Cbeebies Card

I need to update properly about Alice's birthday, but just wanted to add a few pictures of the AMAZING birthday card I sent into Cbeebies that they never even showed - thus breaking both mine and Alice's hearts. They also showed some proper rubbish cards, rubbing salt into the proverbial wound!




I've given up and I'm never doing it again. I thought the card was amazing and it took me approximately forever.

However, we did have a fabulous birthday and Alice enjoyed every second. I have tons of pictures which I'll add later when I'm perhaps a bit less bitter and twisted!!

With love and light xo

Dear Alice - 1 Year

Dear Alice,

Today is your birthday! You are 1 year old – when did that happen?

This past week or so you have started standing a little on your own – unfortunately not yet long enough for me to take a picture! You only seem to do it by accident, but I don’t think it will be long till you’re standing much more.

You are talking away a lot more, and will quite happily sit and jabber to yourself! I don’t quite know what you’re trying to say but you’re very insistent.

You also point at things you want, and get very frustrated if they aren’t passed to you right that second!

You have the most brilliant little laughs and giggles, however you seem to do them whenever you’re being told off or doing something naughty! You also love to spray your yoghurt everywhere or blow raspberries all the time.

We still only have just the 2 little bottom teeth, but that doesn’t seem to stop you eating and chewing away – they are very sharp! I keep trying to check for some more teeth but you love to bite my fingers!

You have been off your food all this week, which is really hard. You normally love all food and you’ve just been picking and choosing tiny bits. Hopefully you’ll be back to your normal self soon. However this month you’ve still enjoyed blueberries and grapes.

I hope you have a brilliant day – we have loved the past year of having you in our lives, and can’t wait to see how you change and grow in birthdays to come.

With love and light xo

1 Year Tomorrow...

Tomorrow is Alice’s birthday, so it has been an entire year she has been in our life. I’m trying to think back to how I felt / what I thought this time last year. I’ve been reading through a few blog entries, and looking through pictures to try and remember, but I can’t seem to capture it.

Obviously a mixture of scared and excited and nervous, but it just seems like a complete another life ago. I can’t capture my feelings there, because I almost see myself as another person. I’d say that I just can’t believe how much our lives have changed, but in reality, I can’t believe how much I have changed.

Sometimes I just can’t quite believe how incredibly lucky we are. Alice is a brilliant and beautiful little girl, who every day becomes more curious about the world surrounding her. I can’t wait to watch her grow and learn, and be there for her.

Yet part of me is more scared than I’ve ever been. I almost feel like this is where the real parenting starts. Before now, we’ve been pretty much concentrating on keeping her alive. How am I going to cope with tantrums and discipline? How am I going to teach her things I barely know? How can I help her grow, yet encourage her independence?

I want what every parent wants – a child who is happy and well loved. Yet I know I’m supposed to be her guide and her facilitator, but also her friend and her parent, and at times, her enemy. How are all these roles balanced? And when Alice eventually grows and develops into an adult – how do you sit back at the end of the day and feel confident that you did a good job?

I want so many things for her, and I’m terrified of failing. I know than in reality there is no outright failure, but that I am going to make bad decisions and make wrong choices. And obviously so will Alice. But it’s how we both deal with these failures that really makes the difference.

In reality – this thought terrifies me more than the idea of birth and having a baby. I now have a lovely little child, who I am responsible for. For me, it feels like parenting is only just beginning.

But, we’ve gotten through the first year! We have had an incredible year, and here’s to many more.

I really hope to be able to carry on blogging for a while - as for me it's quite cathartic both writing and re-reading some of these entries. Especially with another exciting year coming up, including my wedding in 64 days...!

With love and light xo

Alice Blowing Raspberries

Dear Alice - 11 Months

Dear Alice,

This month you are 11 months old. When did that happen?!

I seemed to curse myself last time I wrote this, as I said you were sleeping through. Since then you have been waking up once a night at 2am, which is manageable but frustrating!

You have started feeding yourself with a spoon which is quite a messy business! You are also loving blueberries and would quite happily eat a punnet every day.

You had your first go in a paddling pool and your first ice lolly in the sunshine. You loved both and had a lovely splash! You also had your first go on a swing and you were a bit unsure to start with, but ended up loving it. Obviously penguin came too.

You've started dancing to music all the time - you have better moves than me. Not difficult.

We went away to Filey for the weekend and had a lovely little break with just the 3 of us. We went swimming, played games, and just chilled out. You took me to Bridlington for Mother's Day where we had donuts on the seafront. It was a brilliant weekend away and we all got chance to relax a little.

This month I also started back at work, which is sad for so so many reasons. I'm only going back 2 days a week but it is still hard. I would love to win the lottery and look after you every day, but you are having the best time with your 2 grandmas (or should I say nanny and mama!). I just know how lucky how I am to be able to go back part time, and that you have childcare I can trust.

We have also had your first recognisable words - we've had lots of sounds before but I would say these are definite words. We have "dat" for cat, and "t" for thankyou / ta. I also think you're understanding a lot more than you're saying - you put your arms up for a hug and definitely understand "no" but you choose to ignore it!

We love you more than anything in the world,

With love and light xo