12 Days

I haven't forgotten about the blog, and I have about amillion and one things to say, but I just don't know how to write them down! The time is absolutely flying by, every time I look at the clock it's as if another day has passed and I have no idea how to slow it down. It's the scariest thing in the world, as I know I'm going to blink and she won't be this tiny little thing anymore.

The first 10 days of breastfeeding were / are incredibly difficult. I thought we'd cracked it a little more yesterday but we've had a very fussy and hungry baby today so I think saying we're doing well is a bad idea! I could literally not have carried on with feeding without Mitch's support - bringing me drinks and holding my hand when I was crying because it hurts, or because our little screaming baby won't latch despite the fact I know she's super hungry.

We really struggled between day 3/4 and day 8 - she wouldn't latch for an hour each time and we'd both be getting more and more upset, with her occasionally being passed to dad to calm down before we tried again. Knowing that she was hungry and that I wasn't able to feed her was killing me, but through a mix of expressing, technique, and perseverance we seem to be a little better now.

I think for me the hardest thing about breastfeeding is not knowing how much she's getting, or indeed if she's getting any at all. Especially on a day like today where she's feeding constantly - you can't help but doubt the quantity / quality. The health visitors coming tomorrow to weigh her and I'm dreading how much more weight she's lost. At 4 days she'd lost 4% (they allow up to 10%) so I'm hoping and praying she's not lost a lot more.

Add to this the mix of hormones and lack of sleep and new parent worries and breastfeeding becomes much more difficult than I ever imagined! However it's also amazing and perfect and the best thing in the world when it's going well. I'm also getting super strong arms which will be a bonus for climbing :P

Yesterday I also fed in public for the first time, in the middle of a park full of people! I was really scared / apprehensive, but when it came down to it she needed feeding and it didn't really even cross my mind until I was already doing it. My mum was with me and sort of covered me over with a blanket and sat next to me to shield me a bit, but no-one even looked up. I've also fed in front of lots of family members I didn't think I'd be able to, but the moment and feeling of embarrassment disappears as soon as she starts crying - she needs feeding and she is my priority!

I know I've just written an essay about boobzzz but that's pretty much all I am at the moment - food on legs! I just wanted to write about how hard it is, so hopefully other people can be prepared. But it's so worth it, don't let me put you off! And it's getting easier every day :)

Sleep wise we're doing okay, or as well as can be expected. For example, last night I was up 10.00 - 11.30, 1.00 - 2.30, 4.30 - 6 then up at 7.30. Trying to take naps in the day but that's tricky as I want to be able to do things and tidy and be a human being!

We've been really lucky to have had some beautiful sunshine this past few weeks, so even though we've not been able to go far, we've been aiming to have at least a little wander round the block every day - just to get some fresh air and make me feel a bit less like a prisoner! I'm loving pushing the pram around, and so far I only have good things to say about our pram - fully recommended so far!

I will get round to writing up my birth story soon, hopefully before I forget it! It may have to be written in parts though. I know this entry is long and boob related, but to summarise - we are all fine, Alice is beautiful, and we are all very much in love :).

With love and light xo

27+1 - Best / Worst - Second Trimester

Okay, so following on from my previous entry (here!) where I talked about the best / worst things about the first trimester, here are my favourite and least favourite things about the second trimester!

The Best Things

1. Energy. Getting some energy back has been fantastic! I must stress that it's only a little bit of energy, I'm not bouncing round the house everyday, but it's been a lot better than the first trimester where I wanted to curl up and sleep constantly. I think this might be on the downturn now though...

2. It's not a secret! People feeling like they can talk to you about the baby / ask you about pregnancy is amazing, I really hated not being able to talk about it for the first 12 weeks and I just love talking about babies to anyone and everyone! Having a noticeable bump also leads to lots of lovely random conversations.

3. Movement. This is probably the best thing, as starting to feel the baby move was a huge step for me and didn't happen till about 22 weeks because of the anterior placenta. Very reassuring, always makes me smile - even when it's 3am and I'm trying to sleep! Again something that the novelty apparently wears off soon...

4. No morning sickness! Although I was still sicky in the mornings till about 18 weeks, it definitely lessened after about 15 and now it's quite rare I feel sick / am sick. I mentioned in the other best / worst, but I really really hate being sick. I feel so much sympathy for the people who are sick all through their pregnancies.

5. Gender. And beautiful 3D / 2D scan pictures. Obviously finding out cupcake was doing okay was a priority for our 20 week scan, but finding out that she was a girl was just incredible. We didn't get great pictures from our 20 week scan, but I'm over the moon with our 3D pictures and video - it was an incredible experience and I'm so so glad we went!

6. Pram / nursery. Getting these things sorted was a huge weight off my mind, and also made both of us much more excited. I love our little baby room, and our beautiful space rocket pram!

7. Names. Deciding on a name for our beautiful little girl was definitely a highlight. Just can't wait to share it with everyone :)

The Worst Things

1. Sleep. Although I said I had much more energy, I'm certainly starting to struggle to sleep, and waking up every hour or so because I've rolled onto my front or back. Lying on my front is obviously impossible, and lying on my back makes me feel sick. This has been helped greatly with the purchase of a huuuge 5ft pillow off eBay which I can wrap myself around. I think Mitch may feel a little threatened by my new cuddle replacement!

2. Pain. The beginnings of back / hip pain are certainly coming into force now, but only over these last few weeks. The back pain is pretty dire, and I've took a cushion to work to help. A Hello Kitty cushion no less!

3. Fat! That middle bit where you just look a bit fat is a bit rubbish, as no-one wants to ask you if you're pregnant, you're too big for normal clothes but too small for maternity clothes, and you just look like you've eaten all the pies! Rest assured, I now look preggerz.

4. Waiting. Feeling a bit like nothing exciting is happening and haven't you already been pregnant for about 10 years already? You're just stuck in the middle, and it's been aaaages since you found out, but you're not having a baby for approximately 25 years right?

There are so many more good things than bad things, but I really wanted to try and paint a fair picture! I've had a bit of sickness and grossness this trimester, but I've not had to go to hospital again, baby is doing super well, and we have a name for our lovely little girl. We are so incredibly lucky.

With love and light xo

27 - Third trimester?

I am exactly 27 weeks pregnant today! That means I have 13 weeks, or 91 days, or pretty much exactly 3 months left to go until my due date. I also think that means I’m in my third trimester today, although conflicting information seems to suggest that could be between 26 – 29 weeks. However I am a third down, so third trimester seems about right! Baby will almost certainly be late though, as she will want me to chill out and watch as much Grey’s Anatomy as possible / be a whale for as long as possible.

I’ve been a little under the weather for the past few days, experiencing my first ever migraine on Sunday night / Monday morning. I now have incredible amounts of sympathy for people that have to go through this regularly – I felt like my eyes were falling out my face! Follow this up with dizziness, sickness, and a persistent headache for a few days and you get quite a miserable Lizz. Still don’t feel 100%, but feel a lot better, and a lot less miserable! The headache seems to be slowly shifting itself, and trying very hard to drink Olympic pool amounts of water and relax as much as possible. Keep having dizzy spells when teaching so trying hard to sit down as much as possible, but it’s becoming very frustrating.

Also struggling with sleep a little at the moment, as starting to get quite uncomfortable! I seem to wake up every few hours when my hip starts to ache from being lay on it, or my back is uncomfortable. Sleeping better than a few weeks ago though so can’t really complain!

End of moaniness I promise. The blog is a little bit of a catch 22, as I find it really cathartic to write things down, but I also hate moaning about something which is so amazing and incredible that my body is doing. I’m trying to stay very positive, and mostly succeeding, apart from the odd blip that Mitch helps me through!

In baby related news, we’re really starting to get things together! Over the weekend I started putting tiny clothes away in the drawers, grouped by age group. I realised I have no concept of how quickly babies grow – I’ve read the books but it was very different being able to physically see the clothes get bigger!

As previously mentioned, the carrycot for the pram also arrived, meaning our beautiful pram is good to go. I still keep going in the spare room (or nursery I suppose!) for a push around and to admire how beautiful it is. I am lame.

Finally dragged my bum swimming last week which was surprisingly enjoyable! Hoped to make it a weekly thing, but I’m still not feeling great so giving it a miss tonight. However going to get on it again ASAP as I want to try and exercise more – I realised I’ve done barely anything for 5 months and feel so incredibly unfit. I will never get back climbing at this rate!

Also dreamed about climbing last night, which has made me realise how much I actually miss regularly going. I miss the social aspect of having a giggle with some friends, I miss spending time with Mitch doing something we both love, and I miss how much fitter it made me feel. Not that I’d change anything for the world, but really hoping to be able to take baby this time next year!

Everyone seems to be commenting on my bump these past few weeks, so I guess I must have had a bit of a growth spurt! Glad to not just be looking tubby. No stretch marks yet, although having a daily inspection to see if this has changed! Belly button also looking a little flatter and wider, so I’m not quite sure how many weeks that’s got left.

So, not much is happening here really! I finally have the 3D scan video ripped to the PC, so will edit that down to 5 minutes or so and post that in the next few days hopefully :).

With love and light xo

26+5 - Ill

Just a quick update to say all is well here, but I'm not feeling great at the moment so not blogging in any great length. Baby is well, kicking away and reminding me that she is happy in there :).

Annnnd wanted to add a little photo of our beautiful pram, as modelled by Mitch! Hoping to be feeling better soon, and back to some kind of normal updates.

With love and light xo

25+3 - Bump Photo

So here's my 25 week photo! Click here to see any of the other bump photos :).

Bought the pram today which is just sooooo exciting - it's beautiful! I keep going into the spare room just to look at it, or push it around a little. That's a bit weird right?

With love and light xo

25+2 - Happy New Year!

Happy 2011 everyone! Hope you're all as excited about the new year as I am, although obviously we have an extra special reason to be excited this year! It is now officially 103 days until my due date, which I'm sure will absolutely fly by.

I'm not feeling too fantastic, so this will just be a short post. I'm really hoping I'm not coming down with a cold or something, but just feel really rotten - achey, sore throat and pounding head. Going to spend the night on the sofa relaxing and hopefully be fine in the morning!

Cupcake has been kicking up a storm these past few days! There are no mistaking the kicks now, and they're becoming much more frequent. As of this morning I noticed that you can see them on the outside, looks very strange - like my tummy's made of jelly (thanks to Mitch for the description!)

We've been super busy these past few days - run lots of errands, seen lots of family, and become much more prepared for baby. The cot arrived yesterday, so we set that up (pictures to follow), organised cupcake's room a little more, and had a play with the car seat. I know we've got tons of time left, but this week has been our last week off together really until due day, and I do like a good organise!

Obviously last night was New Years Eve, and we went to a family party. I realised that staying up past midnight is quite difficult for me - I have no idea how much harder it will be next year! I kept feeling a sharp pain in my tummy, which worried me all night. I had it again this morning but seems to have passed now, and she's been kicking around since. Just felt like a really painful stitch, but came on all of a sudden. Will definitely keep an eye on this!

Went to see the midwife on Thursday which was fine. I saw my third different midwife in three visits, which is a little disconcerting but I suppose it's not really important. She measured my stomach and had a listen to baby - I'm measuring exactly right (25cm whatever that means?!), and cupcake sounded good - nice strong heartbeat and kicking away!

My blood pressure was quite low, about 80 / 40, when it should be about 120 / 60, but I expected that as I've been having quite a lot of lightheadedness and dizziness lately. I've always had low blood pressure and there's not really a lot that can be done! Just lots of liquids - I'm really bad at remembering to drink though. I feel like I need to set a reminder on my phone or something!

I know I forgot a belly photo this week, so will try and take one tomorrow for 25 weeks :). And will post photos of cot soon too. I think we're going pram shopping tomorrow which is super exciting - then everything big is pretty much done :D

With love and light xo

16 - Distracted!

I'm a little distracted today - I'm at work, but can't quite seem to focus - my brain seems to have been completely taken over by baby fever! This includes (but is not limited to) prams, nappies, clothes, names, nurseries, breastfeeding, furniture, sleeping, annnnnd just general babies! And this distraction has also completely taken over dreams :)

I think a lot of this has been brought on by my first proper baby shop yesterday. I've looked at bits and pieces before, but yesterday I went shopping to Meadowhall and just looked at so many adorable baby things. Zara had some gorgeous baby clothes that I just wanted to buy all of!

Looked in Mothercare at some prams too, which was really interesting. I've been looking a little bit online to get an idea of what's available / what I want / don't want, and I've been kind of "pram perving" to see what everyone else has, but yesterday was the first time I saw a pram I loved. It was the Quinny Buzz 3 wheeler, and it was just lovely - especially with the carry cot to make it into a lovely little pushchair! Just seemed so much lighter and nicer than a lot of the others, the material was really lush, the folding mechanism seems fantastic, and it would last through to toddlerhood. Been reading reviews and generally looking at in online - looks lush.

Feeling well in myself - sickness seems to have mostly gone apart from odd bits in the morning. Was sick on Monday but only because I forcefed myself cereal! Lesson learned - only eat what I want to eat. Tiredness is slipping away thankfully, although still shattered but putting that more down to work. Took advantage of the free dentist this morning - apparently I have amazing teeth!

Final thing really - going to look at the nursery this afternoon. I have no idea what to ask or look for really, so I've gathered some advice from Kate and BabyCentre! A little nervous actually, just seems so far away, and feels a little like I'm wishing time away! However I need to be organised, and I want to use this nursery so that's what I'm doing. I'll update with how it goes I guess?

Will take / post belly photos soon - has definitely developed into a little bump!

With love and light xo

13+3 - Bump Photo

Got my SLR back last night so thought I'd take some pictures of cupcake! I've had a couple of people comment on my "bump" this week but I honestly think I'm just a little tubby! However having compared it to the other picture I can see a bit of a change...

Had a bit of a panic this morning after a little bleeding, but called the emergency midwife who just told me to take it easy. Seems to all be okay now so fingers crossed cupcake was just being silly!

Felt generally okay this week, it's been great to not be feeling sick all the time! I've even managed to eat every day. Hopefully I'm out of the sickness for a little while.

Went baby shopping yesterday and I was very happy to show restraint and not buy anything! Got a bit more of an idea of things that were available etc., but some things just seem so ridiculously expensive! I wouldn't spent £150 on bedding for myself, so how could I do that for a baby?! Been reading a few design blogs for inspiration and I may attempt to make a few bits and pieces. I'd quite like to make a little quilt but my sewing skills may let me down! Also fell in love with the cute nursery decals (like wall sticker things) on etsy.com. We will see!

Looked at prams a little but they were all so confusing! What do you get in the price? What do you pay extra for? What kind? What do we need?! Argh! Will look after Christmas I think...

All in all, we're doing quite well here :). Going to make the blog public soon so trying not to be too boring, but looking forward to reading this back one day!

With love and light xo