Having a bit of a wobble today. I thought I might go overdue, and I thought I might even make it to 10 days like Violet, but I'm sort of in unchartered territory for myself now.
Woke up at 3am checking and rechecking all my facts with regards to NICE Guidlelines for induction, AIMS, research on pros and cons of induction and just generally the next steps moving forwards. I've agreed to go in and have the baby monitored tomorrow for half an hour at +12 days, then we will take it from there. I'm guessing they're going to suggest induction at +14 days and I'm going to push for monitoring again, and we will take it from there.
It's in no way that I don't want this baby out (dear God do I want this baby out right now!), but at the moment for me the risks of induction far outweigh any risks of keeping the baby in. Baby is currently happy, heart beat fine, moving fine etc. Obviously if anything weren't right I would reconsider, but research has shown that induction leads to intervention in 2/3 of births. Something like 1/5 of inductions end in caesarian and that's just not a route I can go down with the 2 other kids at home to look after!
So at the moment I'm happy to delay induction till at least 15 days over - where I wobble is homebirth at +15. At the moment I'm kind of thinking that that's a bridge we will just have to cross and evaluate when we get there. No point worrying about that just yet!
I've been trying so hard to be super positive and take a very much "baby will come when she's ready" approach, but today I just hurt and I'm tired and I'm sore from yet another sweep (Sweep number 4. Ouch.) and I just feel like this is never going to happen. Realistically I know that's not the case but I'm just so uncomfortable and fed up of being on edge all the time reading into each little twinge and trying to decide if they mean anything.
Saturday after sweep number 3 I started having regular tightenings / pains around 3ish and they carried on and off until 7/8. Every 10 mins like clockwork. We sent the kids for a sleepover and I honestly thought things were happening but was trying not to get excited. Nothing! Every night I get contractions it seems, and they just fizzle out to nothing. I've had this on and off for weeks and I'm a bit worried I'm not going to recognise the real thing till late. Realistically I know that won't happen, but it does add a bit of a "fun" element to arranging childcare / filling pool etc.
We have a birth pool inflated in our dining room and I've given up putting it up and down! It is currently just a design feature of our house. I found I can't sleep without it up as I constantly dream of going into labour and not having anything ready.
Trying to make sure the house is always clean, tidy and birth ready is a bit of a pain in the arse too. I mean we don't exactly live in squalor normally but I'm so done with trying to live in a show room! Especially when pretty much everything hurts right now.
Right - moan done! I need to suck it up and crack on. Baby will be here soon and I am incredibly lucky to be in this position. Everyone is healthy and this time next week I would assume we will have a baby. Onwards and upwards!
With love and light xo
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