I've finally sat down to hopefully write the last part of the birth! Here are the links to Part 1 and Part 2. I wish Mitch was here to pick his brains, as I keep forgetting things - I wish I still had my birth notes but I'll try my best!
So I'd arrived back at home for about 6.30, but was struggling with the pain at this point. We ran another bath, which I jumped into and continued to focus on my breathing and relaxing. I used my Hypnobirth visualisations, and sort of went into my own world. I remember being incredibly thirsty, but unable to drink without feeling sick, so I munched on ice to cool me down and try and quench my thirst.
Mitch sat with me in the bathroom, but there wasn't really a lot he could do - I didn't want to be spoken to or touched, but having water poured over me during contractions still seemed to help. I listened to Death Cab and focused on getting through each pain, but still felt really disheartened by the fact this could be going all night.
At one point something just snapped and I couldn't be in the bath anymore. I jumped out, then back in, then out again. Nothing felt right. I lay on the bed eating ice, then leaned against the walls, then got back in the bath.
I couldn't stay still, and had completely lost the ability to relax my muscles during contractions. I was trying not to tighten my hands and face but with each contraction I was trying my hardest not to scream or shout out, and just focus on breathing and counting. I was sick a few times, and just felt awful - so warm and incredibly uncomfortable.
With hindsight, this time was probably transition, but I didn't know that at the time. If I'd known I was near the end it would have probably made everything a little more bearable. Actually, probably not! It was difficult, and I think Mitch struggled with feeling a little useless. I'd gone from being able to cope and breathe and laugh in the gaps between contractions, to literally clawing at the walls and trying not to shout out in pain.
I can't remember if it was me or Mitch who suggested it, but about 8.00 we decided to head to the hospital. I literally chucked on some jogging bottoms and a top and ran out the house, knowing I was contracting every 2 / 3 minutes for about 45 seconds, so would have to contract in the car. Being strapped into the seatbelt made everything so much worse - it felt like someone was holding me down and pushing me back when all I wanted to do was stretch and move. The 10 minute car ride seemed to take an hour, with every red light seeming to conspire against us.
We parked up, and I remember that between the car and the hospital entrance I had 2 contractions - a space of about 150m? I knew that if I wasn't further along than I'd be begging for drugs - something I'd never wanted, but I was losing the ability to cope. I had a contraction in the hospital lobby, and some people were asking if I needed a wheelchair. I remember thinking that I didn't have time for them to muck about getting a chair, so I literally ran for the lift to the labour ward.
When we arrived I was shown into the same room as before, but it was no longer a relaxing environment. I was sick some more, and the midwife asked to examine me. I couldn't bare the thought of staying still, but I needed to know if I was any closer. Thankfully, I was 7cm/8cm. Mitch rang my mum to come, and I was offered some gas and air.
The gas and air was bittersweet - it didn't seem to make thing less painful, just made me less aware in a drunken way. I hated the way it made me feel - I wasn't focused and I was less in control. But it allowed me to carry on - and I was still able to count and visualise. I kept asking them about the birthing pool, as I was desperate to get back in the water. They'd been filling it up, but it took 20 minutes to do so. I was focused on getting in the pool - I knew how much the water had helped with the contractions before. Mitch went to get bags from the car, and my mum arrived and began rubbing my back which helped a lot.
Literally 1 minute after Mitch had left the room I knew I was pushing. It wasn't something I was choosing to do, it was something my body was doing whether I liked it or not. I tried not to, but I wasn't really the one making the decisions, and my body had taken over.
I think midwives came in at this point, but I have no idea how many people or who was in the room at this point! I was just concentrating on breathing and rocking. Breathing. Rocking. Counting.
They finished filling the pool about 9.30 (I think?) and I jumped in as quickly as possible. Immediately it felt better, but I also knew that this baby was coming now. I stopped using the gas and air, and focused completely on pushing. Strangely, I found this part a lot easier than the contractions - it gave me something to focus on and the pain was much more concentrated rather than being a whole body pain.
After a little while (maybe 15 minutes? Will have to ask!) of pushing, her head crowned. I reached down and touched her, and knew she would be born soon. On the next contraction, I reached down, and caught my beautiful baby girl.
I pulled her onto my chest, and looked into her beautiful eyes for the first time. I looked at her lovely curly hair, and her beautiful fingers and toes. Immediately all the pain melted away, and I knew that in that moment we were the luckiest people in the world.
(I've obviously edited the pictures to make them internet appropriate!)
Alice Elizabeth arrived at 9.52, and we stayed in the pool for about 30 minutes after. We had our first feed, and lots of closeness.
Eventually I walked over to the bed, and Alice was taken to be weighed and checked over. She was 7lb 14oz of perfection! Mitch also managed to get his first cuddle with his little girl.
>Eventually we were taken down to the ward, where I had a lovely section all to myself for the duration of my stay in hospital!
I have only positive things to say about my birth. I found the Hypnobirthing techniques, and the birth affirmations mp3 to be incredibly helpful. I knew that my body could do this, and I could cope without intervention. I was able to stay calm, and focused, and let my body do all the hard work. I found the water birth experience to be amazing, and being able to deliver her myself was incredible.
I know I was incredibly lucky with my birth and labour, but the most lucky to have met my amazing little girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment