Tuesday 26 April 2011




With love and light xo

12 Days


I haven't forgotten about the blog, and I have about amillion and one things to say, but I just don't know how to write them down! The time is absolutely flying by, every time I look at the clock it's as if another day has passed and I have no idea how to slow it down. It's the scariest thing in the world, as I know I'm going to blink and she won't be this tiny little thing anymore.

The first 10 days of breastfeeding were / are incredibly difficult. I thought we'd cracked it a little more yesterday but we've had a very fussy and hungry baby today so I think saying we're doing well is a bad idea! I could literally not have carried on with feeding without Mitch's support - bringing me drinks and holding my hand when I was crying because it hurts, or because our little screaming baby won't latch despite the fact I know she's super hungry.

We really struggled between day 3/4 and day 8 - she wouldn't latch for an hour each time and we'd both be getting more and more upset, with her occasionally being passed to dad to calm down before we tried again. Knowing that she was hungry and that I wasn't able to feed her was killing me, but through a mix of expressing, technique, and perseverance we seem to be a little better now.

I think for me the hardest thing about breastfeeding is not knowing how much she's getting, or indeed if she's getting any at all. Especially on a day like today where she's feeding constantly - you can't help but doubt the quantity / quality. The health visitors coming tomorrow to weigh her and I'm dreading how much more weight she's lost. At 4 days she'd lost 4% (they allow up to 10%) so I'm hoping and praying she's not lost a lot more.

Add to this the mix of hormones and lack of sleep and new parent worries and breastfeeding becomes much more difficult than I ever imagined! However it's also amazing and perfect and the best thing in the world when it's going well. I'm also getting super strong arms which will be a bonus for climbing :P

Yesterday I also fed in public for the first time, in the middle of a park full of people! I was really scared / apprehensive, but when it came down to it she needed feeding and it didn't really even cross my mind until I was already doing it. My mum was with me and sort of covered me over with a blanket and sat next to me to shield me a bit, but no-one even looked up. I've also fed in front of lots of family members I didn't think I'd be able to, but the moment and feeling of embarrassment disappears as soon as she starts crying - she needs feeding and she is my priority!

I know I've just written an essay about boobzzz but that's pretty much all I am at the moment - food on legs! I just wanted to write about how hard it is, so hopefully other people can be prepared. But it's so worth it, don't let me put you off! And it's getting easier every day :)

Sleep wise we're doing okay, or as well as can be expected. For example, last night I was up 10.00 - 11.30, 1.00 - 2.30, 4.30 - 6 then up at 7.30. Trying to take naps in the day but that's tricky as I want to be able to do things and tidy and be a human being!

We've been really lucky to have had some beautiful sunshine this past few weeks, so even though we've not been able to go far, we've been aiming to have at least a little wander round the block every day - just to get some fresh air and make me feel a bit less like a prisoner! I'm loving pushing the pram around, and so far I only have good things to say about our pram - fully recommended so far!

I will get round to writing up my birth story soon, hopefully before I forget it! It may have to be written in parts though. I know this entry is long and boob related, but to summarise - we are all fine, Alice is beautiful, and we are all very much in love :).


With love and light xo

Wednesday 20 April 2011

1 Week


Today my beautiful little girl is one week old. I've been thinking all week about what profound things I could write for my first blog entry, and how I could explain just how much my / our lives have changed in a week. I keep coming up blank.

She is so completely perfect in every single way. I love her so much it's actually quite scary - how are we possibly going to carry on with our lives without spending every second watching her? Listening to her breathing, stroking her hair, watching her perfect little lips purse and stroking her beautiful hair?

I've got so much to say I don't know where to start! I want to write about the hospital, about her birth and first few days and milestones, and I don't want to forget anything! But then I also don't want to spend my time writing about it - I want to live it and breathe it.

To summarise - the beautiful Alice Elizabeth was born at 9.52pm on the 14th April, weighing 7lb 14 oz.

We had the birth we wanted, and I fully intend to write up the birth story soon! A water birth, using the tens machine with a little gas and air towards the end, and she was perfect from the second she was born.

We're struggling with a lot of things, and sometimes it feels like this is an impossible task. We're persevering with breastfeeding, although we've had a few mini melt downs. Who'd have thought something so natural could be so difficult? I don't think I'll feel better about it till she starts gaining weight, which could be up to a month. It's completely not what I imagined but when it's going well it's amazing. When it's not going well it's impossible. We're taking every feed as it comes.

I literally could not have gotten through this past week without the support and help of Mitch - he is the most amazing daddy in the world, and has completely looked after us both all week. I didn't realise I could have so much love to share with daddy and baby!

I'll hopefully be able to blog a little more now I've got used to typing one handed!


With love and light xo

Wednesday 13 April 2011

39+6 - Best / Worst - Third Trimester

Okay, so seeing as though I am officialy cooked tomorrow, I'm going to do my summary of the best and worst things about the third trimester. Click for the first trimester and second trimester! I'm hoing to carry on with these best and worst things when baby is here, maybe every 3 months or so? We will see!

The Worst Things

1. Painful / uncomfortable kicks. No-one really mentions quite how uncomfortable kicks and movements can become, especially at 3am when the baby has decided that your ribs are actually quite a nice place for kicking away, and repeatedly kicking the same place is a very good idea! I had a few really sore / almost bruised patches from when she kept kicking away and it brought me almost to tears on a few occasions. Still, I put movements in the best list too so they can't be that bad!

2. Lack of sleep.
This is obviously a hugely negative factor, as you're so tired and achey and fed up and all you want to do is sleep, but it seems to completely evade you. You also want to punch the next person who tells you it's "just practice for when baby is here", no matter how right they might be! How much practice of sleep deprivation do you really need? I wish I could nap in the day, as that would make everything much better. I need to work on this skill for when she is here I think...

3. Size.
During the third trimester, down to your physical size, you become unable to do certain things, or roll over without making noises like a strained elderly lady. You can't bend down without considering it a military operation, and you consider installing a hoist to aid bath time. I am most looking forward to putting my shoes on without leaning against a wall.

This probably isn't helped by the fact that I am no good at asking for help, and just like to do things myself. Slip on shoes have helped a lot - good job I love Vans.

4. Clothes.
I know this is incredibly vain, but I am so incredibly fed up with wearing the same things day in day out! I have tried to save money by not really buying a lot of maternity clothes, but now they're just all falling to pieces and I'm so fed up of the same 5 tops and the same pair of jeans - I just want to wear normal person clothes again!

5. Waiting.
And waiting... And waiting some more...

You know this huge thing is going to happen soon and change your life forever, but you're just sat around watching Jezza and waiting for something to happen! It's a very strange feeling, just like you're completely stuck in an interim stage where not really anything has changed just that you've had a few weeks off work and got a bit fat.

The Best Things

1. Finishing work. I worked till 36/37 weeks and I made the right call. I was really starting to struggle, partly due to lack of sleep and partly due to back and hip pain. In the last week I was coming home in tears, and just physically couldn't have worked another week. Complete hats off to the ladies who manage to work until due date - I would not have been able to!

2. Maternity leave.
Kind of a continuation of the above point, but maternity leave is lovely! Especially when there are no pesky babies getting in the way of your Grey's Anatomy marathon...

3. Excitement!
I didn't think I could possibly get any more excited, but how wrong was I. She has a name and a bed and some sheets and everything, (apart from a swimming poncho and smoking jacket / beret as Chloe keeps pointing out :P) and we are all so excited to meet her and give her cuddles and just learn everything we can about this tiny person! Who is she going to look like? Is she going to be ginger?

4. Attention.
Getting all the attention without anyone else stealing it is awesome ;)

5. Movements.
I know I've listed kicks in the worst things, but they're also incredible and amazing to feel and just know that you are growing a little person who is kicking away to let you know all is okay. I will miss them when they're gone, and miss this incredible closeness we currently share.

6. Preperation. Feeling much more prepared, having tiny clothes folded away in tiny drawers and just feeling a lot more in control. I'm sure this feeling is only temporary, and as soon as she arrives I'll feel like the most underprepared person in the world!

7. Babies. And obviously the best thing about the third trimester is that soon enough, I'm going to have a baby! How awesome is that?!

In all seriousness, I wanted to write this before she came and I completely forgot all about my pregnancy and how I felt. It has been an incredible 9 months, and we are so lucky that everything has been pretty straightforward up until now, and I just hope we are as lucky with the birth and meeting our beautiful little girl! Who seems pretty content in staying put for another two weeks... sigh!

If anyone has any questions to ask me while I'm still preggerz, write them below and I'll try and answer to the best of my ability!

With love and light xo

Tuesday 12 April 2011

39+5 - Letter from Grandad

Not a lot to write about I'm afraid! I've had a few tightenings over the past few days which I presume are / were braxton hicks, but they weren't painful or uncomfortable. Other than that nothing! I've been a little uncomfortable and achey, but I think that's largely been down to doing too much walking. Not due for another 2 days, but still sort of sat around waiting.

I opened my email today to find this lovely email from my dad. I'm trying as hard as I can!!! :P

"Dear Lizz,

After due consideration, I have decided that today is a good day to have a baby.

It would give us a little time to indulge in a few cuddles and kisses prior to going on holiday with a clear conscience and no worries.

Furthermore I would be able to play darts tomorrow and I have nothing else booked in at this stage for this evening.

If you are coming round for tea tonight, please feel free to finish your meal before getting stuck into the matter at hand. (Have a word with ***babies name removed!!*** please)

Looking forward to your response.

Best Regards,

Neil"

Saturday 9 April 2011

39+3 - Bump Photo




Only one more space on the photo grid, hopefully to be filled with a picture of me and baby! Click here to see them all in order :)

With love and light xo

Friday 8 April 2011

39+1 - Nada.

So, my guess has been and gone! For some reason I'd got the 7th April in my head, but that was yesterday and despite my best efforts the day went without so much as a twinge. Between now and the 23rd someone has guessed every day and I'd really like her to be here by then! We will see.

I've been a lot more tired this past week, partly due to my new sleep schedule which you could set a clock by! I manage 11/12 - 4, then 7 - 9. I have no idea what it is about 4am that wakes me up, but I've been very thankful for iBooks / the Kindle app and the ton of free books available on those! I guess maybe the sleep schedule is preparing me for baby?

The weather has been beautiful but I've not really done a lot. Took a few walks out to meet people / do a little shopping but I keep getting crampy legs so having to have a little sit down - my fitness levels have literally never been so low and it's quite frustrating! Was chatting to someone about climbing last night and I realised at the moment I can barely climb a set of stairs, let alone consider bouldering - sad times!

Everything is ready for baby I think. Everyone keeps asking if we're ready but I guess there's only so much you can do? I'm sure we'll figure other things out when she's here!

I got a rocking chair off of Freecycle that I've been sanding down to hopefully paint this weekend. Hopefully it will look nice, and it's super comfy to sit and rock in. However I've proceeded to cover every surface in the house with a thin layer of wood dust after spending Monday dusting everywhere - I am an idiot!

Will hopefully take some bump photos today and upload those later. Slightly hesitant to do so as the stretch mark monster has finally caught me. The least said about that the better I suppose!

With love and light xo

Monday 4 April 2011

38+4 - Mother's Day!


My lovely Mother's Day flowers from my baby girl! And I got a lovely card with a cat on. Smart baby - sending cards from in utero! :).

With love and light xo

Friday 1 April 2011

38+1 - April fools!

38+1 today and still no sign at all of our little cupcake. Not a twinge or a braxton hicks in sight! As today is April Fools day I did consider posting a little to the contrary but we all know what happened to the boy who cried wolf...

Midwife appointment went fine yesterday, although she seems convinced that baby is big and let me know in several different ways! She did mention something about being 9lb at full term but we're going to quickly skip over that one... Blood pressure and everything else was fine, and baby is now 3/5 engaged so a little more than last time. She did give me some rather glamorous ways to start labour off but I get the feeling that baby is just pretty comfortable in there!

Mitch had Monday and Tuesday off work so we had a long weekend together before baby which was lovely. We fed the ducks at Rufford Park and had a nice wander round Newark in the sunshine and just generally relaxed a little bit in the sunshine. I got honked at by a particularly mean goose and we met the most photogenic squirrel in the world.


DSCF0981

The rest of this week has flown by, even though I've not really been doing a lot! I've been really tired, and found myself getting short of breath very quickly, even doing quite basic things such as pegging washing out. I walked into Mansfield yesterday which takes about 10 minutes maximum, and had to have a sit down by the time I got there because I was all hot and out of breath - looking forward to feeling a little fitter!

So all in all, nothing to report. Lots of people wrong on the birthday guess list, but today we have Mitch's mum, my Grandad, and Piers. And Mandy guessed Monday. Will keep the blog updated!

With love and light xo