36+4 - Best thing to do when pregnant? Remodel your house.

Haven't updated for a while because it's all been a bit mental here!

This all began around 6 months ago when we talked about the possibility of getting a log burner. We've been thinking about it for a few years but I was adamant that in the small living room it would be stifling and pointless. Since Christmas this kind of progressed into knocking out a wall to make our dining room / kitchen merge, as the dining room before was a bit of a dead space.

To me, it's really important we have a table to sit and eat as a family as regularly as possible. In my head it's a time to sit around and talk about our days and have family time - although at the moment it's normally a bit of a battle ground between us vs. children. Still - perseverance is key and I'm adamant it's going to pay off! But other than that the dining room was basically just a corridor between the kitchen and living room.

This evolved into the idea of also having double doors into the garden so the kids can run round safely while I can still see them and do a few bits in the house. Especially with us having the baby so I'm going to be a little torn between the 3 of them.

Before -

 

The only time my brother could book us in was the past 2 weeks, or when the baby came. We decided the disruption was far better off in pregnancy than with a newborn, so that's what we did! We still have stuff left to do - painting the fresh plaster and putting up shelves / storage etc., but we are mostly done now. I'd like to say I've been super chilled and relaxed about the whole affair, but that would be a complete lie. I have cried and sulked and not slept and generally been a bit rubbish - but I can honestly say now it's coming together it was totally worth it.

During -

 

The house is more open, and there's so much more light. The kids have more room to play and run round, and they can go in the garden safely. We swapped the living room / dining room round so we sit so much further back from the road. It's just lovely and I'm so glad we did it. By we I mean all the other people while I've mostly just sat around and cried.

After - ish!

 

One thing we didn't anticipate which has made things a bit trickier is my SPD. I'm not going to dwell on it too much as I don't want to be negative, but it's rubbish. I can't really sleep; my walking speed is that of an injured snail; and I can't do lots of the things I feel I should be able to. It hurts and it's frustrating and I just want to be able to do everything and I can't.

I've had to finish work earlier than I'd planned to, as I was just coming home every evening unable to climb the stairs without crying; or having to work myself up to getting out the car as it hurt too much. I'm still struggling, but at home at least I'm able to get in more supportive positions, and I'm trying to lie down every day when Violet naps for an hour. I feel like I'm the least fun mum in the world at the moment, and I can't be who the girls deserve, and that sucks the most. But - not forever hopefully! Onwards and forwards - people have it much worse than I do.

Baby wise - I am 37 weeks on Thursday. I am not at all sorted. Everything has been so house focused but I'm hoping this is going to start to wind down this week and I can start sorting baby things! To be fair, we have bought most of the things; they're just in a massive pile in the cot and I'd like to have a sort out.

This week I need to get the birth pool out and inflate and check for punctures etc. I need to get a few more home birth bits and just get everything together. I think the idea of it all is a bit abstract at the moment - I'm hoping when I've sorted through those bits I start to feel a bit more prepared and focused and I can shift some mental energy onto the fact we will have another baby soon, as even typing that sentence out feels a little bit strange!

Alice has predicted the 1st July and completely refuses to deviate from this date. She was having a conversation with the baby earlier via my belly button, and apparently the baby was saying she is definitely coming on the 1st July and she is going to buy Alice a present. The girls also decided between them that the baby needs a birthday cake when she is born, but they will eat it for her.

The midwife is coming to the house on Wednesday to go through birth plan / home birth stuff. I was stressing about the plaster on the walls but I've decided she must have seen worse!

Alice is ridiculously excited and keeps talking about it. Violet has very much decided to ignore it, but either coincidentally or not has definitely started the "terrible twos" complete with shouting, tantrums and foot stamping this past few weeks. It's going to be a big transition for everyone and I'm just hoping we all make it through the other side!

We have had a few weeks nappy free though - potty trained Violet day and night! I can take 0 credit for it - we've been trying on and off for months and getting nowhere, and I thought I'd give it a proper go over half term. She just decided that the potty was now acceptable and just did it, and then refused to wear nappies at night either! So for this brief few weeks I am nappy free for the first time in 5 years!

Sorry this has been quite long and dull - basically there's nothing to report other than I crazily decided to rip my house apart at 8 months pregnant and I am the size of a small house! Hoping for a more restful few weeks before baby decides to make an arrival!

With love and light xo

Dear Alice - 19/20 Months

Dear Alice,

You are now 19, nearly 20 months old!

One of the biggest changes in you over the past month or so has been your development with words. It would be impossible to list all the words you know - every day you surprise us! You are also starting to put mini sentences together to let us know what you want. I would guess at maybe 100+, with some of my favourite new phrases being "silly sauage" and "it's raining"!

It's brilliant being able to communicate with you more - you also have impeccable comedy timing!

Along with the word development, you have also started becoming much clearer with your numbers, and can count to 10 with a bit of help. You can also identify colours - red, yellow, green, blue, pink, orange, silver, black and purple. However you will only do this when not directly asked!

You love singing songs, which means I am pretty much constantly singing nursery rhymes at you - you love Twinkle Twinkle the most. A few nights ago I put you down to sleep and you sung it to yourself for 15 minutes and I nearly spent all night crying with how adorable you are.

You also love Old Macdonald, however he only ever seems to have ducks and cats...


You have become obsessed with Mickey Mouse and Peppa Pig. You alternate between which one, and sometimes you want both at the same time.

Yesterday we discovered that you love piggy backs, and I have also now discovered that you are VERY HEAVY! We weighed you on the scales and you are over 2 stone.


Your hair is the most beautiful thing in the entire world. It curls into the most beautiful ringlets and I could stroke it all day. However you do not approve, and would rather spend the entire day looking like a mad scientist.

You have still been pushing your look with tantrums and throwing things, but you are also incredibly adorable, and know fully well how to use that to your advantage. You flirt shamelessly with strangers, singing them twinkle twinkle and blowing kisses.

We moved house last month, after spending months getting the new house ready. I hope you will be very happy here, and we will have lots of fun times. You seem to like it so far - but your room is the best in the house!

We are nearly at Christmas, and I can't wait to have a first Christmas with you where you understand a little more of what's going on. We bought you an advent calender but it ended badly - lots of tantrums and you demanding "more chocolate!". Perhaps next year!


Every month I think I couldn't love you anymore, and every month I do! You are incredible Alice.

With love and light xo

Big Move

We currently haven't got the internet, so I'm writing this ready for posting later. Hopefully the internet will be sorted from Saturday onwards, when normal blogging service will resume! I'll steal Mitch's phone to post this later.

The big move is done! It was a lot less painful than it could have been, mainly down to the amount of people we had helping us and moving boxes / unpacking / carrying. It's times like this that make me realise how lucky I am to have an army on hand when needed. We got the majority of the move complete on Sunday, with just unpacking and a few boxes on Monday / Tuesday.

The house is still somewhat in a state of disarray, but it's definitely getting there. Hopefully a visit to IKEA over the weekend will help us get a little more organized. I'm going to take some pictures soon, but I'm still sorting and faffing so I'm not quite ready. But, even though there are still boxes everywhere, we're already appreciating the extra space. I'm excited to sort out Alice's playroom, and there is just going to be so much more room for all of us. We're so lucky that we were able to move and rent the flat out, it's just the best of both world for us as we're still paying towards a mortgage, but we have a much bigger space.

Alice is one month old tomorrow, which is just both exciting and terrifying! So much has changed, but I'll try and find time to write an entry about her tomorrow.

So we're here, and we have somewhere to sleep and somewhere to eat. And it was the right move.

With love and light xo

12lb 8oz!

Just had Alice weighed and she is now 12lb 8oz - fantastic! Still dead on the 50th percentile for her weight so I'm really happy. It's really easy to worry that I'm not feeding her enough or that she's not getting the nutrients she needs from breastmilk so I'm always quietly relieved to find out we're doing okay.

She had her second set of jabs yesterday, and although the injections themselves weren't as bad (she'd stopped crying by the time we left the room), she had a really fussy evening where nothing seemed to settle her. I eventually gave in and gave her a little Calpol, and that seemed to calm her down. Poor little one!

I bought a few more of the nappies we like (BumGenius if I haven't said that enough times on here :P) so we won't have to wash as often if I don't get chance / the weather is crap. I do love nappies.

Stressing a little about the big move this weekend but I haven't really had chance to pack anything else up - I don't really get time to do anything myself with Mitch away. So it's going to be a busy few days over the weekend - luckily he has Mon / Tue off work next week to help with the move and unpacking, and I can supervise from the sofa!

If I don't get chance to blog more - wish us luck with the move!

With love and light xo

Swimming!

I haven't updated in a little over a week, but all is well here :)

Last week I took Alice swimming for the first time, to a mother and toddler session at the local pool. If I'm honest, I was apprehensive that she'd scream after about a minute, but it was actually really lovely! We stayed in for a little over 20 minutes, and only got out of the pool for fear of the babies getting cold. She did scream when getting changed, but was a little angel for the rest of the time.

Some snaps of her snazzy little costume -

Alice has now moved up to the 3-6 month clothes, which I can be honest and was a little sad about! But, we now have tons of new clothes to wear, so expect lots of outfit photos coming up, including some ridiculous clothes that I have bought - goth skirt / punk outfits.

The house we were originally going to move into has fallen through, but we're moving to another one instead now - nothing is simple! We moved all our boxes / books etc. over the weekend, so all that's left to move are clothes and furniture, which we're going to move across on Sunday.

The new house is a lot bigger, and will give us plenty of room to play and spread out. I'm very much looking forward to being in the new house, but I just hate moving. I hate the disorganisation, the mess, and not knowing where anything is! For someone that hates moving house I seem to have done it a lot lately, but hoping this is the last move for a while!

The weather has been great, so we've tried to spend a lot of time outside and getting fresh air. Alice really seems to like the outside, so I'm looking forward to our new little garden with a little bit of grass, and an outside table and chairs.

I took these photos of her last weekend, and just can't believe how grown up / big she looks. The time really is flying by.

So everything's a little hectic here, with moving / packing, but I'll try and write a little more this week! I also have big wedding news so I'll get round to writing about that soon :)

With love and light xo

35+5 - Baby shower!

Oh my gosh, it is now less than a month till babies due date! How crazy is that? I keep changing my mind, I'm torn between wanting her to come ASAP, and wanting another 9 months to prepare! I would definitely like an actual specific date that she will be here, all this guessing is too difficult to deal with!

First things first, my results came back all okay from the gestational diabetes test, so all is well on that front thankfully :).

This week is also my last week at work - still sorting out bits and pieces so it definitely hasn't quite sunk in yet that this time next week I won't actually be going. I have no idea how that will feel to be honest - my mum seems to think baby will be here by then so I won't actually get the week off I've been dreaming of! I've got lots of little jobs to keep me busy anyway, but I'm going to try and get some rest too on the advice of everyone else!

Last Friday night was my surprise baby shower - courtesy of the amazingly sneaky Chloe Steel, and my super secret family!

I literally had no idea at all, and it was just amazing. I could gush about what a fantastic time I had for the next few hours, but it was so lovely to see everyone and have a giggle playing ridiculous games, including:

- make a baby out of plasticine (see right for evidence!)

- put the nappy on the bear

- human nappies

- pass the baby in an unfit fashion!

It was so fantastic to see everyone and eat lots of tasty cupcakes! We got given so many lovely things, everyone was so generous, we will literally have the best dressed baby in the universe! And in true fashion, the baby shower ended up in the pub at the end of the street playing pool at 1am.

We spent all day Saturday running baby related errands, including sorting out all the clothes into sizes and what we had / hadn't got etc., so I now feel about ten million times more prepared! Also bought a few baby bits and pieces, including a moses basket and changing mat, so feel much more organised now - minus the occasional minor freakout.

Yesterday involved sorting out some more housey things which I promise I'll blog about soon, just don't like to jinx them! And this afternoon the midwife is coming to the flat to create my birth plan. Got some great choices to make, including tear or episiotomy? Can I just tick the neither box please?!

All in all, has been a busy week! So if baby can listen up and at least give me a week off work that would be much appreciated...

With love and light xo

32 - The story so far...

Picture taken with my shiny new camera remote!
So today I am 32 weeks pregnant, or 8 weeks (56 days) away from my due date, a date that still seems a distance of about ten thousand years into the future!

I'm still feeling mostly very good, with very little to complain about really. Back and hip ache have been getting to be a daily thing, but nothing too crippling and certainly nothing I can't cope with – and who am I to moan about daily back rubs and getting the sofa to myself!

I've had a busy few weeks at work, and I'm really trying as hard as I can to complete my teacher training work. The deadline is the 11th June, but obviously I'm going to be somewhat preoccupied through April / May / June, so trying to get as much as possible done beforehand. This was really worrying me last week, and there have been more than a few tears shed, but I'm only one person, there are only so many hours in the day, and I can only do so much! Written myself a schedule of things I can be doing next week so really hoping to get some big chunks done.

Another thing that's been on my mind over the past few weeks is a bit of an exciting development house wise! I'm going to keep it quiet for the next few weeks, but if anyone is looking for somewhere to rent sometime in the next few months then get in touch with me :)

I've finally managed to get off my lazy bum and start doing some exercise this past month or so, not tons but more than before! Going swimming once a week, which I suppose is better than nothing. Would love to get out and do some more walking but the weather's not really been fit, hoping that this changes soon and we can get in a few nice walks before baby is here!

Sleeping a lot better lately, seem to be dead to the world this week, maybe waking up every few hours to change sides and relieve an achy hip, but other than that very well! Counting my blessings with this at the moment, as I know I'll be up every 10 seconds to pee soon enough! I'm thinking it's because my bump is so high at the moment, that she's not really pushing on my bladder. Also not waddling yet, again because I think she's so high up! This has been leading to a lot of being out of breath from going up 2 flights of stairs though.

The movements I've been feeling have definitely changed, from defined pokes and prods to more “swooshy” (?) movements, like I can feel her moving around and changing position and my whole tummy changes shape – it can be quite strange / surreal! Tried to get a video last night but she stopped as soon as I started filming obviously.

I've had 3 antenatal classes so far, and they've actually been really useful and interesting. They've only been 45 / 50 minute classes, but we've covered relaxation methods, breathing, birthing and labour positions, and other bits and pieces. The physio that takes the class is really fantastic and a big hypnobirth / natural birth advocate. Although a lot of the stuff she's going through is stuff I've already read and I'm aware of, it's very reassuring to hear a medical person repeating things back to you. I do feel a bit like the odd one out at the classes though, but I've always been a bit odd I suppose!

In other baby news, I haven't really bought anything else or done anything else! I received a gorgeous hamper full of baby things last weekend that was very much appreciated, lots of lovely things to stash away! Bought a few bits for my hospital bag on Monday but still not got round to packing it, possibly a weekend job along with trying out the car seat? I keep putting off buying things but I will get a move on soon.

I have put myself on a nappy buying hiatus until baby comes, just because I may not even get on with the cloth nappies! We have a nice little stash now, consisting mainly of Bum Genius (a combination of the V3 BTP and All-In-Ones), TotsBots (some V1 and some V2), a few Bambooty, and just some other bits and pieces I've picked up from the pre-loved board on BabyCentre! I keep meaning to take pictures of them all so I'll try and do that soon too.

Finally, a bit of a question. Those of you that have had babies before, did you wash all the clothes before they were born?

With love and light xo

31+1 - Hard week

This week has probably been one of the toughest of the pregnancy so far, thankfully not because of baby related things, but because of life related things! However, this week also holds promise of exciting developments and changes in the future, so I'm trying to stay super positive.

Going out for a meal with my lovely boyfriend tonight to celebrate Valentine's Day and very much looking forward to good company and good food!

Not a lot to update on this week really - had another antenatal class on Wednesday focusing on relaxation methods, then was at the midwife yesterday. Had both glucose and protein in my wee sample, so got to keep an eye on these next time, but other than that everything seems okay.

Will take new bump pictures over the weekend, feel a lot bigger now! Had to give in and buy some more maternity tops to stop the "hulk" affect. Luckily found some in the sale as I am quite mean!

With love and light xo