Urgh. I haven't wanted to write as I haven't wanted to moan. I like to be able to fill this space with sunshine and happiness and magical children. But that's not really where we're at right now.
As always, magical preface to say I know how lucky I am. I get it. We're lucky. I really honestly do. But, I'm struggling a little at the moment.
I'm hurting and sore and as a consequence not sleeping. It's been getting worse, until I went to the doctors a few weeks ago after I had a really bad week.
The GP has diagnosed symphysis pubis dysfunction, or SPD. I'm hoping this isn't the case, and I'm pinning my hopes on it magically disappearing, but at the moment I think I'm being a bit ridiculous and need to be realistic.
I can walk and potter and do my normal bits and pieces, but by the afternoon I hurt. Not a little bit achey, like I could cry at my desk. I want to hobble home and go to bed. I've had a few days where it's been a lot worse and I've struggled. And I do not like struggling - I like being super pregnant woman and mowing lawns and running round and basically doing everything. And my body is currently saying no, and I'm finding that difficult.
I am mostly fine some days, but some days I'm in quite a lot of pain. I'm struggling with getting my head round this a bit, as it's difficult to realise it isn't going to go away and is most likely going to get worse.
I'm not good at asking for help, and I'm not good at taking it easy; so we'll see where this goes.
I have an appointment with the obstetric physiotherapist on Thursday to hopefully get a bit more advice and confirm what it is. In my head I'm terrified of 2 things - 1. It all being in my head and them basically telling me to suck it up and I'm being pathetic. Or 2. It being SPD and them basically confirming it's going to get worse until delivery. So we will see! Ideally option number 3 would be here - lets fix it. You're now totally fine - hurrah!
So - positive things. Nothing is wrong with the baby. I am healthy and fit a well and it's only pain. I am very lucky to be here anyway. Please remind me of all these things regularly.
