Emma's Wedding

Also realised I never added any pictures of you being an adorable flower girl for Auntie Emma's wedding!




















With love and light xo

Dear Alice - 27 Months

Dear Alice,

You are now just over 27 months old, although I had to count that as now I just say 2 and a bit! I have no idea how much you weigh - I just asked your dad and he estimated you weigh about the same as a large sack of potatoes. Although you are probably not as lumpy.

Your language is better every day - you now use full sentences all the time, including conjoining words like because, almost, instead etc. You also use the right tense the majority of the time, and you constantly show me how silly I am! The other day I asked you if Lola wanted a tip top, and you looked at me like the biggest fool in the world, and deadpanned - "No mummy. Don't be silly. Lola's a cat. Cats don't likey tip tops."

I love your use of the word "likey" for everything and make no effort to correct it. I also like that you call the puffin a muffin, so will never ever correct you.


Your sentences have certainly led to you expressing your opinion a lot more, and we have most definitely had some epic melt downs. You get frustrated very easily, and you want your own way all the time - obviously not possible. This week we've introduced the naughty step a little, with some success. It seemed to work well at the beginning, but at the moment you ask to go there - not quite the reaction we had in mind! Perhaps we need to install some spikes or something?

We introduced the big girl bed a few weeks ago, which I had been really worried about doing - you were sleeping so well and napping so well I didn't want to ruin it all! However you completely surprised me and it was very successful, quite easily. We've had a few nights of disaster, and a few napless days, but nowhere near what I expected. You still go to sleep around 7 and sleep till about 6am, with a little nap in the afternoon most days.

You are pretty anti pushchair at the moment, but you are quite happy to walk either holding my hand or pushing your own pushchair. This is fine, but it means it takes us approximately 10 hours to get anywhere! You also inevitably decide at some point that you want carrying which can lead to a total melt down when I can't carry you for miles being 8 months pregnant!

You learned to jump, and you are a constant little bouncing bean of energy. You do not stop moving or dancing at any point throughout the day, unless I bring in the iPad parent temporarily. I wish that we could be a family that doesn't watch TV or iPad or whatever, but you are pretty crazy, and mummy needs to sit down sometimes. You can tell me I'm a failure when you're older ;)

After the potty success of a few months ago we have attempted it again a few times with no success. I'm fairly sure you know what the potty is for, but have no interest in sitting on it for longer than 30 seconds, and I have no interest in forcing you to! You're a bright kid - I'm sure you'll figure it out sooner or later!

Your favourite things to do are still singing and reading. Currently you are loving The Gruffalo / Gruffalo's Child which I have to read many times a day, but daddy reads it better. You love to sing pretty much anything, but particularly "Miss Polly had a dolly" and "Dingle Dangle Scarecrow" at the moment. Sometimes you tell me off for singing though, as apparently you are much better.

You also love to play with your doctors set and train set. About 30 times a day we have to listen to my heartbeat and your little sisters heartbeat too, which is pretty adorable until you get the scissors out to remove my nose.

I had to crowd source the internet for some crazy hair control ideas as you were beginning to look less adorbz, and more Stig of the Dump. We are now under control for the most part, although you do not like having it brushed / touched / looked at for longer than 10 seconds.

We went on holiday to Heacham for a few days this month, and you had a brilliant time. The weather was absolutely melting, so you loved the beach; lots of ice creams; paddling; swimming; feeding the ducks; making sand castles; dancing party times and just being with daddy for a week. You were a joy to take on holiday, although we all came back pretty shattered.



The weather has been super hot for a few weeks, so we've been making tons of use of the garden, and eating boxes upon boxes of ice lollies. We bought you a little water table which you're obsessed with, and you like to water the plants for me every day.

It's really not long now until your baby sister is here, and we talk about her all the time. You keep telling me that you're going to meet her soon, and you love her a lot. I hope both of these things are true! I keep finding myself getting teary and wondering how on earth she is going to fit into our little routine, and how on earth I could possibly love anyone as much. Mainly I wonder if I will ever have time to brush my teeth ever again.

You helped me get her room more prepared this morning, after a bit of an incident involving your dad and a foot and the ceiling. I'm hoping she stays away for a few more weeks so I can enjoy my time with my big girl. We all love you very much pudding!

With love and light xo

34+5 - Growth Scan

I went for the growth scan yesterday, and I'm happy to report that baby wasn't 25lb! She was measuring exactly perfect for dates, and they gave her an estimated current weight of about 5lb 8oz - not super accurate obviously as based around ultrasound but reassuring to here they don't think she's quite ready yet. A normal amount of fluid too, so no further tests needed. No idea why I'm measuring big but I just think the baby is long like Alice.

No pictures as you couldn't see a lot in the scan, a foot here or there but baby is too big for posing! I asked them to check and we're definitely still team girl which is a relief - I love boys but I don't think he'd appreciate a pink room!


Plasterer came today so we no longer have a hole in the ceiling thankfully, and when it's painted at the weekend should hopefully be able to get the last few bits up and sorted. Also intending to pack a bit of a hospital bag as a "just in case".

Started a baby pool like I had with Alice - Mitch was the only person to guess the date right last time! I think there may be chocolate based prizes for the winner? Have a guess!
http://bebepool.com/go/?a=lizz&view=list

With love and light xo

34+4 - Large For Dates

Trying out the fancy new Blogger app at 5am so excuse any spelling mistakes - realised I've not been updating much so may as well make use of some quiet time!

I had my 34 week midwife appointment yesterday, which was a little more eventful than originally planned. I have been measuring a few cm's too big the whole way through this time, and was still a little big yesterday. They've referred me for a scan this morning to have a look at baby and see if I've got like a cat in there as well or something. 

On the one hand, I'm looking forward to seeing baby again today. Fingers crossed she's still a girl or there will be one tiny boy in some ridiculous dresses. Also looking forward to (hopefully!) confirmation that baby is head down and good to go. Always nice to see baby too, although Mitch can't come because of work which is a bit rubbish. 

On the other hand, I do worry a little. But then I worry about everything. The concern with a fundal height that is large for dates is that your baby is going to be like 20lb! However I'm trying to reassure myself - bodies have been producing babies for a very long time. They know what they are doing. I am not measuring ridiculously huge, and have been following the same growth throughout. I haven't gained too much weight, and I haven't been living on Mars bars and chips - however tempting! 

My main concerns are obviously with baby, as long as they're okay I'm good. However I worry about my lovely birth too! I'm still hoping for a home birth this time, and another positive experience to go with Alice's! 

I guess this post a little pointless as I'm not really sure what's going on at the moment, but will hopefully have more of a clue later. My middle of the night research has backed up exactly what I thought - fundal height is a really poor indicator of baby size as it depends on so many things including how baby is lay, and amount of fluid. From the looks of things, ultrasound isn't a much better indicator either! But I will go for my scan and take it from there.

Just been looking through blog to try and find mentions of this from last time. I'm sure (but can't quite remember!) that Alice was always measuring big for dates, and they predicted she would be 9lb plus. She was 7lb14oz - perfectly normal weight. 

The other slight concern on their part is glucose. Throughout my pregnancy with Alice, and this time, I've had sugar in my wee pretty much every time. I had the fasting blood sugar test a few weeks ago, but depending on the results of scan today they may want me to go back for that again. Fingers crossed for no as I'm grumpy when I don't eat!!

To summarise my 5am ramblings - midwife pretty sure I'm having a litter of kittens instead. Get to see baby today and hoping she's still a girl. Will update later. 

With love and light xo 

30+2 - Bit of an update

Bit of an all over update as lots of little bits and pieces going off here!

We had an Alice free day today so have been blitzing lots of jobs in preparation for the arrival of new small child. Today I sorted through all the newborn / 0-3 clothes, stuff we've been given, and bits I picked up from eBay / Facebook. Finally feel much more organised in that respect although it took a lot longer than anticipated - primarily due to my OCD making me create drawer dividers!

We painted the alcoves in the bedroom and gave those a couple of coats, and the chimney breast is being wallpapered at some point in the next month or so. Still have lots of bits to do in her room but feeling much better about the state of it - pictures bought and need putting up, and I want to make a collage-y picture like one of these - http://pinterest.com/evenstarx/nursery-art/. Curtains up too, and black out blind here and ready for hanging.

Took the cot down in Alice's room today and sorted her big girl bed out. We are currently 40 minutes in to the first night and so far so good! I am envisioning a few wake ups but it needs doing, I just really can't be bothered - she sleeps so well in her cot and I would quite happily leave her in it for the next 20 years if it means she sleeps!

Still set on the name. Slightly concerned that someone famous is going to use it first as we literally have no other names. Relieved to see that the Kim / Kanye baby is called North.

Getting much bigger, and a bit more back/hip pain. Partly due to being stubborn and not wanting to slow down, partly due to chasing a small mental toddler round, partly due to my body failing me and feeling about 80! I'm at the midwife tomorrow so hoping that baby has spun a little and is pointing the right direction, but I'm not convinced and I'm pretty sure she's still sideways. Loads of time yet though.

Also had the results back from last weeks GTT and all okay - no diabetes. Winner. Pass me back the cake please.

This all seems to be absolutely flying this time. I would be quite happy to be pregnant for another 9 months if it means I get more time on my own with my special Alice. Even if it does mean I hobble round in the evenings!

However that doesn't mean I'm not excited, just can't imagine how 30 weeks has gone so quickly!

With love and light xo

28+3 - Pregnancy Update

Been to the midwife this morning and feeling a little fed up. Had glucose in my urine again so have to go the hospital on Thursday for a Glucose Tolerance Test again (had one about 32 weeks last time) which means fasting all day until test finished. In mid morning and should be done for after lunch time, so only missing breakfast, but that's tough when you're forever hungry!! Mitch can't take time off work this time so I'm just going to take a magazine / book etc. but not particularly looking forward to it. 

Baby also currently breech. I know that's nothing to worry about at this stage (28 weeks) but Alice was always head down and I'd just got it in my head that it was this case this time. I've been reading a few tips for movement on the Spinning Babies website so I'm going to get my birth ball down and start doing a few exercises to encourage baby to spin. 

So, even though I know both things will probably be fine, I'm just a bit worried. Both breech presentation and gestational diabetes would mean definitely no home birth, and probably no water birth. It's safe to say I'm feeling a bit down and a bit self pitying about it this morning, but there's not a lot I can do! 

I think I need to get back on the hypnobirth positive mental attitude - it will all be okay - birth is a natural thing and an amazing thing that your body is designed to do. 

Pregnancy wise I'm doing okay so far apart from the above! Starting to get a bit of back pain but nothing out of the ordinary. Struggling to breathe throughout the day a little as she's just so high up in my body. I think (maybe?) I had some Braxton Hicks the other day but I'm not sure as I never had them with Alice. 

I'm no further on with baby things than last post - all clothes and accessories still in attic and no further with her room. Got to decide whether to paint or not, then start getting things out and see what we're missing. She does have curtains now which is a step forward I suppose! 

With love and light xo

27+3 - Photos

I tried to take a set of proper photos but they somehow got gatecrashed by a cat and a small child! 27 weeks now, and officially third trimester. Alice has got into the nightly routine of helping me put cream on my tummy, although I'm sure the stretch mark monster is creeping up...

With love and light xo

Dear Alice - 25 Months

Dear Alice,

You are now 25 months old. Do I carry on writing these? Soon I'm not sure I'll have time! For now I'll do my best.

Your words and phrases get better on a daily basis. You now understand to say please, thank you and sorry at the right times, although most of the time you're not really sorry! You're sentences get better every day, and you seem to pick up at least a word or 2 a day. I'm trying to be very careful what I say in front of you!

You can name all the colours, and about 15 shapes. You count to 20 easily, and know about 40 animals. You can tell the difference between some really similar animals - like a rhino and a hippo.

I went away for 2 nights last weekend for a hen weekend and left you with daddy all weekend. I missed you a lot, and you barely noticed I was gone! You're so good about being looked after by different people. You've never been grumpy about it, but you love attention from different people especially now that they all think you're adorable and you can make them laugh. When I leave for work I can barely get a kiss out of you, you're far too excited to be spending the day with mama or nanny.

You have developed a strange jack in a box obsession. You've had this toy for about 2 years, and not really ever been bothered about it. I put some toys in the spare room in preparation for your sister, and you found it in there. You now carry it everywhere with you and ask for it constantly. I'm hoping you will share!

You are more and more aware of your baby sister. We try and talk about her, and you give my tummy a kiss and cuddle, but you've still not fully understood and I'm not sure you will.

We've had a few colouring disasters over the past few days, and you are now not allowed your crayons without supervision! You have destroyed the wall twice, the floor, the dining table, your little table, and basically anything that will sit still long enough. Every time I think I've hidden all the crayons, I leave the room then come back to beautifully coloured walls. I'm not sure if you're being naughty or artistic?

Yesterday you did your first pee in potty, completely unprompted! You followed me upstairs, asked to sit on your potty, and just did a wee! I was amazed, but you've shown absolutely no interest at all since. I'm just going to keep reminding you of the potty and see what happens.

You ask for cuddles all the time; generally when you've done something wrong and want to make it better. I am not sure I can ever turn down a cuddle.

You've been sleeping really well (...famous last words!), and have thankfully gone back to having a little nap in the day. I'm not sure how long it will last, but you are much happier when you have it, and so am I! You sleep 7pm - 7am which is perfect, and have a nap in the afternoon about 1pm.

I have times where you seem so little and baby like to me; when I do your bedtime bottle and you snuggle up to me, twist my hair and smell like sweets. And other times when you seem so huge; you run off at the park and giggle and jump and climb up the slide. I don't think I ever want you to grow up, but I'm so proud every time you do.

With love and light xo

24+4 - Pregnancy Update

Just a brief pregnancy update as I realised I've not written anything for a while!

We have finally picked a name, which turned out to be easy after months of it being a sore subject! We couldn't agree on anything at all - I loved (love!) Matilda, but Mitch didn't like it no matter how much I brought it up. We both liked Beatrice / Beatrix but it never seemed 100% right. I woke up one morning with a name in my head that I hadn't even thought about before, rung Mitch, and we both loved it. Perfect. I think it was partly that he was fed up of picking names, but I'm 100% happy with what we've chosen!

I am very round. However at least I don't look fat anymore, just very pregnant! I am already starting to struggle a bit with rolling over at night and moving a little, and having the 4am wake ups where I get stuck a bit like a whale. I have currently found an elaborate 300 pillow wedging system that seems to be working for the most part, and I am extremely thankful for the super king size bed!

However, (touch wood) I seem to be having a pretty awesome pregnancy so far! No sickness anymore, the bug from last month has vanished, and I feel pretty great. Tired from chasing after a small Tasmanian devil, but I think that's just a tiring occupation!

The movements I'm feeling now are much more than little pops - they are huge kicks and wiggles that can be seen / felt from the outside. Feeling these now just shows me how much less I felt Alice with her anterior placenta (placenta at front). I think this time I'd only just started feeling her kick, whereas now I'm already partly recreating scenes from Alien. Mostly, I love being reminded of her. However not so much at 4am when it's party time all up in my ribs!

We have emptied the spare room in preparation for starting to get all the baby things out the attic over the next few weeks / months. I've kind of planned a few little decoration-y bits, but I know it's not super important as she will probably end up in bed with us permanently attached to me for about the first year. (I'm finding this part the hardest to be enthusiastic about!). Still, it would be nice for her to have a pretty room, and I'll put pictures up as / when we get to making it look nice.

We've left the double bed up in her room as a spare room / Mitch needs to get some sleep room - which will be loads nicer than last time we had a newborn baby in the tiny flat!

Not really bought anything or done anything - feel a bit unprepared, but I know we have everything from Alice still in the attic so there's not really a lot we need! It does make me a bit sad that I haven't been able to get all excited about buying tiny person things, but I don't want to spend money for the sake of it. I'll need to buy a few warmer outfits for her to see us through the winter, but I'll wait till she arrives and see what size she is.

Having a name and feeling her move makes it a little more real, but it still feels like something super far away in the distance. I don't remember how I felt with Alice - did having more time to think about it make it more absolute? At the moment it's just a distant idea in the back of my head most of the time! Is that awful?

I know that I obviously love her, and will love her so much, but right now I'm so terrified as to how I could love anyone as much as I love Alice! How do you split yourself in 2?

With love and light xo