Dear Alice - 5!

Dear Alice

Tomorrow you will be 5.

I never really thought we would get this far. I mean, I guess I knew that you reaching the age of 5 was going to happen eventually, but I could just only picture it in some sort of abstract sense, like one day I will be able to go for a wee without an audience. But when you were born, and when you were my tiny Alice, I could never quite picture that one day you would be this incredible little person with opinions and a sense of humour and emotions and feelings.

5 is my favourite. Even though you’re not quite 5 yet I’ve decided already that I want to stop you exactly where you are now and not let you get any bigger. I told you this last night, and you rolled your eyes at me and told me that if I did that you wouldn’t get a birthday cake next year and that wasn’t okay. I tried to reason that I’d just buy you a cake and you could stay 5 but your exact phrase was - “Mummy. Don’t be silly. I will keep growing for the next hundred years and then I will be older than you but I will still give you kisses.”

You are just so big now. Physically and mentally, you just seem so grown up this past few months. I don’t know if it’s being pregnant, or seeing Violet grow up, or something else - but you just seem so huge to me. You’re all legs and arms and you’re not quite sure what to do with them. All your trousers fall down because you’re just so long! You are sometimes dainty and graceful, and sometimes you look like you’re not quite sure where your legs end.

We just switched all your clothes over and it has been such a faff! You have such a specific idea about what you want to wear and what you are never going to wear ever. It just isn’t worth the battle with you, so I order loads online and let you pick what you want / send the rest back. You then insist on picking your outfits every morning, which often ends with us going to Tesco with you in a tutu and wellies. I quite like it though – I like that you have a sense of independence and an opinion, so I can’t moan too much. Also girls clothes shopping is fun.

You have just come on so so much at school. Last term you won a merit prize for getting the most merits that term, and your prize was watching a film and having sweets and hot dogs with the head teacher. I had no idea you were even getting merits at school - so it’s always nice to know you’re doing well! I get literally no information from you about what goes on at school, but it’s obviously done you the world of good. You have come on so much with sharing, kindness, patience and empathy; alongside all the academic stuff as well. The academic stuff is ace, but I’m the most proud when you tell me you got merits for being supportive, or taking another student and trying to cheer them up.

 

You are absolutely flying through reading. Considering 6 months ago you could sound out basic words, you can now read pretty much anything. You sound anything out you aren’t sure of, but will quite happily sit and read Violet a book now. Because of your reading, it seems to have opened up this whole new world to you, of questions to ask and answers to find out. “Mummy – Why does that sign say drive carefully? Why does the TV say signal input required? What’s a speed limit?” I love how inquisitive you are. I need to remind myself that when I’m explaining road signs at 7am!

You can count to 100 and beyond, and love learning how to add up and take away. However it does mean I can no longer trick you with the number of mini eggs I have eaten.

Your personality has just grown and changed and you are growing and changing every day with all this confidence and kindness. We just came back from holiday, where you signed yourself up for a talent show telling jokes. You wouldn’t tell me the joke beforehand which was slightly disconcerting but you were ace. You danced and played games, and your favourite part of the holiday was the 2p machines apparently. You won some key rings which you shared with Violet, and most of the time you show nothing but kindness and empathy.

You can be a bit of a sensitive soul / mardy grump depending on whether you ask me or Mitch. Things upset you easily, and you can’t handle what you deem as not fair. Lots of things aren’t fair unfortunately, and I find myself repeating the standard parenting response - "Life’s not fair”. You can take a bit of coaxing and calming down over some things, and you get anxious and worried about things. Given the choice, you would stay at home with me all day every day.

You write little sentences and stories round the house, which don’t have any spaces in so generally need reading phonetically and the gaps need putting in to make sense. You sneak love notes into you boyfriends (boyfriend, I know!) bag and if I leave a shopping list around the house you will always add a few items. Normally cake.

You are incredibly kind and beautiful inside and out - you are hard work but you are my favourite Alice in the world.

With love and light xo

Happy (Almost!) Birthday Baby Violet

Just a quick one tonight as I might not get chance tomorrow. But, Happy Birthday to my sweet Baby Violet!

This time last year, I was trying to decide if my waters had broken, and having a wander round the block to try and make something happen. I walked up to my mum and dads, and Alice had gone off to  Mitch's mum and dads for a sleepover incase something did happen. We walked through the forest, and it was a day exactly like today. Warm, golden, and completely calm.

(Above picture taken 3 hours before baby was born!)

This time last year, I was so worried. Worried about logistical things - I was super overdue and trying to argue against induction. Worried about my home birth I so desperately wanted. Absolutely worried about my little (or not so little!) baby, and worried about my big Alice and how she would cope with the changes.

I wish I could say I'm not worried right now, but I think that is a constant as a parent!!

But, I no longer have to worry about how I could possibly love anyone as much as my Alice. Through the past year my heart has filled and expanded so much it sometimes feels like my chest could burst. My love for both my girls has grown - seeing them both interact and learn together makes me incredibly proud, and I feel so blessed to have such angels.

Left picture is about 15 mins old

Of course this past year has been difficult, seemingly impossible at times. In the beginning, I had no idea how on earth we would ever get to 1 year without one of us dying of exhaustion! I couldn't have coped without my amazing family and friends, offering help, support, biscuits and advice. Mainly biscuits. Everything's better with biscuits.

My beautiful baby Violet (do I have to stop adding the baby part yet?) is the light of my life. She is calm, sweet, beautiful, and just a perfect baby. She is the happiest soul I have ever met! She lights up when anyone talks to her, particularly Alice, and I just can't imagine a time without her in my life.

I know this next year will bring it's own challenges - seriously, what do I do if they both go run in opposite directions? But, every year with my girls is a complete gift.

Happy Birthday pudding. I love you bery bery much.

With love and light xo

Dear Alice and Violet - 38 months and 8 months!

I've been putting off and putting off writing as I seem to never get a minute to sit, but then I remembered how much I loved reading through these so trying to make more of an effort! So we've missed a few months but I'll pick up where we left off!

Dear Baby Violet (when will you become Just Violet I wonder?),

You are now 8 months old! I have no idea how much you weigh but you are huge, with rolls upon rolls and the smushiest little face in the world.

You are still the most content little bean in the entire world. You are happy just to be surrounded by people and things, and happy to play, happy to walk, happy to sleep, just happy to be anywhere! The only time you get grumpy is if I nip out the room and leave you alone – you're fine if Alice is there but obviously you've never had to be alone before!

You started crawling maybe 2 weeks ago, and now nothing is stopping you – you are so quick! Double quick if there's something left on the floor that perhaps you shouldn't have. Which is quite tricky as Alice has a habit of leaving out all her tiny toys that are just Baby Violet mouth sized.

Alice still loves you more than anything, but this crawling thing has confused her a little bit. She wants to play with you, but she doesn't want you touching any of her stuff. And of course everything is hers. So she now takes the iPad under the little table so you can't get it. Sorry!

Food-wise you are again a little gem. We were trying to do BLW like we did with Alice, but you much prefer mush and only get angry if it's not being shovelled into your mouth fast enough. You like feeding yourself cheerios for breakfast, individually, which takes a painstakingly long time. You love greek yoghurt with fruit mixed in, you love anything with sweet potato in, and you just like digging in to whatever we're having.

Sleep wise things are on the up too! I made a difficult decision about a month ago to switch to formula as we were having a really tough time. I was up every hour through the night and then up at 5 with Alice, and just struggling to even walk the next day. It was just too tricky, so we switched so I could have a bit of help. Now you just wake up once in the night normally around midnight, then sleep to around 5ish.

You have two naps a day, and you are so good at putting yourself to sleep. You are like clockwork – up for 3 hours then you want a nap! You have a great little routine.

Alice likes to call you her “little grub”. I have no idea where she's got this from, but she asks for kissies from little grub all the time! Tonight you were giving out kisses and cuddles and giggles and Alice was lapping it up! She is your all time favourite person and you love laughing at her!

We've all got another cold, and you have particularly become another snot monster at the moment. You have had so many colds! I'm hoping you're getting them all out the way before I go back to work. Which is next week :(. Sorry to be leaving you little squish, but you are going to be so happy with all the exciting people you are going to play with!

You are so tiny, and it will be so hard leaving you, but I know you will be fine because you will be a happy grub, and you'll be with your big sister.

Dear Alice,

You are now 38 months old. You seem to have shot up lately, and you're so tall but all your clothes are now too short but baggy! You are now definitely not a toddler, but a beautiful little girl with this mass of crazy curly hair which always looks a complete mess, but you wouldn't be an Alice without it.

Every day you are becoming more and more independent. You like to do your own shoes (which considering there's a 50% chance of getting them on the right feet, you get wrong 99% of the time) help get yourself dressed, brush your own teeth etc. This also means that everything takes 10 times aslong but you've got to learn I suppose!

You have dropped your afternoon nap – sad times! I know I've been so lucky that you've had it for so long, but you are now too big. You often fall asleep in the afternoon if we nip somewhere in the car, but I think naps are no more.

You like to have your nails painted, and when Violet goes for her morning nap you often ask for “pretty princess” nails. This would make my old self laugh, as I was trying to be so gender neutral, but you love the girly things! We always have to have matching nails. Today you asked for black, which would have made me happy but I didn't think it was appropriate!

At easter Mama did you an easter egg hunt which was literally your favourite thing in the world. Every time you found one you did a little squeal giggle and jumped up and down! Then when you'd collected them all in your basket (which took a while because we kept taking them out again), you made everyone sit down and completely unprompted you shared them out. Awwwww!

Tonight you requested to go nappy-less to bed. Let's see how this goes...

You also had a 3rd birthday party! Lots of people came and you got a bit overwhelmed and basically just spent 2 hours on the swing in the garden. But after, you told me it had been the past party ever and you were very happy and that you loved me lots.

Favourite word you say at the moment - bery."It is bery bery good being here isn't it mummy!"

We've just got back from an amazing holiday in Center Parcs, where you had the best time ever! You were swimming with your arm bands, going down all the big slides with everyone, going on all the parks and the beach. You were so well behaved and just had the best time. Then since we've got back you have had a bit of a grump, I think you had post holiday blues - it happens to us all! But you seem to be back to my lovely Alice now.

Today you have been obsessed with talking about bones. The other day it was noses. A few days ago it was willies. Since you've become 3 you've become obsessed with trumps and poo! You are hilarious and I have the best and the weirdest conversations with you. I'm pretty convinced that you also think I am a complete idiot – e.g. “Don't be silly mummy, that's not a dinosaur. It's a stegosaurus.”

 

I am also leaving you to go back to work (part time) next week. I'm starting a new job where I'll be away from you for a day and a bit longer, but will have 11 weeks off with you a year (term time only). So hoping it's the right decision and you're both happy, as that's obviously all I want!

I'm going to try and not leave this so long next time but making no promises!

Love you both so much,

With love and light, mummy x

Birthday Party

A few snaps from Alice's birthday party...






















With love and light xo

Dear Alice - 2 Years Old!

Dear Alice,

Happy Birthday my little ducklet - you are now 2 whole years old!

We had a birthday party for you at the weekend, as we were on holiday for your actual birthday and didn't make a fuss. You insisted on dressing like a fairy princess all day, and acted like one all day too! You loved having everyone there, pulling faces, playing with bubbles, and being the centre of attention. You grasped the concept of cards and presents very quickly!

I must admit I got a little tearful when the day was done - you have grown and changed so much in the past few weeks even, let alone in the past few years. You are such a little person now, with opinions and ideas and dreams.

You can now say maybe 200 words, including sentences like "We go to the park first, then lunch". The health visitor came to do your 2 year review today and was very impressed by your vocabulary, particularly "hyena", "centipede" and "magenta"!

You have a sense of where people are and what they are doing - you know daddy is at work in the daytime and you like to call him and talk to him. You have proper phone conversations and understand what kind of things to say / questions that are asked. You also know when to say things like "see you later" and "miss you".

You say "I love you" all the time to get out of trouble. You also get into a lot more trouble and are more difficult to reason with, although you do understand exactly what we're saying!

You lead me by the hand everywhere and insist I come too, which is both adorable and can be a little wearing. You normally only want me to come and look at a raisin on the floor or something.

You make friends everywhere we go - parks / swimming / at the shops. You will literally stop and talk to everyone which makes a 5 minute journey take a lot longer!

It's becoming super difficult to get you to nap, and you haven't slept at all for the past few days. This makes mummy sad as she would quite like a nap sometimes! Has been forever since I had a nap!

You kind of understand you're having a sister, and where they are, and you'll give my tummy a kiss most days and say hello. I don't think you really understand the implications of this unfortunately!

You had your first go on an aeroplane, which you loved. You also expressed a very strange and adorable obsession with a mariachi band, which you've asked for every day several times since we've been back! On holiday you loved swimming, eating sand, and playing on the park.

We've tried big girl bed again. Big girl bed is a no go area.

Someone I work with gave us lots of outdoor type toys and you are loving them! You particularly like the toy castle, and drawing on the ground with chalks.

Today you were measured and were too big for the health visitors chart! You were 98th percentile for height, and 93rd for weight. I looked on the chart and you are the average height for a 3 1/2 year old. Stop growing so much!

Neither of us can believe you're 2, and as always, we love you more than anything in the world.

With love and light xo