Okay, so I’ve decided that I want some kind of record of this time in my life. I was trying super hard to wait until 12 weeks to start writing about it, but I just don’t want to forget all this feelings and thoughts I’m going through at the moment! I know how briefly these experiences will be around, and how fleeting these moments will be, so I want to try and keep a journal.
A brief introduction – my names Lizz and I’m 22. I live in Nottinghamshire, in a lovely little flat with my boyfriend and 2 kitty cats. They are amazing little fluff balls and I love them entirely! Obviously also love my fantastic boyfriend, who is incredibly supportive, funny and kind. :)
So I suppose now would be a good time to catch up with where I am now:
In August, I was a few days late. Without being too TMI about the whole thing, my coil ended up coming out at work, leading to mass panic and confusion on my part! I called NHS Direct from work in tears and eventually they explained sometimes this just happens, and not to worry but to take a pregnancy test just in case. I drove straight to Tesco on autopilot, and picked up a pack of tests, still expecting everything to be AOK. I drove straight home, again on autopilot, and took both tests – just for piece of mind really. I left them too it, and started putting washing away of all things! I went back a few minutes later, and both tests clearly displayed positive 2 – 3 weeks.
I don’t remember a whole lot of the next few hours, apart from lots of tears and discussions and more tears and more talking, and laying there thinking that whatever happened was going to affect every aspect of the rest of my life. We both eventually fell asleep knowing that everything was going to change.
And now here we are! Today I am 9+3 and completely comfortable and sure of the idea – we’re going to have a baby! Although this was completely unplanned (a surprise is the phrase I’m aiming for!) I think we’ve both come round to the idea much more. Obviously I can only speak for myself but personally, I feel that this is an amazing gift and was obviously meant to be. I'm a great believer in everything happening for a reason - I’ve always been a little odd, so why wouldn’t I be in the 0.8% of people! The more research I do, the more information I find out about coil failure. And I feel incredibly lucky that at least my coil came out – as removal can be quite dangerous for baby and me.
So that briefly brings us up to speed. I’ve had 2 scans at the Early Pregnancy Unit so far. The first was one to confirm “viability” because of the coil pregnancy – (the coil increases the risk of the pregnancy being ectopic). This was at about 6 weeks, and all we saw was a little bean. However we also saw a beautiful strong heartbeat. I’d like to say this was an amazing and life changing moment, but to be honest it was quite painful - I’d been told to have a full bladder and it was horrible having someone press and push upon it! However seeing bean in the right place was a massive relief, and for both of us I think it had a huge impact.
A few weeks later I had some bleeding, so after a tearful trip to casualty, and a horrid receptionist, I was scheduled for another early scan. This was a terrifying wait, and a horrible experience, but we got to see the baby again and thankfully all was well and baby measuring ahead of dates, taking me up to about 8 weeks.
Since then I’ve had a pretty textbook experience! Sickness, headaches, bloating and food aversions. However this week I actually don’t feel as bad – I haven’t been sick yet, and I mostly seem able to eat. I even managed breakfast this morning which was incredible! So fingers crossed I’m feeling okay. Just perpetually tired, but that could also be linked to the time of year, being busy at work and a busy birthday weekend.
All in all, I feel incredibly blessed to be in this position, and I’m really looking forward to being able to make notes to remind myself how I felt. My next milestone is my midwife appointment, followed hopefully by my scan a few weeks later. I’m trying not to stress about that, which I think is pretty much impossible, but I’m sure I’ll write about that soon! Also going to start taking pictures over the weekend so I can compare my expanding tummy!
With love and light xo
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