Yawn!

I haven't posted for ages, and it seems the longer I leave it the harder it becomes - so much changes every day and I struggle to catch up with it all.

I think one of the reasons I keep putting it off is our sleep issues. We've had a really bad few weeks, and I just don't want to sound like a moaner. Last week I was just fed up. I felt lonely, and I felt embarrassed - like it was completely my fault she wasn't sleeping.

I kept thinking it was because we've "spoiled" her. She's never been left to cry for a prolonged amount of time. She gets fed when she wants it. Cuddled when she wants it. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

I think there's a lot of pressure to get your baby to be a "good" baby. And good seems to be defined by sleep. They can do whatever they want in the day time, as long as they sleep 7pm - 7am. Alice doesn't sleep, but she is an amazing baby. She giggles and laughs and plays and is just amazing to be around.

But, that doesn't mean I don't get tired! And I got myself in a bit of a downward spiral - I'm not prepared to let her cry but that doesn't mean I don't want to moan about it and vent. It doesn't mean I enjoy getting up 5/6 times a night still. But it also doesn't mean I should be guilted into doing something I don't feel comfortable with.

I'm lucky to have a lot of amazing support around me. But last week, I felt lonely. And tired.

I felt like I was failing. We were all tired, and I was completely blaming myself. Plus it was a miserable cold week, and we were stuck in the house a lot. I was just generally feeling a bit grey. And I like to act like everything's fine, so I wasn't talking about it either.

This week, I feel less tired, and happy! Alice still doesn't sleep but that is fine. Besides, who wouldn't want to wake up to a smiley baby face! It's half term so Mitch is able to help more with the mornings, and I'm getting an extra 30 mins sleep in the morning.

I also want to catch up and do some blogging, as Alice is just changing so much. What happened to my tiny baby who just lay there? I also have about ten million pictures and videos to post which I'll hopefully get round to doing soon.

Moral of the story - some babies don't sleep. Bring their mums chocolate.

With love and light xo