading doing it, as we had such a nightmare with Alice and naptimes with it, but you’ve just took it with your usual laid back attitude and it’s not even occurred to you to be an issue.

A few weeks ago you woke up one morning with a lazy eye. After a bit of a battle with the doctors, who were a bit useless, we have got an appointment for you at paediatric ophthalmology to get it looked at. I am not looking forward to this at all – you’ll need eye drops to dilate your pupils and I can’t see you being a fan. I’m hoping it’s all nothing to be worried about and just glasses and perhaps patching needed.

You aren’t a great fan of being constrained, and want to walk everywhere. This is totally fine, until you take about 3 hours to do the school run! When strapped in the pushchair you scream and scream until I give you a banana and then suddenly everything is totally fine all over again.

You’re settling in really well at the childminders after a few weeks of tears at drop off. Most mornings you ask if we’re going there, although you do struggle with the long days and are a grump by 6. I think we’re all struggling with the long days a bit at the moment but it is what it is!

Everyone who meets you – health visitors or ladies in the street, comment on how lovely and smily you are. You obviously have your moments, but you are an absolute sunshine and cheer everyone up. You also now think trumps are hilarious.

Alice Palace – what can I say about you at the moment.

You and Violet are becoming closer and closer and it’s amazing to see. In the morning you run up the stairs to fetch Violet, knock on her door, and greet her with a huge “Morning my little sister!”. At naptime you tuck her in and sing her a song, breakfast time you pull faces at each other and swap toast when I’m not looking, you snuggle up with books and steal each others clothes.

You’ve started school, and you are brilliant. You thrive there like I knew you would, but we still have a moan most mornings about going. We had our first parents evening and the teacher was full of plenty of praise – especially for your writing. I have no idea what you do at school because the only thing you normally tell me is what you had for pudding.

You have been writing phonetically and spelling phrases out and it’s wonderful to see what you’re thinking! Although you did write “Alice” on the table and try to blame it on your sister. Then the cat. Then me.

You tell jokes and you lie and you spin stories and you are genuinely hilarious to be around. You make me laugh and you tell me to hold your hand if I’m scared (when you’re scared) and you cuddle me and make me so happy. Apart from when you’re not, and you can still be very difficult. You can whine and grump and stomp and strop like the best of them! You are very much the little girl with the little curl in the middle of her forehead, who can sometimes be very very good…

We’re still on the mostly 5.30 get ups, but you know you have to stay in your room till 6. It’s a work in progress. I’m not convinced you will ever be a sleeper but that’s just how you are!

It’s difficult to write these about you separately now as you are very much just my girls! You are so incredibly different – absolute polar opposites of each other, but you both make me smile and I am very lucky. Alice would call me a very lucky duck.

Dear Alice and Violet, 4 and a bit, and nearly 2!

Right my little princesses - so of course it's been about 4 months since my last blog (must make more of an effort!), so what's new with you?!

Violet you are still an absolute delight!

You are still an incredible eater and pretty regularly eat adult portions of whatever we give you. Considering how Alice can survive on bread and air, you just cannot eat enough! One of the few words you can say with regularity is "more pleeeeeeeeez".

You are starting to speak much more, but you're still not super bothered. I know you can say quite a lot but you're quite happy just to watch and take it in! Either that or you can't fit in a word edgeways with Alice yabbering on! You can count to 10 (ish) and you like to sing twinkle twinkle and hickory dickory dock. You're favourite word is "no" which you say to anything that doesn't involve food or the park.

You like to dance, as long as dance means run round in concentric circles till you fall over dizzy. You like to do this while holding the pink ukelele and singing to yourself!

The house is constantly full of your giggles, and you think Alice is the funniest person in the entire history of the world.

You find it impossible to walk anywhere, and bolt everywhere at amillion miles an hour, normally falling on route. Then you giggle, dust yourself off and run in the opposite direction.

We've recently been camping for the first time, and a few weeks before that we went to Center Parcs. You were an absolute gem for both - you just love being outside and playing and running free. At camping you spent the whole weekend running naked round a field; chasing butterflies, eating apples and getting mucky. You came back covered in a layer of river water, suncream and grass - and I've never seen you happier!

The tantrums have started properly. You don't like being told no, or not being fed constantly. We're working on it!

Alice Palice, my absolute favourite person in the world - you are getting so big and so clever!

You are forever making me laugh and telling me jokes and stories. You are incredibly creative and there are absolutely 0 flies on you. You have a rhyming pocket, where you put any rhyming words throughout the day. I mentioned this at parents evening thinking this was a school thing - nope. You just made it up!

At parents evening I was so pleased to hear about how well you've done this year. You've come on so much - you write really clearly now and can recognise all the letters / numbers up to 100 (I particularly like tooty two - 22). You draw beautifully when you don't get distracted, and love drawing rainbows and cats with 10 legs.

We've had a few issues at home with your behaviour, but it was relieving to hear that it completely isn't an issue at school. In hindsight I think you were probably just tired and you've been much better for the past few weeks.

At the moment you're completely torn - you love and dote on your sister more than anything in the world, but you are getting increasingly frustrated that she wants to touch all your things and play with you constantly - "Mummy why has she ruined my magnificent tower????", but you also can't be without her for longer than 5 minutes. She cries if you leave anywhere without her, and you just aren't the same without each other.

You still get up at 5.30 most days (urhhhhhh) with runs of 6.30 occasionally. This is just how you are! You've asked to share a room with Violet and are absolutely desperate too - I think maybe we'll do this next year. (Opinions anyone? Bad idea??)

You loved Center Parcs and camping too, with a few melt downs due to tiredness! You just go go go and go, then somehow reach a screaming stop when you're broken and I've ordered pizza because you wanted pizza but turns out you meant fishfingers. Ce la vie.

I am incredibly proud of both of you, and happy with what lovely little girls you're becoming, but sad you're no longer my little babies. I miss the little snuggles and tiny baby feet and cuddles and kisses and soft cheeks! What a lucky person I am x

With love and light xo

Dear Alice and Violet - nearly 4 (urgh!) and 18 months!

I always forget to blog, then recently I spent a bit of time reading through past entries and realise how nice it is. Like this blog is Alice at the same age as Violet - http://evenstarx.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/dear-alice-1617-months.html. Soooo different!

So, a bit of an update.

Dear Alice,

My little gem! You are 4 next month. You sat me down and asked for a party; specifically with balloons, a bouncy castle and a cake. Done, done and done! All you've asked for for your birthday is a balloon and an Anna dress. I am really appreciating these last few cheap birthdays! I think we're just going to renew your Wheelgate pass, as you get tons of fun out of that.

You are so lovely at the moment. If I could keep you at this age forever I would! You stroke my face, brush my hair, kiss me and tell me I'm pretty. Then ask for a biscuit.

You are basically just me, shrunk down. I completely understand all your frustrations and angers when things aren't quite right, and I'm there with you trying to make it all okay! Everyone describes you as "intense", which we all know just means a bit crazy. Or "strongwilled". Sometimes we get "independent".

We went on holiday to Alton, and I was terrified beforehand that you just wouldn't sleep or eat and generally just be a bit mental. In reality, you were lovely. You went to bed every night at around 7.30, despite our best efforts to keep you awake a bit longer! Yes you woke up at 6, but you were at least happy! We went to Cbeebies land and Mr. Bloom was there, so we had to go to his show 3 times. It was the same every time, but you were happy!

There was a hot tub which you went in pretty much constantly with Amelia. You have asked me pretty much constantly why we don't have a hot tub, a question I have often considered.

We went to Monkey Forest, and you were mildly impressed by the monkeys, but more distraught you couldn't have a snack while you were in there. We bought you and Violet a toy monkey each, and you named them Dusty and Daisy, and insisted they were sisters and best friends. Awwwww!

You had your face painted at the pub for grandads birthday and it was quite possibly the best thing I've ever paid £1 for. Worth it amillion times over. I literally nearly wet myself.

You're reading and phonics have come on loads. You can recognise and write most / all of the letters, sound out and read most 3 letter words, you guess the letters in longer words and are always telling me what things begin with.

We started swimming lessons this month, and you have been ace. I didn't know what you'd be like without me in with you, but you just jumped in and plodded on like it wasn't an issue at all. 3 weeks in you're already getting better.

Mama got you a red nose for comic relief. You gave it the name "Loopy" and make it kiss everyone. Please stay nearly 4 forever!

Dear Violet, or Violet Pilot as your sister calls you, you are now 18 months old.

You sometimes say a few words, dada, no, ta, and bayybeeeeee which you say like that and it's the most adorable thing ever.

You are obsessed with babies. Carrying them round, feeding them, getting their milk, kissing them, making everyone else kiss them. Pretty much the only thing I hear you say most of the time is "baybeeeee" and then make kissing noises!

You love slides. Alice always hated slides, and you cannot get enough! I went in the garden for 5 mins to peg some washing out and ended up spending hours lifting you up the slide in the garden while you giggled.

You chase Alice round all the time, hide from her and tickle her, and try to play snap with her. You just want to be involved in anything she's doing, and would follow her to the end of the world.

On  holiday you slept really badly, but that's because you were in a room with us and kept waking up wanting to play! You loved the In the Night Garden boat ride, and just being around other kids and trying to be in their games.

You still eat like a machine. Given the chance you will just start eating at 7am and stop eating just before bed. Whereas Alice would survive on half a cracker and a squash, you are always fetching me your high chair to remind me to feed you! I can't complain, you eat all good stuff, but you are just a little bottomless pit!

At the moment you walk everywhere and scream bloody murder if I try and strap you into anything. You won't hold hands, and mostly just want to run off in any direction away from me. God forbid we have to go a certain way.

You have entered the age of the tantrum. If I have to take something away from you, you will throw yourself on the floor and scream. That's also generally the reaction if I try and put your shoes on.

The person who makes you happiest in the world is Alice. You are sad most mornings when we drop her off at school, and perk up when you run in to fetch her. It is my favourite thing in the world to see you 2 together, and completely melts my heart. Alice always shouts you and cuddles you and tells you you're the best sister in the world. I think so too. x

With love and light xo